Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Friday, September 12, 2008

Flame On!

I'm in a radio control room with the temperature at a cozy 64 deegrees. Here's the reason why.

Today I finally had the CRT scan done for my leg and for the record, it wasn't so bad. I went to day surgery earlier this morning to start . Once I got there and registered, they sent me to the back to get prepped, which meant that would have to get an IV in my arm so that way the doctors could run the special dye that's needed during the scan to show where the damage is done. Right there is where the problem beings.

The friendly nurses did their best to try to get those needles in my right arm and did they every try. When you have two arms that have shunts for dialysis and only one arm really works and the other is just for show now, it gets to be a hassle for anyone who needs to take blood.  There where three of them and they were as nice as could be, but it was like those three lady vampires in "Dracula", except these were nice with Southern accents. "Bless his heart, Vianna. I sworet here was a vein right here, I just knew it." After a few needles and more digging, the radiologists decided  to run the IV in the left arm, which I thought would be easier anyway since it's the arm they use for dialysis anyway. What the Hell, it's been poked and prodded enough. What's one more big needle?

After they get that done (and I know most of you may be needle shy and to you I say you are a pussy, so I'm done talking about it for a bit), I'm moved mto the room with the CRT. The machine is kind of like that thing on Stargate: SCG when they go through on side and come out another side, but it's smaller, it fits one, you lie down to go through it and there's no water and junk. Actually, it kind of like a torture weapon used on James Bond to give up secrets he would never tell. To further that, my feet were actually bound together so I would be pigeon toed and my arms were placed over my head, along with having the IV in my arm. "Mr. Johnson, you vill tell me those schecret codes now or I vill be forschted to face my CIRCLE OF DOOM! But before ve do dat, here's my plan of world domination." Bond villain were sooo stupid for giving up their own secrets.

They run me through the Circle of Doom a few times and then right as they were finished, they run the dye through the IV. If you have never had that done to you, it feels like a warm rush that runs through your body. There's a metallic taste in your mouth and you feel very flush. It was over as soon as it all started, really. I got up from the torture gurney, changed clothes and went home. Before I left, the nurses appologizes for all the needles and let me know that should here the results from the scan soon from my doctor. You think the story's done now, right? No, it ain't.

I have been burning up since the radiologists ran that dye in my system. Anyone who has touched me today has told me that I feel like I'm on fire and you could fry an egg and two strips of bacon on my forehead. This is why I am sitting in a 64 degree room while I type this. I've been told I was hot, but this is too much. So to cool off, as soon as I'm done at work, I'm going to Sonic for a slushie and chilling out.

MMMMmmmmm, eggs, bacon and a Slushie.

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