Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Monday, July 30, 2007

One Last Colortini


Here's an interesting fact. One of Tom Snyder's earliest jobs was as a reporter for the six o'clock news here in Savannah on WSAV, an NBC affiliate. From stories I heard from long time newsmen in Savannah, Tom never really got along with some of the folks here and he left after a couple of years. When the Tomorrow Show began running in 1973, the show never ran here in Savannah. Obviously, there must have been some really bad feelings between Snyder and the station. Only when the original Late Late Show began in 1995 on CBS and local affiliate WTOC did Snyder return to Savannah. I remember Tom recalling his days here in town on the air, which he had a major disdain for WSAV and very glad now to be part of the competition. This is why you'll hear about those days in most reports. That's right...You heard it from me first. Okay, not really first, but I'm the first to mention it today. You can see the proof here.

Being a Savannian, I happened to like the guy. Tom Snyder was one of the best interviewers around. He was no nonsense, he could hit hard and be a soft as a velvet glove in a second. Sure, he was loud, but he got the story across. He smoke, he drank, he was a guy. In his career, he ticked a lot of folks off, but he as what he was and that made him Tom and he was good.

Tom Snyder passed away Sunday at the age of 71 after a fight with lukemia. It wasn't from all the cigs, but you thought that would have gotten him but it didn't. Still he had faith that the lukemia would be treated, but in the end the disease took it's toll. That was possibly the only thing in the world that could silence such a voice as his.

I know that there'll be many sites that will post clips of Tomorrow and the Late Late Show and I'll be one of many. But I know that I could be the only one to have had the man do a news story from Savannah in the early sixties. One last time, let's fire up a computer Colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures now, as they fly across the web.



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Sunday, July 29, 2007

I Wish I Was In San Diego Right Now

Today's the last day for the annual San Diego Comic-Con, the biggest geek fest in the country and I really should be there. However, since I don't feel like fighting to get through nearly 50, 000 people dressed as fat Jedi/fat Spider-men/fat anything. Also, I'm broke. Here's some of the movie news that came out of it...

Here's the first look at Iron Man, coming next year. Watch it now before I get a cease order from Marvel.



That whole thing about "Cloverfield", the upcoming J.J. Abrams movie out in '08? It's really called Colossus and it's a giant monster movie. You can have this one, interweb. You burnt me on "Snakes On A Plane" and "Pick Of Destiny". But who wants to bet I'll be there to see it anyway? Damn you, Al Gore...

The teaser trailer for the new Batman movie "The Dark Knight" can be found here. You just gotta look for it. It's teeny tiny...

"Sylar" from Heroes will be Mr. Spock in the new Star Trek film along with Leonard Nimoy. I just hope there's no brain eating.

Indiana Jones is back and he's bringing Marion Ravenwood with him. She hasn't aged one bit.

The cast for Watchmen has been picked, including Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach. Go get 'em, Kelly Leak!

There's loads of comic book news as well, but I thought you'd care more about the movies coming soon. For comic fans, check out Newsarama (no relation) for updated news. And for those who ever wanted to go to a comic con and want to know what it's like just remember...
SHE-MALE IVY IS WATCHING YOU.

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

"I Got 99 Problems And A B.... Ain't One"

By now, most of the readers here know that I live in a very nice little town. Not too big, not too small, just right for me. However here in my town, the citizens of Savannah have a few rules they'll need to survive this place. So the folks at the Savannah Morning News came up with 99 rules to live by here in town. You can see the list here, which I thought was great, but there needed to be a few adendums and changes for it to work in my opinion. Follow their list and then see what I added to straighten the thing out...

2.5 If you are over the age of thirty-three and not really Irish at all, stay off River Street on St. Patrick's Day weekend. You will become tired of the whole thing after standing in line the first ten minutes.

8.5 Screw Jody and the rest of the TV anchors. Jim Carswell was the rightful heir to the throne of Doug Weathers.

12.5 Sadly, the hip hop generation in this town (okay, let's just say it: young Black kids) think that Johnny Mercer is just a road on the island. Ask them who Camaflage was and they can rap you three of his tunes. "Cut Friends" was one of his best. R.I.P., Cam.

20.5 While you're crunkin' the car, show your porn from the screen on the back seat while there's no other riders.

22.5 If any SCAD student becomes too pretentious, slap 'em. Backhanded.

26.5 Hey Ma'am, while you're wearing that Spandex you should have stopped wearing pounds ago, keep on wearing that half shirt. It's Savannah! No one's gonna see your womanly beer gut.

28.5 Johnny Harris got their BBQ sauce recipe from an old Black employee, then took it for themselves and never gave him any of the profit, allegedy. Skip it. It's just for tourists these days anyway.

30.5 "Bless their heart". There's no greater insult.

58.5 Every story you heard about Burt Reynolds in the Sevenites is true. Most of it happened here. Dom Deluse came much later in life.

61.5 If Vox Populi doesan't print your phoned in rants, start a blog.

64.5 "Palmetto bugs", my ass. You saw them fighting raptors in " Jurassic Park". Those are Russian tanks with legs.

72.5-74.5 Paula Deen's restaurant is okay, but not great. It's just for the folks who watch her on Food Network, which is a lot of tourists. If you come from out of town and can't get in to Lady and Sons, go to Mrs. Wilkes. If you go with me, we're going to Mama and Nikki's. Trust me.

81.5 We were over "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" once the movie came out. Check out this list of movies made here in town. "Bingo Long's Travelling All Stars and Motor Kings" with Billy Dee Williams, James Earl Jones and Richard Pryor RULES! Can't forget the "Swamp Thing" movies!

That's all I got. I know that there's loads more rules that I should remember, but they'll some to me. Wait...there is one more...

99.5 The Krispy Kreme on Skidaway is open twenty-four/seven, except Thanksgiving and Christmas. Same thing with all the Krystals.

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Bless You, Tammy Faye...


I don't know if anyone saw Larry King a few days ago when Tammy Faye Bakker Messner made her last public appearance before her death Friday, but it was an eye opener. Not for the shock of seeing a woman ravaged with cancer, but a woman who was brave enough to face her public one last time. Throughout her entire life, from The PTL Club to the scandals to becoming a sort of cult hero, Tammy Faye faced it, mascara and all. When it came down to over a ten year battle with cancer, she kept on living with the grace she was given. Many people didn't agree with her on religion, the way she sold it or even the makeup she wore. In the end, she made her peace with the world and no matter how rough life is, always keep the faith. That, and have your makeup bag handy. You'll never know when you'll smudge your mascara.

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Friday, July 20, 2007

Harry Potter and The Overkilled Book


I was bored as heck last night so I decided to lurk out online until I came to the site that had the hacked version for the new Harry Potter book. I really shouldn't have looked at it but I figured "what the heck"? After long thought here i s what I found out. If you don't like spoilers, here's what I found out...

Dumbledore has an addiction to fried chicken


Dobby? He never really existed. He was a drugged fueled apperition and basically, everybody at


Hogswart was stoned out of their ass


Harry loses his final senior game of Quiddich when revealed that steriods were involved


Hagrid gets busted by "To Catch A Predator"


Hermoine and Ron finally make out, with a twenty-five page love scene that is just plain wicked


Snape receives a note from Harry that says "Now I have a gun...HO HO HO"


Harry's parents where alive all along, playing Vegas under the name Sigfried and Roy


Voldemort is finally destroyed, but at a cost to Harry. Fast forward twenty years later and we find Harry now working his magic at the local London Jiffy Lube, but still showing the ladies his "magic wand".


If you want to still buy the book after this, I say go for it. It looks like a winner to me!

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Drink Drank, Drunk

I did a bad thing on Monday night. I got drunk. To most of you, it's no big deal. To me, it is with my kidney ailment. However, with the way things have been the past few days, I really needed to cut loose. So I got WASTED and it felt good.

I got a call from one of my oldest friends Patty to join her and her husband Mike, who hosts kareoke at a place called The King's Inn. I can say there there is nothing regal about the place other than the drinks are cheap and the have a pool table. It';s hidden away off Skidaway Road and perfect if you just want to sit, get drunk and not bothered. I highly recommend it for loners and fans of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Anyway, I get there and there's only ten people other than the bartender there. However, I did see two old freinds of mine. T-Money, better known as Tadd, who is the publisher/editor of the local monthly magazine Murmer and Tony, manager of The Jinx while secretly performing great alt. country under the name Whiskey Dick. It was good to see ex patriats from the downtown Savannah scene around since I don't go out much anymore.

So, after the handshakes and getting caught up with good news (Murmer is going well and Tony is opening for David Allan Coe next month in Hilton Head), the drinks started to flow. It started with one shot of Rumplemintz. If you've never had it before, it's a cinnamon schnapps served cold. one turned into two which in time became three into four. We were all soon on stage doing bad cover songs. i did at one point "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins and T-Money and did "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" by Culture Club. I forget some of the other songs because by the time I did the Boy Georgem tune, I was f-ed up. Which just tells me I am now a lightweight if I can get drunk from four lousy shots of schnapps.

After nearly passing out at the bar, I got Patty to take me home, where I immediatly took off my close as soon as I walked into the doorway, walked upstairs naked and fell on the bed where I quickly went to sleep with a big smile on my face. I thought that some of you would like that desciption. Thank me later, ladies. I woke up the next day without a hangover and my breath was cinnimony fresh, so everything turned out okay.

I know that I shouldn't drink and that may have been the last time I'll ever do something like that again for the safety of my health. The thing was that it needed to be done and I have no regrets in doing it. Once in a while, oyu just have to let your hair down or in my case, let my scalp breathe. Plus, there were two things out of the night that worked in my favor. One, I'll be writing a piece for Mummer in the future (Thanks, Tadd) and I'm the new host for kareoke at The King's Inn on Friday nnights starting next week. If you have the free time, come on down a do a tune. I'll be the guy on stage sipping on cranberry juice.

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Either Or

I hate choices. I hate having to make a decision on anything. I hate having to choose between vanilla or chocolate. I hate having to choose between "My Name is Earl" and "Smallville". I hate choosing between redheads and blonds. I hate, I hate, I hate I hate...

Right now, if I had to chose between getting the interweb turned back on in my house or having a working car, I would choose the car. The Started died on my on the Fourth of July and it hasn't run since. It's been sitting up in my year now while I can find someone cheap enough to repair it. Until then, I've had to miss out on my Summer classes, not to mention being late for dialysis. I shouldn't even try to reair athe car that my ex-wife left me with and just junk the damn thing, but it's the onlty way for me to get around. A 1993 four door Ford Escort that has only two working doors since I had an accident that had the passenger side banged in. Oh yeah, it's a real P-Wagon, that car. It's all I have though and I have no choice but to try and get it fixed on the cheap until I can afford a new car, or at least something new to me. That is why I'm not back on the web as fully as I should be. It's the choice that I made and I gotta see it through. Dammitt.

It's kinf of like that game "Would You Rather..." where folks create senarios and the person on the other side of the question makes the best, logical choice which is best for them. Somethings that can be really screwed up. How about we play a round or two. I'll come up with the question, you supply the answer.

Would you rather lose your hearing OR

lose the sence of touch?

Would you rather jump head first into a pool or sharks OR

run in the middle of a forest with a bear?

Would you rather have a five minute make out session with Dick Cheney OR

have a quckie with Al Gore?

Would you rather stand naked for fifteen minutes in front of your family on Thankgiving OR

being dumped by your signifgant other on national television on Valentine's Day?

Would you rather have a Big Mac and a kick to the shins OR

a Whopper and a boot to the knees?

Would you rather listen to "The Best of David Hasslehoff" OR

"Jerry Spinger Sings The Hits"?

I told you , I hate choices. It's never easy. Oh well, I gotta go. I need tofigure out a way to get home from work today. Do I hitchhike and get picked up by a psycho or do I call a cab and realize I left my wallet at work when I go to pay him later? Hmmmmm...

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

The Great EIght

I've been tagged by Good Ol' David with a meme, which is good since I needed a subject to write on for this week. To start the meme, I must do this..

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged must make a post about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them each a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


Great, like people don't know enough things about me by now. Here we go...


1. As a child, I had a begnin tumor on the side of my head that was removed when I was sixteen. Nothing cancerous or anything, but it was there. My mama told me that it was there because I had "extra brains".


2. I take sleeping pills to sleep because of anxiety. Ambien CR works wonders for me at night.


3. My ex wife and I got into a nearly heated argument about banana pudding. My mama used Jello Vannila instant pudding for hers and refrigerated it while the ex's mom made a merange for the top of the pudding and baked it in the oven. I hate cooked bananas, except for banana bread. Needless to say, after a cookoff with friends judging, my banana pudding won hands down as the best. No wonder the bitch left me: she was a sore loser.


4. I worked as a driver for an escort service in the ninties for just one day. I quit when my car died in the middle of Abercorn and I had a girl in the car. Needless to say, the cops showed up and I nearly had a psychobilly freakout when he asked what was wrong. I told him she was my girlfriend, he helped me fix the car and I drove off gasping for air. By the way, I never got any. C'mon, she was hooker!


5. I once busted into a man's home because I heard yelling and loud crying. It turned out that the guy was beating on a small puppy with a belt. I grabbed him by the collar, picked him up off the ground (he was at least 5'3") and told him if he ever hit and animal or anyone else like that again, I swore that I'd beat him just the same and worse and threw him to the ground. I found out the next day, he got rid of the puppy. Sadly, I don't know what was its fate to this day. I pray it was good.


6. I may have mentioed this before, but I hosted a cable access comedy/music show here in town called "Underground Savannah". After at least three years of trying to hold down a cast and trying to write and find good comedy, I flipped the format with a couple of guys and the show became "Noiz Haus", featuring lots of rock artists like Lemmy from Motorhead, No Doubt, Anthax and other great acts. It went on the ari for five years, of which I am both proud and ashamed at the same time. You Tube hasn't gotten ahold of of the "U.S." days and only I have the original masters of the first two and a half years. I''ve also had to stop some bootleggers who were selling footage of the show Great White before they started fires. However, thought I would at least show you this little clip of and interview that ran on the show featuring Dee Snider that was done in 1995. The interview was done in a cheap hotel in Colombia , S.C. at midnight. The interviewer is Joe Kleon and the guy running the camera and occasional wisecracks is me.


7. If I could get away with it and be comfortable, I'd wear boots everyday. I love boots. There, I said it.

8. On his meme, David said he first heard the Japanese pop group The Pizzicato Five in 1994. Well at the same time I discovered them while doing a guest review of their American debut "Made In The USA" for the local weekly paper here in town and fell inlove with them from the start. I thought and still think it's great CD for just driving around town on a day when you want to have fun. By the way, there's only three people in the Pizzicato Five. I don't ask questions, I just have fun.



Now that I am done I have to tag at least eight folks, so I'll pick Ivan, Brent, Pandora and new tp the blogroll for the initiation, Jen for the Sam-a-rama side. Since I'm also cheating today and posting this on the My Space blog (where I do have some original stuff there) I'll tag Evan, Johnny Picante, Jai, and Heather. To the others who missed out, don't worry about it. It's just a meme.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

"Curses!"

Because I'm bored here at work and to give you something to do today, I've loaded up videos of the Dramatic Chipmunk. Yes, I know it's a groundhog, but I'm jumping on this now before this fad goes away by Wednesday...


Here he is in "The Shining"


Now, he's Dr. Evil


Now, he's a perverted chipmunk


Look! It's Snidley Whiplash! That Chipmunk can do anything!


Here's the original video featuring the chipmunk


Finally, our little pal has the Best Week Ever! Hopefully after this we've seen the last of the chipmunk...OR HAVE WE?

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Sunday, July 01, 2007

Not So Ordinary (3.0) Average Guy

Life is great! Here I am, siting back enjoying my status as Sam 3.0 because of of the fact that I worked hard Spring Quarter and passed my classes.. It's good to know that what I'm doing now isn't in vain. However, I feel a shift in the air. I change in direction. Read on...

All has been quiet for the past few days. I took an entire week off after Spring Quarter just to get my head straight and I'm glad I did. Seriously, my eyes have been twitching from all the stress and I only took twio classes. I mean, I looked like a friggin' owl or something with my eyes acting funny. At least while I was on break, they stopped and I didn't look like a freak. Sadly, I know they'll be back starting Monday.

See, I regestered for Summer Quarter on Friday. Most folks would say why would I even want to go to school during the summertime? Well, I have nothing else to do and I may as well get educated instead of sitting on my duff, so I'm returning to class. I signed up to take Intro To Criminal Law this time and Biology 101. I thought Biology wouldn't be too hard, so I put it down. Sinister plans were afoot however to change that.

Once I gave my registation papers to the front desk, I went in financial aid to prefare for the next tree quarters when the secretarty for the registar found me and gave me my NEW schedule. It turns out that I can't take Biology yet and I'll have to take..ALGEBRA. I nearly crapped my pants once I heard that bit of news. I am terrible at numbers! I'm going into law here, so why in Blue Hell and I taking Algebra?

That's right. None of you can think of a good reason either. If you actually did think of a reason why I had to take it, bite me. You are a party pooper who goes to parties with slides of your family vacation.

Look, I know now that I have it down I'll have to go to class. The easy part is I only have to take it one day a week, but it's at night and for three hours. I know that I can do this, but I can just feel my right eye twitching away again. I just want to keep up my 3.0 average, but this is a challenge. Be forewarned...if you get a phone call from me asking what b+c-d equals, have pity on a guy. Please...

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