Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Friday, October 27, 2006

Gone Fishin'...

I won't be around for the next few days due to a very busy schedule. On Saturday, my neice will be getting married , so there's be a HUGE family reunion that day. That means I'll finally be able to eat some Black people cooking for the first time in a year. That will be great too, because on Sunday I will be at home prepping for the dreaded colonoscopy on Monday. If you've ever done that before, then you'll understand. If not, well let's just say plan on watching alot of tv from the bathroom that day. So if you need a Sam Fix until Wednesday, you'll have to wait. Be good till I get back.

Oh, and don't forget to turn your clocks back when you go to bed Saturday night.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Perky Love

Okay, I know how much America just LOVES Rachel Ray. But I know that alot of the country still can't stand the woman. I was on the fence about her for a bit now, until I remembered she did these photos for FHM Magazine a three years ago...
Rachel, you have my full devotion. See, if Kelly Ripa would do Maxim just once, I'd watch her in the morning.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Comments, We Get Comments

I just wanted to post this comment I recently recieved...

"Ok...so does it make me crazy that I read these. I feel like I know you for real - yeah...ok...I'm really going back to work NOW.Alli 10.23.06 - 2:29 pm # "

No Alli, you aren't crazy one bit. When I started this whole thing out, I wanted folks to get to know me and now they realize that I am a comic book reading, cobessive televison watching, Slushie drinking, single Geek in radio with 30% working kidneys. I'm just friendly that way. So, am I an idiot for posting about my life? Not really. I mean, I could be geting paid for it but I'm not, sadly. You hear that, Google?

Truely, I did this in the beginning to get some dead weight off my shoulders. I then noticed that folks were starting to pay attention to what I had to say and soon I had to keep going. Part of me is a bit of an exibitionist to just throw my life out in the open like that, but the other side just wants to be accepted and make friends. If I've done so by making you a regular reader here, then I hope you walk away with a smile on your face and say to youself, "I know that boy ain't right, but he's good people, bless his soul". Hey, I still have half the state of Montana reading and I'm in Georgia, so I must be doing something right.

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Sunday, October 22, 2006

"I'll take the dalmation for 200."


In my Zelig/Gump life, I 've had some amazing adventures, but none more mindblowing than being on the game show "Wheel Of Fortune". I talked about here in length about a year ago and I'm retelling the story again for anyone who may have missed it on My Space right now. The story's the same as last time, seriealized into three parts for those who remember, but I had to read it again because after over twenty years, I still can't believe I was there. Anyways, give it look. The third chapter shows up Monday.

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A Few Facts About Me

I never got any sleep last night and now I'm here at work and doing my best to try to stay awake. So right now, I'm gonna do the impossible, something I've never done here on the site before. I'm gonna try to come up with 100 facts about myself. Maybe you've seen this on other sites or done it yourself if you have one. there's not really much about me that's that fasinating I think, but I hope to surprise myself as I do this. Maybe I'll surprise you , too.

1. My full name is Samuel Marquieth Johnson.
2. I'd rather be called Marc. The use of the name Sam showed up when I was in school, but around the house, my mama called me Marc. Bless her for that.
I was born on June Forteenth, 1966. That's Flag Day.
3. I thought al the flags out that day were to honor me. At least that's what my mama told me when I was young. Bless her again.
4. My mama was a hard working woman who took care of seven kids, six girls and one boy from her late husband before I showed up. Boy was I the odd man out until my kid brother showed up.
5. At the age of two, allegedly I was reading regularly. I was taught to sound out the words that I saw and pulled it off well, I'm told.
6. My house was the first on the block to have a color tv, thanks to my dad who was a tv repairman. You don't see those guys anymore.
7. at the age of five we moved from the projects to a beautiful neighborhood in Savanah in 1970. We were the first black family on the block.
8. I never went to kindergarten. I wound up going straight to first grade at age six and enjoyed one more year of freedom.
9. I was never a striaght A student. In fact, I was just a kid with hyperactive tendancies. So, my first grade teacher Mrs. Steel (perfect name for that taskmaster) prescribed drugs for me to calm down in class. I can barely remember most of the first grade and second grade because of it.
10. At the age of seven, I found out that I had the talent to sing. My mama played piano in church and I sang in the youth choir for years.
11. My best friend on the block was a kid named Aaron Campbell. He and his brothers were the coolest guys around.
12. I started to collect comic books when I was 7. I read the devil out of them, as much as my mom hated it.
13. It's kind of her fault. She would buy 'em for me. Bless her one more time.
14. My mom and dad never married, but they lived together for a time while was between relationships.
15. My father was a jerk. The less said, the better.
16. Okay, not really. He was abusive towards my family and did his best to try and muslce up on everyone.
17. In 1975, he and Mama got into a fight on an hot August night and the police showed up. I cried hard that night when he packed his stuff and left. Bust it was for the best for the family that he leave.
18. One year later, he showed up after marrying another woman and told me and my kid brother that he wanted us to come over to his new place and spend the night there. I said no, but Martin wanted to go with him. The next day, Dad filed for custody of him and kept him there for months, away from me and Mama.
19. She battled him in court through Summer, Fall, and most of Winter. That's when I began to change. I started to become introspective. I was never really home much that time because I didn't want to be there and started to roam around and do my own thing. That's how I became the guy I am now.
20. Dad lost the case and Martin came home on a Sunday night in January of 1977. That was also one of the rare times that it ever showed in Savannah.
21. Martin is one of the best friends I ever had. He's still my kid brother, though.
22. Although these days, he treats me like I'm younger than him since he has kids.
23. On June fifth of 1981, after my mama had married and divorced her second husband William Thompson (who was thirty years her senior), we packed out bags and moved to Detroit to find a new life. we moved with my aunt Laverne, her husband Donald and my grandmother Iya. Most of my mother's family moved there from Savannah and lived a wonderful life.
24. We did not. We wound up moving back to Savannah on Valentine's Day, 1982.
25. Because she sold the house to my Aunt Vivian (a contrversy unto itself), we wound up having to move into a two bedroom apartment with my sister Patricia until we could find a new house.
26. We found a house three months later that had room for us all. But then, Mama was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Because of that, Martin and I had to move in with Dad and his new family so not to disturb Mama while she was going through chemo. Bless her.
27. I hated living with my father. I had to sleep in the same bed with my brother at the age of 15. We never slept together ever.
28. He was also still very abusive to me and Martin. He also abused his new wife. But he didn't care. He was rich after conning folks with adjusted repair bills and takign in fenced goods and selling it in the store.
29. On October 21, just a week after her fiftieth birthday, my mama passed away. I didn't cry that night. I said a prayer and hoped she was in a better place.
30. When I was in the ninth grade, my mama came out to see me perform in my high school chorus. She got to hear me perform "The Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie. The only thing on the stage was a Kermit puppet, but you could hear someone singing the song. When it was over, it got a round of applause. When the curtain opened, you could see the puppetteer, who then introduced me as the voice and the applause got louder as I came out. I could see Mama from the stage and I saw tears in her eyes. Her boy did good that night. Real good.
31. When I was twelve, my mama and I had talk about death after a relative had passed. I told her if I were to ever die for her not to go to my funeral. It would hurt her too much. She told me she didn't want me to go to hers as it would do the same thing to me. We made a pact that day after a hug and a "I love you".
32. The day after her death, I decided to go to school and to try to just try to make it a normal day. Everyone thought I was crazy, but I went. Somehow, word got to the school and everyone gave me cards and sympathies. I said my "thank you"s and trudged on though the day. My first class was mixed chorus and my teacher was a woman named Mary Sue Regan. We practiced on our notes at the beginning of class and then we began to work on a new song she wanted us to try: "The Rainbow Connection". Before I could finish the first verse, I began to cry. Soon, the cry became a howl for help as I fell to the floor and began to breakdown. Miss Regan picked me up off the floor and we began to cry together. She held me for as long as she let me and I was a lost youth, losing a mother at her prime. I cried though the entire first period and most of second. After an hour of this, Miss Regan said that the principle knew about what had happened and if I wanted to stay at the school all day and not go to class, I could. So that day, I roamed around the school with a couple of my friends then who kept an eye out on me to make sure I would be okay, Russell Whitney and Danny Starnes. Those guys were wonderful that day.
33. I didn't go to Mama's funeral. But it was big. The church was standing room only, with folks having to stand outside. Maybe it was a god thing I didn't go. She would have missed me with that much of a crowd there. But at least she had a lot of friends. God bless her.
34. To get my mind off of having one parent gone and another a complete jerk, I threw myself into radio as an intern for a local AM station, WSOK. I was part of crew called the Teen TImers and we had our own show from Noon till Two on Saturdays. I was the crazy one. My father hated it becasue I wasn't going to be the jerk that he was when I get older.
35. I wound up graduating from Summer school in 1984 after finding out that becasue of the different curriculum between Savannah and Detriot, I would be short two credits and would have to make them up, which my dad hated becasue he had to pay for the classes. When I finally got to walk up to get my cap and gown, was I given a congrats from the guy since I was his first kid (that he knew of) to graduate? No. We drove right home that night and he looked at me and said, "It's your turn to do the dishes. Get 'em done and take out the trash." Now you see why there's no love between me and the jackass.

You know what? After doing all this, I don't wanna write anymore. I didn't think I would go into my life story here, but as I started writing, it just came out. Why don't we pick this up at another time, where we start out from whne I started college, I get my first real radio job, how I met my ex wife and more crap.

Right now, I just wanna think about Mama. Bless her.

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Friday, October 20, 2006

A Man Named Moose

What pray tell is in a name? Does your name fit you perfectly? Are you proud of your name? Well, today dear reader, I have heard a name said in public I thought I would never hear anywhere. We'll get to it in a sec. For suspense purposes, of course.

When you read a lot of comics as I have, you hear names being used that sound different form the names you hear on the street. You know...guys named Lance. Now fifty years ago, if you knew a guy named Lance, he was a Man's man. Now if you knew a guy named Lance, he's a man's Man. Lance Armstong doesn't count.

I mean names like Clark or Carter. How about Brick? ANybody withthe name of Brick was the right to wallop the living piss out of you. No questions asked, no note from mom. You took a punch in the snoot and LIKED IT. One of those fast talkin' guys from the ganster movies. "Nyyaa see, mugs? That's how we do things around here, see? Nyaaa. Now shut yer yap and gimmie a Mocha Frappachino, lo-fat with cinnamon, see?" If you ever saw that at Starbucks, it would care the Liberal out of you.

So today, I go into work and do the typical (bitch and moan) when I see my co-worker Gena show up. She introdues me to a couple of guys she's leaving with. Now honestly, the first guy I could give two hoots about. But the other guy? Well...

First of all, he seemed like an ordinary guy, nothing special about the guy. He didn't look weird or anything. It was his name that stuck out. The name was Moose.

Holy crap on a popsicle stick.

I know his mama didn't name him that.

How does what get the name Moose? What happened in his life to be named Moose? Did his friends call him Moose? Does his mama call him Moose? Are there little Meeses somewhere?
I had only heard that the name Moose as a myth. There was a kid actor in the Seventies named Moosie I saw all the time and he was a tough kid, for Hollywood standards. And, there's Moose who lived in Riverdale and knew Archie and the gang and always beat the hellout of Reggie for messing with his "gurl" Midge. I never however thought that I would ever meet a guy named Moose. I don't know if women named Midge exists these days either, and if you know of one, let me know.

Anyways, the name just through me is all. If was only a brief meeting, but to this day, I will always remember that if something should ever happen to me, I can always say that I have been on Wheel of Fortune, hung with kings, drank with fools and knew a man named Moose.
I have a blessed life, don't I?

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Monday, October 16, 2006

The Feva Of The Flava

I know you watched "Flava Of Love" last night on VH1. Don't hide it. I publicly admit to seeing the whole series. And let me say, that was the most fun I've had so far this season. Admit it, you knew that New York was nuts. Hell, we knew that from the first season. So why did Flav bring her back this time and dumping her after doing the same thing to her the first go round? Simple (and truthfully): to tap that. Oh yeah, she may have been coo-coo bananas, but she was fine. If you had the chance to be with a hot chick but you knew she was one step away from Mike Tyson crazy, you'd try it too.

I think New York needs her own show now after not getting her own clock. I call it "New York State Of Mind", where N.Y. and her equally crazy ass mama look for the perfect man, only to have her getting dumped in the end and having her lose it in the cab at the end of every episode. I hear VH1 is planning a show like that. I hope to Flav I get to see it.

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Sunday, October 15, 2006

Turn Your Head And Cough, Please

The very first thing that I noticed when I hit 40 years old was that I felt like was slowing down now as I get closer to middle age. The sucky part of that was now folks are saying that forty is now the new thirty. Which means that I now am way behind while the rest of the world has gone ahead. I certainly doesn't help that I have end stage renal failure, high blood pressure and am a stroke victim. At least my cholestorol is 180, which is a good thing. But the other stuff? Yeah, it's a bear.

I am playing it smart these days. I do my best to moderate everything I do these days. I snack, but for the most part it's fruits instead of junk all the time. Don't get me wrong. Once in a while, I'll get a jones for a Dorito or two (Nacho Cheese, natch. I'm not gonna take a chance with that Spicy Habenero) , but I'm better off just grabbing some grapes and sitting back on the couch to watch "Heroes". One new thing I've jumped on is hummus. Oh yeah, that's the bombdiggity these days for me. Particularly any made with roasted red pepper. It's low on fat and calories and can fill you up if munch with pita bread. Twenty, no, ten years ago if you had asked me to try the hummus at your house party, I would have double smacked you like I was George Raft in a original ganster movie. And you'd have liked it.

I also make doctor visits often now. If there's something wrong with me, I will get up and go see someone withthe quickness. Is it me being a hypochondriac? Well, yeah kinda. Blacks are more prone to heart attacks and strokes, plus are the leaders with high blood pressure when you break down race. So I will go see an M.D. fast if I know something isn't right. Of course, it's not just a race thing with me. I know loads of folks who get ill or hurt and just let it go. I knew a guy broke his pinky toe and just let it go. Three days later, he died from a stab wound. Okay, I think those two have nothing to do with each other, but that should tell you to go see a doctor anyhow.

On Friday, I had an appointment to go see digestive doctor Dr. Hathaway due to having some tummy problems. I'm not going to give T.M.I. (or "too much information" as the chat rooms say), but I wasn't doing too well there, dear reader. So, the best suggestion for me according to the Doc was a colonoscopy, which I agreed to. Now, if you're over the age of forty, YOU NEED TO DO THIS. It's a simple thing and it only takes an hour. It's all the stuff that proceeds it that's the hassle. I did this before, back in August of '04, although I barely remember it. Possibly because I knocked out by drugs so they could do it. Trust me...You'll want to take 'em when the realization of a long black camera IS BEING SHOVED UP THROUGH YOU WHILE YOU ARE LAYING ON A TABLE. WITHOUT THE DECENCY OF FLOWERS OR CANDY. YOU HAVE BEEN CASTED IN "OZ".

Now in order for them to...sigh, "do that thing", your body needs to be cleaned of any waste. So, you must take an entire day off work, play, whatever, and drink an entire gallon of product that they prescribe called Nutralyte. It comes in powder form in a plastic bottle and once filled with water, you drink it down, where then the nuclear powered laxatives inside work their magic and flush out anything you may have eaten in the past decade or three. If you swallowed a button as child in 1973, it will come back to haunt you. Remember that time you stole that cake from the community fridge at work? No evidence at all.

Now, Nutralyte comes on four, count them, FOUR WONDERFUL FLAVORS. Crap, Crap, Crap and Tropical Crap. No matter what you say and do, it's awful. Now, doctors say that you can mix it with Crystal Lite and it will help the taste. I'm not a fan of that stuff and mixing it with Nutralyte ain't gonna help it, so I'lll cut it with Tang, throw it in the deep freeze for a hour and just let it chill till ready. No solid foods after I drink it. Nothing but clear liquids and broths until midnight then nothing else. I then call my loved ones to give them my goodbyes, place a tv in front of the bathroom door, then prepare for what could called by my Cherokee ancestry "a dreamquest".

The next day you go in for procedure, which isn't as bad as folks make it sound. First of all, they care about you to give you Vallium and Vercid, which makes you forget about the fact that THEY ARE SHOVING A LONG BLACK CAMERA THROUGH YOUR BODY WITH EVEN THE EFFORT OF TAKING OUT FOR DINNER BEFOREHAND AND NOT EVEN ASKING HOW YOUR DAY AT WORK WAS. Trust me, if you even knew what was going on, you'd be pissed. You just don't wanna know. Just give in.

After an hour or so of them running that thing, it's over. All done. They wheel you out to the recovery room where you wake up in a chair like nothing ever happened. It's like you just woke up from a wild frat party the next day and you did some crazy stuff there, but nobody wants to talk about it. They knew you just wated to have a good time and all, but it got out of control when you started talking about how cool Kim Jong Il is while dancing the Mamoushka with the dog.

The good news of it was when I had it done the fisrt time was they couldn't find anything wrong, which was great. But as I get older, the chance of something happening is greater, so I'm suggesting to everyone over forty, especially men, to get it done. The chances of colon cancer increases as you age, so the best thing to do is get that check up now. Doctors are now able to stop it now before it gets out of hand with regular check ups, but it's up to you to get it done. All jokes aside, I've never felt better about colonoscopy these days because of that. It may be hell to drink down a gallon of liquid lava, but it's better in the long run for you.

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Dancin' Near The Exit


The Republicans have been feelin' it now for a month, what with Mark Foley turning page after page, George Allen realizing that he missed his bar mitzah and just everything else that has to do with politics at this point. Now, Sara Evans, the Dancing With The Stars contestant/d-lister and person that isn't Jerry Springer that had support thanks to Tom DeLay sending out letters to fellow Republicans to vote for her to win quit the show today due to her divorcing her husband and to "to give her family full attention at this difficult time."

Now here's where the rub comes in...

Said husband committed adultery, was verbally and emotionally abusive, drank excessively and frequently watched pornography in their home according to the AP. (Craig) "Schelske, 43, who is currently unemployed, ran for Congress as a Republican from Oregon's 5th District in 2002. In the filing in state court in Franklin, a Nashville suburb where the couple has a home, Evans alleges that Schelske watched pornography on the couples' computers and has at least 100 nude photographs of himself in a state of arousal. "

Damn you, Bill Clinton. Leave the Republicans alone!

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

HA-HA-HA...Animation!

I've been a fan of Stephen Colbert since I first saw him on The Daily Show and his move over to his own program. What most folks don't know is that Colbert is a HUGE NERD. He can acutally quote the history of "The Lord of the Rings". Not the movie, the books. Plus, he's big into animation. He voices both Phil Ken Sebbin and Reducto on "Harvey Birdman" and his own Tek Janson series. So the entries for his Green Screen Challenge, with Colbert wielding a lightsaber in front of a green screen and the viewer having the chance to fill in the blanks, ended last night. The best part of the entire show was the surprise guest near the end. Trust me, there's a million fanboys out there who wished they could get this much truthiness.


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Monday, October 09, 2006

Be The Bad Guy!


So most of you have wondered why have I changed my screename on MySpace to Dreamcrusher? It's simple. Deep down, inside all of this teddy bear stuffing, I SECRETLY WISH TO BE EVIL. Luthor Evil. Dr. Doom Evil. Oprah Evil. The evil to commandeer the world. Why not? You'll be rich, powerful and fun at parties. Here's the facts, taken from The Student Operated Press...


1. You will have more friends. Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Victor Von doom was a rich socialite. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? Everyone wants to get a little piece of the evil. It is like Starburst.


2. You get to laugh maniacally. Good guys don't get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me; this is something everyone wants to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy.


3. All of a sudden, you will have the budget for all kinds of toys. Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. It also seems to be recession-proof. I hear the tax breaks are good too.


4. Hot chicks dig evil guys. You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dude's chicks. Studies don't ever lie.


5. You will be safe from everyday accidents. Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn't happen. You won't slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that no one could ever possibly foresee. Even then…


6. You don't have to worry about anyone killing you. Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination.


7. You can kill anyone you want. You won't go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can't even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.


8. You get to dress how you want. You never have to wear a suit and tie again. You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can't be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magneto's helmet…



9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you. "But zero, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes of a stripper's ass…" None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren't doing something that has been done to death (i.e. goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.


Don't you wanna be a bad guy now? Good. Now get out there and start an uprising!

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Breakin' III-Electric Bollywood

You may have heard about this video, but if you've never seen this clip from the Bollywood movie "Little Superstar", then you will freak your freak out. I'm not sure if this is a kid or a little person (read: midget), but whomever it is, the kid's smoking. Really...He's smoking at the end.

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Sunday, October 08, 2006

Meme, Myself & I

Here it is and according to David, I didin't even know it was Blogtober already! Wow, it seems like they year has just whizzed by, huh? Of course, I was getting ready for Rocktober, but that's now swept under the rug. I'm telling you, the next three months are gonna be busy, what with Nomoreturkeyvember and Dealoutthegiftscember on the horizon.

Anywhoo, I noticed that David had a meme posted. Now, i haven't seen a meme in a while and if you haven't seen one ever, let me explain. A meme is set of questions that someone other than you put together and you must answer and then you choose a group of bloggers to try and asnwer the meme. Simple, although some folks think them as being stupid. Depending on the questions, I think it's kind of fun. So right now, right here, we're gonna do two memes. Here's the first one from David, which he got from another site, who probablly nicked it from somebody else and so forth.
1. SPY NAME: (middle name + current street):Maquieth Duffy (My family normally calls me Marc, so it could be Marc Duffy. Still bad ass.

2. MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/mother + your favorite candy):T-Boy Three Musketeers (truthfully, I never knew my grandfather as he died when I was two. All I remember was he was always called T-Boy. As for the candy bar, I like what I like.

3. GAMER TAG: (favorite color + favorite animal):Blue Monkey

4. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + birthplace):Marquieth Savannah (Woooo, he's a villian, I'll bet.

5. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet + street you grew up on):Pluto Price

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The”, favorite color, car your dad drives):The Blue Coup Deville

7. ACTION HERO NAME: (name of character in last film you watched, last food you ate):Madea Sausage Bisquit.

WHAT?! I ate it, you didn't. Don't you judge me.


Time now for other meme by David. Actually it's Dave Hewitt, who...Well, you'll see.

Sam,
I wrote my first meme. Can you be the first to post it on your blog.I hope you are well,
Dave.

First Dave, let's go back to the instructions on how to work a meme. It really does help that you have a blog of your own to start off with. Second, You can't just start it up without answering it yourself, which you didnot do when you sent it via email. However, being that I'm a nice sunuvagun and all today, I'm gonna answer it.

Heh-heh-heh-heh...
Dave's Meme. By Dave Hewitt (Well, it's is his first meme and all...)

Name a famous Dave.(The dead Wendy's guy)

How many David's were in your class? (Dude, I haven't been in school in twenty two years. You think I'm gonna remember a Dave?

Name a David who insists on being called David. (That one guy from the Bible)

Who's your closest relative named Dave. (None, but I have a cousin named Donishia. That don't count, though.)

Name a Davey. (There are only three Daveys known to man. Two have the last name of Jones and the other hangs with a clay dog.)

Name a TV character named Dave. (Dave Hartman who used to host Good Mornign America. He was a character!)

List a Dave you wish would die. (Please don't make me wish that. Why would you even ask a whacked out question like that?)

Who is your closest friend named Dave? (Although we aren't close, I consider YOU Dave, somebody I know from the blog.)

Thank you for filling this out. Now email a Dave (Great. So simply, you'll be the only Dave getting this back and I'll send this to David who is not Dave since these are the Daves I know.)

So will I pass these memes along to anybody? Nope. If you wanna do 'em, go for it but you are on your own on this one. The last thing I wanna be accused of is causing pain and suffering.

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Friday, October 06, 2006

Popeye Was A LIAR!


First let me say that I am alive, thank the stars. If you didn't hear the post below, I ordered the spinach dip for a restaurant on Wednesday, only to forget the whole e-coli thing going on. Truthfully, I didn't sleep a wink that night worried about the fact that I could have eaten tainted spinach, which I had only began to return to after banishing it as a child. Wasn't the reason kids don't eat spinach is it's yuck anyways? And now it wants to kill you?

Now that I'm older, I've done my best to eat healthy, especially in my condition. I do my best to eat as much fruits and vegetables as I can, but this has me freaked. The self same food that's supposed to give me all the iron I need is now on a vengance. Is this for all the years of feeding you to the dog when mom wasn't looking? Was it for that one time when we blindly rooted for Brutus to pimp slap Popeye to Mars? What did we ever do to spinach?

I'll still eat my leafy greens. I'll enjoy my salads, my cole slaw, my collard and mustard greens (by the way, that's a Southern thing. If you've never had collard or mustard greens, you really don't know what you're missing. Watch Paula Deen's show and see if you don't drool out of the side of your mouth when she cooks it). However, I am once again done with spinach and this time for good. You lied to me, spinach leaf. You told me you were full of antioxidants and now you kill. Damn you, spinach. Damn you to Hell.

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Little Known Whitney Houston Facts

Okay, I got a post for you now. I'm kind of borrowing this one however from The Sam Proclivity (which you should join, whether you're a Sam or not), which should be okay, since helped to put it together and it is funny. .I am Whitney Houston. You are Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston is our psyche's way of expressing our disatisfaction with life.
.Whitney Houston's jaw dislocates in 7 places when she goes for a high note.
.Whitney Houston holds the record for the longest sustained annoyance in popular music.
.Whitney Houston was the inspiration for the famous game Rock Star Ate My Hamster because she did actually eat a hamster once, with fries.
.Whitney means 'From the white island'.
.Whitney Houston has the power of God. Her octave range has the same force as Moses was given. She even killed the first born on a sunny Tuesday in Burbank rehearsing for The Arseneo Hall Show.
.Whitney began doing drugs after realizing that with great power comes great responsibility. She couldn't handle the strain.
.The entire Star Wars saga is based on her life, including her turn into Darth Whitney.
.It was not Bobby Brown who introduced her to drugs, as orginally thought. It was actually Tito Jackson when she asked for a Tic Tac and was slipped a Ruffie instead.
.Before Bobby, she had a long relationship with The Count fron Sesame Street. It ended in sadness when Whitney found The Count in a three way with two of the Pussycats.
.Whitney Houston was not born as humans are. She is actually a sonic construct that arose when high note from Patti LaBelle crossed with Dusty Spingfield during a summer concert.
.Whitney Houston's name IS Whitney Houston.

Yes, I know I took her off the skank list, but I just couldn't help it. It's the Red Bull talking.

Friends, How Many Of Us Have Them?

First, it's hard to come up with a new post if you've been up since yesterday and trying to stay awake at work, but I'm gonna try. Bear with me on this one here, gang...

See those links on the left side of your screen? Under the title "Stars After Stars After Stars"? Well, those are some of my favorite sites. I still have a few more that I'll add, but I'll do it in time. Nonetheless, I try to visit them all as much as I possibly can these days, being more and more difficult with out internet service at home, but I do my best. Now, some of these guys link to me here, some of 'em don't, but I don't care. I enjoy 'em anyways as they entertain me. So, here's what I'd like you to do for me. Click on one of those links. Check them out. If you haven't visited any of them before, please do so. As for said links and the good folks who work on them, I just want to say thanks again for putting a smile on my face whenever I stop by. You're good people.

Now, on to that third cup of coffee. I hope my kidneys hold up after it.