Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Friday, June 30, 2006


From an online quiz I took a couple of years ago...

"You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal." And The Phoenix's cycle had reachedzenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He emerged from his own ashes, to be forever immortal."Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum(Egyptian).The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,the number 0, and the element of fire. His sign is the eclipsed sun.As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optomism, even through tough times and have apositive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily."

Here's the truth...I've been taken out of the game due to way to many problems going on right now, more personal than physical this time. I've jumped a lot of hurdles the past few months, but this one is devistating. So, for the time being, I won't be posting for a good while. Believe me, I'd have jumped all over The View Wars the moment I heard about Star leaving and actually that was the best news I heard all week (not that I watch, mind you). But right now, I have a major situation that's gonna take some time to work out. But, never fear. I do hope to keep up with The Real Sam Johnson Radio Show podcasts as much as I can, time permitting. Please support the sites in the blogroll for me and bookmark my site and keep checking back in often, as you may never know when I may sneak onto someone's PC or laptop and see howe you're doing or drop a cartoon on you. Oh, and send me an email once in awhile. It wouldn't hurt you to do that.

What I'm trying to say without crying is I'm gonna miss you guys while I'm gone. You all know how I feel about you. But don't worry. Like the Phoenix of old, I shall arise. That is a promise.

Keep your noses clean till I get back, okay?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

The Real Sam Johnson Radio Show II-Electric Boogaloo


The second edition or The RSJSRS is now up and ready to rock. I've got some cool tunes from Matthew Sweet, Eric B. and Rakim, The Young Rascals, Pizzacato Five and more. Plus, what do these two have to do with the show? You'll have to listen in to find out by just downloading here.

While I'm here, I may as well get this out of the way, as I don't have the internet at the house right now, the car is acting up and I have no clue if I'm gonna be able to make it back and forth to work, nonetheless dialysis. We're coming up on our third anniversary on the 29th this month here and I just wanted to say "thanks" once again to all of you for coming around. I've already sucked up enough this month and I kinda think that once is enough. But not enough to say that you guys have been great. So, stay tuned...Hopefully the best is yet to come.

MONKEY DOWN SUNDAY!

Thanks to the enterprising Dave Hewitt, we finally have a link to a bit from the "Steve Harvey Morning Show" about monkeys, but not quite the infamous "Monkey Down" bit. Still, this is a good piece and a great example of the humor of the show. As I've said before, I've recorded the bit myself, but I don't feel like getting a a ceace and desist order right now. But, if anyone does put it online, I'll link to it. Hopefully, Steve will. I do have to admit, I have bit of professional jealousy over the whole thing, but then again this is why the man is a "King of Comedy" and I'm just a Serf.

Friday, June 23, 2006

The internet is a fickle mistress...

I found out why my WiFi isn't working, which is totally beyond my control, so until further notice, it looks like I'll have to post here from the job, which kinda sucks. NO, really sucks. Do you all know how fast I wanted to jump on that Connie Chung story? The NBA Championships? Plus, the computers here are so old, their data reads 1011100110001001. Ok, only programmers will get that joke, I just feel it.

The good news is I'll be working on a new Real Sam Johnson Radio show this weekend and I'll make up for stuff I haven't had a chance to talk about here, plus some hot music. Just to warn you...The show could wind up nearly an hour this time with all the stuff I've got. We're talking Superman, stripper names, Pizzacato Five, Jonny Quest, Crap Mail, and what happended during my surgery. That's just some of the stuff you'll hear, as a warning. Plus, an appearance from Mongo The Friendly Drelb. Okay, that was a Laugh In reference right there, but you get the point. It'll be a freewheeling fun time, so I hope you'll check it out next week.

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

SAM 1,000!

Okay, here we go. My 1,000th post. Let's see, what are we to talk about today? Something signifigant to show how much has improved around here. Hmmm...Well, there's, ummm..

Okay, give me a moment.


Crap. I got nothing. Wait, I got something. Hold on...

lalalala...I knew I put it around here somewhere. OOOOOH, a salami sandwich.

Wait...how'd that photo of a naked Kate Bosworth get there?

Okay, here we go. I've been getting alot of Google hits lately for "Monkey Down", a bit that Steve Harvey did on his morning show last week. In case you missed it, it ran again this morning and it was just as funny the first time. As for them posting the bit to their site, it's a wait and see thing and I'll link to it as soon as I find out. I actually recorded it here in the studio for station use, but I won't be able to add it to my own Real Sam Johnson Radio Show podcast this week, as I don't have the licence to air it. I think that Steve and his gang know just how popular the bit it, so expect it to pop up somewhere soon.

Okay, so that should do it for that. Look, I'm modest enough as it is, alright? Just thanks to everybody for reading and maybe we can get another thousand outta me. If we got anything out of this post today, the searches for "Monkey Down" and "naked Kate Bosworth" oughta run the hit counter crazy.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I Am Viral

I've made it to You Tube. Kinda.

I got some cool thing on my birthday this year, but this was the most interesting and it's from my friend Karen in Australia. The cool thing of it is the kids at the end. It just looks like they started the the fine Aussie rule of having a brew before breakfast. I love it. Thanks, gang.



So tomorrow comes my 1,000th post. Wow. I never knew I'd get this far. What will I talk about then? You'll just have to come in and see.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Daddy Day!

First up, it was a toss up between posting Andy and Opie or James and J.J. Evans today, but I couldn't find any of the latter online. Oh well, we'll still "good times" today. get it? I thought not...
The WiFi is still down at my place, so I'm still having to take care of the site here at work, which is fine. I just hate the fact that I gotta get to the job to check my mail and all. To which, I have to thank those who sent greetings and all on my birthday, which was sorely needed after surgery. Just to let you know, as I was givne Versid and the gas was being pumped into the mask, I started singing "Happy Birthday To Me" and I swear I heard the nurses singing along a sI was going out like a light. I think I picked up the second verse as I was coming out of it, but I can't really remember. I won't bore you with the details as most of you know exactly how I felt about having surgery on your birthday. You got it...Somebody with a medical degree is getting their ass kicked for that just as soon as I heal up.

As for the podcast, thanks to those who downloaded a copy. I plan on doing a new show every two weeks, so expect one next week sometime. Some of you...Okay, The Retropolitan thought that I should talk more or my voice was an octave deeper. Well, Retro (Can I call Retro? Maybe Poli?), if I had a proper sidekick (see "Mr. Radio" for more d-tails, True Believers!) then I could se myself yakking it up more. But, I come from radio, where we have an acronym we use constantly called K.I.S.S.:
Keep
It
Short
and
Simple.
I purposly don't listen to other podcasts for the simple fact that almost all of them have never been in radio. Not to say thay they are frustated folks who wanted to get into radio or anything, but they have an idea of what they think they would sound like if they had a real terrestial radio show. I have mine. It's okay for me to read a letter or do a bit or an intro to a tune, but that's it. I'd rather do mostly music on my show, because I really have nothing important to say otherwise. As for thinking my voice shoulod have been a bit deeper, it was up unitl a few years ago until the FCC came along and made those changes. I haven't seen my nads since Janet flashed the Super Bowl. I miss them so...

There is a lot of stuff I'll talk about on the next show however, I will promise you that. I got some more Crap Mail that I can't wait to read to you or if yo have any suggestions before I head into the studio next Sunday, drop me an email here. I so wish I was doing it now. Finding out that Spider-Man has outed himself has me upset right now. And, it wasn't in a Brokeback Superhero way, either. Oh well, have a great Baby Daddy Day and I hope you all got power tools.

Friday, June 16, 2006

The Real Sam Johnson Radio Show is on the air, Straighshooters!

In case you missed it in the post below, here's the link...

The Real Sam Johnson Radio Show. MP3

To get it, just right click on your mouse and hit "save as" for your drive or just hit open and let it play. Then, sit back and let me do the work for a bit. I'm taking a day or show off to recuperate after surgery, plus the web is down at my house. I'll be back on Sunday with more goofiness.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Neverending Battle

Looks as though my birthday plans have been made for me. It turns out that I'll be going back to the hospital again on Wednesday due to a new blood clot in my new graft, which could mean I'll have to have yet another catheter. When I went to dialysis today, the nurses couldn't hear a flow in the graft with a stethescope, so they wound up calling the doctor who recomended that I return to the hospital so I can dialyise properly again. I then became pissed off, and cried after that.

Of all the days for this to happen, this is the very worse. I just wanted to enjoy this milestone but now I'll be cut open again for the seventh time this year and I'm sick of it. But, I don't have a choice in the matter. Anyway, I'm just really pissed off. There was so much I wanted to do, but that's now over.

Whye I wrote that earlier today , I was and am still pretty upset. I mean, wouldn't you be if it were you. But I know that I have to keep moving. I have to if I want to live. I have to keep on fighting. I had planned to write up a whole thing about fighting the battle for my birthday tomorrow, but I won't have the chance, so I may as well do it now.

Ever since 2002 that I found out that I had kideny failure, I had to learn to keep on going. I had just had the stroke moths before and thought it couldn't get any worse and then it did. For the longest time, I was going thru a deep depression that came close to taking my own life. But somehow I learned that if you just keep at it, no matter what the obsticle, you can come though it. I've been fighting everyday since then to survive. There are days like today when all I want to do is just fade away. But, I'm too much of a damn fighter to go down like that. I have had some crap days, but somewhere there's an angel looking over my shoulder telling me, "It's okay. You can do this. Please don't give up." I still haven't.

There are too many folks out there the same as me. There's Mellisa Etheridge. There was Richard Pryor and Chris Reeve. There was a little boy I knew named Jacob Brower who went to the hospital everyday almost with cancer and did hid damndest to fight it, but lost this year at the age of seven. Of everyone I ever knew , Jake was the strongest. From that point on, he made me tougher. He showed me never to give up.

Maybe you're a fighter. I don't know. But if you are, please never give up on what you want. I'm happy to have made it to forty and I hope to make it another fifty, maybe sixty years. It's why I have a Superman tattoo on my arm. It reminds me that EVERYTHING is a neverending battle and you can't give up. There are days where I hate to be alone, but sometimes that what it takes to get the job done. It's bullcrap sometimes, but somebody has to do it. So, keep on doing it. Keep the faith. DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT.

Speaking of never giving up, here's the podcast, finally. For right now, you have to download it here. Just right click your mouse and save it to your computer. You won't have to have an Ipod to enjoy it. I just hope however that you do. I'll see you guys when I get back, hopefully in better condition. Keep your nose clean until I get back. Be good.

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Almost Done....

Okay, so the Podcast is ready for listening. I'm happy with the way it all turned out, but I have one little problem that maybe one of you can help me out with. I've been trying to upload it to a couple of webhosts like Geocities and Bravenet, but either it says that there's no data or it just won't load at all. Mind you, I know that the MP3 is there, but it won't show. If anyone out there has any clue about what I should do, please let me know soon. Thanks.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Mr. Radio

I've honestly very busy at the radio stations the past week, and will continue to do so till further notice. It's not a bad thing since it's gonna pay the bills for one and it keeps me active for the other, so I'm happy about that. But, I do have other responsibilites, i.e. taking care of this blog. So, I decided to do something I should have done months ago. I'm gonna finally finish up that podcast.

You may have remembered a few months back that I was going into the studio with a freind to work on what would have been the first show. For the record, let me say that it sucked. My friend Sam Diamond was supposed to edit the show down so it would be web ready, but never got back to me on it. That just told me that too many Sams spoil the soup, so I was gonna have to do it myself (Sorry, Sam. You're a good man, but this is a dream I've had for a long time and I gotta see it through.) I made an attempt of it here at home by downloading a program called Audacity where I could record the show on my laptop and upload it from there, but it didn't feel the same as it would if I were in my element. So tomorrow, I'm going off into the production suite of the station and will FINALLY put down the very first "Real Sam Johnson Radio Show" (thought you'd never see that name again, didya?). It'll be filled with some very ecclectic music, theme songs from tv shows, and chat from me. I hope to have it up by my birthday this Wednesday and you'll give it a listen. Mind you, I'll be doing it around 8 in the morning, so I'll either sound very tired or very sexy, as I have a really great morning voice. Tell your friends.

UPDATE Well, it's done and I'm tired. I started on it around 7 in the morning on Sunday and finished around 12 noon after uploading it to an ftp site. I'll have it on Yahoo, ITunes and other places around Wednesday. Just a warning...I don't know the length of most podcast, but mine is clocking in at nearly forty minutes. But, it's forty minutes of fun and I hope you'll like it.

Friday, June 09, 2006

The King Of Comedy

Okay, so here's what I was supposed to talk about earlier today, but was too busy to do so. For the next few weeks, I've been at work very, VERY early in the morning running the local feed for The Steve Harvey Morning Show. I'm not really a morning person, but I've run my fair share of a.m. shows, plus if you've ever seen the man in action, other than his first tv show (which watered the man down a bit), he's one of the funniest guys around. On Monday morning during my very first show, Steve and his sidekick "Nephew Tommy" did a bit called "Monkey Down", a hilarious version of a true story where a monkey was attacked and eaten after harrasing bears at a zoo. The bit was improved, but it had me laughing hard at 7 in the morning, which NEVER happens. So, if the show is on in your city, give it a try. It's not shock radio and for most of you, it's a little different. But give Steve Harvey a try. I promise you'll go to work with a smile.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I Was Only Kidding...

I've been busy as of late and haven't had the chance to post. I'll tell you why on Friday. But, while I have the chance, I did find out that Weird Al Yankovic is back after being away for a while, either taking time off or waiting for the perfect song to parody. He's got one with "You're Pitiful", wich is a take on "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. I thought the original was okay, but Al takes it over the top as usual. The cool thing of it all is that you can download the MP3 for free here, here, here, here, or at Al's own site. Hopefully, the video for Al's version won't follow Blunt's vision. I'm not sure I wanna see Al naked jumping off a cliff.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Can't Get Enough Of That Sugar Bear

It looks as though the coast is clear now. The world hasn't blown up up or anything after 6/6/06, so I think we can have some fun now.
So, does anyone remember the box that this bear is holding? For anyone under the age of 30, that is a box of Post Super Sugar Crisps, and the bear is Sugar Bear, who could take Tony the Tiger out with one punch, in my opinon. To me, he was one of the coolest spokesanimals on tv. His laid back attitude sold the cereal for me and millions of others with his adventures. The cereal wasn't that bad either, as early ads touted, "For breakfast, it's dandy! And for lunch, you can eat it like candy!" However, parents started getting upset that kids were being filled with sugar laced foods for the first meal of the day and turned their kids into Tazmainian Devils for the rest of the day and so, the word "Sugar" was taked out of the cereal and Sugar Bear stopped being in commercials around the mid-nineties, only to be shown emasculated on the box. Here's my thing: it is what it is. No matter how you say it, it's always gonna be "Super SUGAR Crisps" to me.

After reading Mark Evanier's post (pun intended) on Sugar Bear's fellow cereal mates from General Foods, I decided (and I hope, really hope that Mark doesn't mind) to sort of do a companion piece. S.B. was featured on the animated series Linus the Lionhearted in 1964, along with other Post mascots. S.B. was voiced (and maybe still somewhere) by Gerry Matthews, who gave the super strong bear the laid back voice of Dean Martin, which is another plus for me. S.B. wasn't chasing after the ceral in the show, as that was for the commercials. However, we was always helping his friend Granny Goodwitch, played by Ruth Buzzi, who was also featured in the ads and his girlfriend, Leslie. Now that's actually cool. I thought her name would have been Honey Bear or something.

I've never really seen an episode of "Linus" and hope that they come to DVD one day, but today I finally see what the show was about. Here's Dino, errr, Sugar Bear in an episode called "Head Over Heels" that shows you just how badass he really was without ever having to touch Sugar Crisps. Or as they call it today, Golden Crisps. Uggggh.

Mark Of The Beast

Okay, so today is supposed to be The Worst Day In All Mankind, at least for this century. You know, plague, pestilence, all that. The Enemy is supposed to show his face to all mankind and dawn an era. In other words, the remake of "The Omen" theaters with the best publicity in the world. Too bad I ain't gonna see it. In fact, too bad if anybody sees it after all the bad reviews I've heard about this.

Look, if you have to fear anything on this day, then fear this... Paris Hilton has a new single that's playing on a radio near you. EVERYBODY PANIC.

Friday, June 02, 2006

He's Calling On You, Pat.

This just in. Pat Robertson's Learjet crashes in Long Island Sound. Robertson was not on board, but the two pilots were killed. You can read more about it here, but I heard he got a note from High Above...

"Okay, Pat. That was just a warning shot. Now, lay off.
Signed,
You Know Who."

Get Fit With Sam!

I know you may be tired of me hitting forty as much as I dread it, but in my little medical situation, I really should be happy that I've made it this far. The big problem I have about hitting 4-0 is keeping the load I know as my gut. Plus, with kidney problems, it's really not healthy to have on too much weight. I've actually lost about 10 pounds in the past two months, thanks in part to cutting back on eating (i.e. too broke to eat out) , but it's time to lose more. So, I got the key from my landlady to the excersice room she's been promising me for months and today I worked out on the one piece of equipment that was actually working or in good condition: The Ab Lounge II.

I know you've seen the infomercials on it. Somebody you know may own one already. If you haven't tried one of these things out, you should. My aunt had something like this years ago when I was a kid and I thought it was a pretty cool toy. If I had known that it was supposed to get your abdominal muscles in shape, I would be in the NFL by now. Instead, I'm making up for not becoming the linebacker I should have been.

I got on the machine like I would a lounge chair (That was simple. Just pretend that I'm sitting in a cheap beach chair), then grab the strap in back, placed my feet on the hooks and leaned back and forth. I can say, I didn't want to quit. I wound up on that thing for fifteen minutes and my guts hurt. Actually, I felt the burn they talk about in the gyms and it's a mutha. I did what must have been about five sets of ten, which is like fifty sit-ups. You couldn't get me to do 2 and a half with a hundred dollar bill sitting in front of me. But, I did it and I'm glad.

After that, I decided that this is the work out for me. Just like the ad says, do fifiteen minutes a day, three times a week, and I'll have rock hard abs before I know it. I kinda like the sound of that. Finally being able to have a body to wear all those Superman t-shirts. I can't wait to show off my torso when I'm done. WHOO-HOO!

Speaking of losing the poundage, big shout out to Mark, who went in last week for a Gastric Bypass operation. While I'm not going through the same work out as he is, having too much weight is a serious thing people fight everyday. I hope that when it's all said and done we both and hopefully YOU, if you're going thru the same struggle, get to see the people that we really should be.

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