"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Monday, September 04, 2006

An Open Letter To Dane Cook

I wrote this a few days ago to all my My Space freinds and I wanted share share it with you guys. See if you don't agree...

Dear Dane,

As you may have noticed, or the guy workig your My Space page has noticed, you are on my Friends list. You were one of the very first people I put on the list. I noticed that you have alot of friends yourself and good for you. However, I'm getting cluttered with adding folks I really don't know or who really don't repond personally, so I'm cleaning house soon. You, Dane Cook, shall be the first.

See, I saw "Tourgasm". It was the first time I've actually seen you do your stand up act and I wasn't impressed. It maybe because it just showed brief clips of your performance. Maybe it was because you acted like a puss when you lost in the go cart race. I dunno, but I felt underwelmed. I felt used and dirty.

But now I see that this Tuesday, you have a new special on HBO called "The Vicious Circle" where you do your act in the round. Now me, I love stand up. Pryor, Carlin, Williams, Kinnison...Only the best. And they've had specials on HBO. So, I have high hopes for you, Dane. I want you to succeed. A nearly two hour comedy concert is a huge undertaking for televison. That's why I want you to kick me in the side of my ass with stand up. Hard, with steel toed boots. Make me laugh, Dane.

If not, then I'm gonna drop you like a tranny whore off of a Holday Inn rooftop. Then, your pay for my cable for three months for having me sit through it. Get to editing. You have less than 72 hours.

Thanks for your time,
Sam Johnson
The Dreamcrusher


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