Sam-a-rama!

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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Lordy, Lordy. Look Who'll Be Forty

Back in the sixties, Mick Jagger said that he's never trust anyone over thirty. Then, he turned forty and stop trusting himself. I'm getting ready to go down that road in three weeks and I have been worried that I'm gonna do something sneaky to me.

I don't know about the rest of you, but forty is something that I've dreaded since I was a kid. Whenever I heard that someone turned forty, it meant that their life was over with.No more excitement, no more fun, no more enjoying things. Just nothing but bitching and complaining and telling kids to get off their lawn. But, I hear that forty is now the new thirty. I don't want to go back to my thirties. When I was thirty, I was in a bad marrige and working sucky hours. Why can forty be like the new single digits? No bills, no responsibilties and cartoons all day? That would be easier.

Plus, my birthday falls on a Wednesday. The middle of the week. HUMP DAY. Who has a birthday on a Wednesday? Everyone's too busy to do something that day. I won't be able to go out and have fun that day because at ten p.m., everyone's gotta go home and go to bed so they can get up for work in the morning. No real throw down parties, no drunken masses, no nothing. Plus, since I can't drink, I'm gonna be a monkey on a rock. This sucks.

I want to enjoy this forty. I mean, the fact that I'll have made it this far should be worth a blowout, don't you think? I should have a party to end all parties. One to make the neighbors say that their gonna call the cops because they weren't invited and it's too loud. I haave the feeling that it's gonna be just me and a cupcake. That's it. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to scrape up some bucks to go out and get a cheap steak from Golden Corral.

This is really gonna be the most anti-climatic fortieth birhtday ever. I just know it.

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