Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Suri With The Fringe For A Daddy

I'm in a stand up mood today, so ladies and gentlemen give it up for Sam Johnson!

Thank you, thank you. So, let's see who gets it today...

Katie Holmes has given birth finally to Tom Cruise's kid. At least we think it's Tom's. I still hold true that it's Dawson's. Or, maybe Batman's.

Did you see the Primetime Live interview? He's joking about eating the placenta. For that, he should be beat down. Then, jumped on like he was on Oprah's couch. Plus, he's acting like a hotshot flying that plane called "Kiss Me, Kate". I'll bet that was the first time he's ever been inside of ANY Kate.

So, the baby is named Suri. Which I think is short for "Man, your old man Suri crazy".

What is up with that name? Did he seventh level tell him to get that? Did he roll a D-20 and it came up? (That one was for Dungeon and Dragon fans.)

Did you know at the same time Suri was born, Brooke Sheilds was just doors away at the same hospital giving birth to her child? Wouldn't it be funny if there was a mix up when the babies get to go home? Brooke notices her shild's eyes starting to glow and screaming about the Theaten threat? Or when the kid starts jumping on furniture early?

Let's hope it does't get mixed up with Britney's kid. It may drive themself to day care.

Also in the news, after Bush's chief of staff tells the crew if you're gonna leave you better do it now, press secretary Scott McClellan resigns. It turns out the reason everybody's leaving is Cheney's on a shooting spree.

The White House is reminding me more and more of a shinking ship, where the rats are the first to leave.

Don Rumsfeld was asked by generals to leave his job, but Bush needs him around since he's the only one there strong enough to open the pickle jar.

Micheal Jackson has signed on to a new record label. His new album will be released on Crazy Ass Me Records.

Finally, The Phoenix has come out with a list of the 100 unsexiest men today. Once again, I didn't make that list, either.

Hey, you've been a great bunch. Git 'R Done!

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