Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Here She Is...Miss RSJS!


For those of you too lazy to click links, The Redneck Diva has won The Miss RSJS! If she is unable to fufill her duties, then the Second runner-up will hold the title. I think Kristin will do a good job however doing her reign with the title. Plus, she baking me cookies. I like chocolate chip-raisin. Two dozen, please. An email address will be sent shortly to you, Diva. By the way, If you haven't gone there as of late, you have to check out the update in her site. It looks fantastic!

As for the contest...Why do I do such things? Because it's fun. And also, because I don't feel like talking about personal stuff too much these days, which I feel bad about, especially since I need to get back into fundraising for my kidney transplant. So while I have all the new readers here and some of the older ones, if you would like to make a contribuition, I would really like it and every little bit would help. Just go here to the National Transplant Assitance Fund to find out more. Thank you again for voting and thanks in advance for your donation.

We Got Us A Miss RSJS!

Wanna find out who won? Head over to the other site now and be surprized. I'll talk about the whole thing here later today. Right now, I got a radio show to do.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The Winner Is...

Going to be announced on Sunday, 2pm e.s.t. I had planned on doing it tonight, but I need a break from the computer today to clean up house. So, on the Miss RSJS site, we will announce the winner then. I can't wait to see how that'll turn out. Stay chilled, my friends. Soon, you will all know who is the fairest of the blogs...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Blackstone Rising

Okay...For those of you who didn't click the link below, I'll just tell you. I've sold my soul to ROCK AND ROLL.

Yep, I've gone rock. I npw have a radio gig on WIXV here in Savannah! My first show will be next Saturday night from 6pm until 10pm, e.s.t.. It kinda sucks that you're not able to stream radio stations anymore, otherwise everyone can hear me jam. Don't worry...I'll do a audioblog on that day for everyone. Now, for those of you wondering: Yes, I'll still be doing my show for WEAS on Sundays from Noon until four, playing hip-hop AND r&B. Both radio stations are owned by Cumulus Broadcasting, so I'm just walking from one room to another. However, I can only be Sam Johnson in one place. This is why it's good to know how to use a secret identity. So, when I'm on I-95 (WIXV's nickname), I shall become a totally different person. Remember, YOU will know me as The Real Sam Johnson

from this day forth, all will soon know me as The Man Codenamed: BLACKSTONE!


Notice when I take the glasses off, I look real different? Total goofball to hardrockin', two-fisted man of action? See, I told you that whole Clark Kent thing is true. Now, remember, this is our little secret. Not a word to anyone, Mmmkay?

If You Smell What The Rock Is Cookin'!

I have been holding off from this announcement for a few days, waiting to confirm it, but now I can. After all, I did say it's a Sam Johnson like you've never seen before. However I will say, just click here and get ready for a big surprize. As for details...I'll tell ya later.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Time For The Finals!

I would seem more exited about this, but I had dialysis today and I'm kinda tired. So, the poll for the finals of Miss RSJS are below. You can vote until 7/30. Vote as often as you can and you can go to the other site to make your voice be heard. So have fun everyone! Remember, only one can be Miss RSJS!

Monday, July 25, 2005

A Georgian in Montana

Once again, I've being honored for something I don't deserve. I have been asked to write for The Rascal Fair.

Now, for those you you who don't know what that is, it's a little thing for bloggers from the Big Sky state of Montana, where they show off their best posts from their sites. Each blog from Montana hosts the Fair biweekly, collecting the best posts of the week from others. A much better explanation can be found from Craig at MT Politics. I was asked by Karen from KarbonKountyMoos if I wouldn't mind coming up with an orignal piece that I could contribute, since I've been doing the Miss RSJS. By thew way, since Karen is in the top five, my being in the Rascal Fair has nothing to do with it. So, with that out of the way, I give to you a little thing I call, "A Georgian in Montana". Enjoy...


When I was given the opportunity to enter a piece for The Rascal Fair, I asked myself, "What shall I write about? No one wants to hear about my comic book collection, the fact that I collect old tv ads from the fifties, or am a complete nerd. Folks from Montana want to hear about something exciting, something thrilling! Something that will make them follow along with every word, every punctuation. I shall talk about MONTANA!"

Okay, so for the most part, everyone from MT knows about MT (truthfully, I never really knew the abbrivation for MT until I started blogging), but there are others who don't, including me. Now, I've been called an honorary citizen by many of the state, but I don't even know the state song, it's bird, what the govnenor's name is...All I know it John Wayne used to go there alot in his movies, even though they were shot in Califorina mostly, and that Chevy has a truck named after the state. That's it. So, I decided to search the web and find some things out about Montana and share with you what I know about Georgia. After all, I will probably have to live there soon, as I have more friends there it seems than I do here Georgia (Three and one just moved. Not to Montana, sadly).

The first thing I did was go to Montana's official web site and got a hearty welcome from Governor Brian Schweitzer. He seems like a nice kinda fellow, which is unlike some govenors who look like they could sell you a used refrigerator. Georgia's govenor is named Sonny Perdue. That name alone tells you the man is up to no good at all. On Gov. Schweitzer's welcome it says, "It is an honor to govern a state recognized world-wide for its pristine rivers, majestic mountains and wide-open spaces." Sonny says, "Hey y'all, we gonna go out in the back yard an' do us up a low country boil. It's too durn hot in that office to be bothered with nothin'." Right there, it shows that Brian cares about his state.

I then read about some of historical facts about MT. After Lewis and Clark made their way thru the state during their expedition, it was recognized as a livable and viable country. Georgia meanwhile was thought to be a place where they could drop off prisoners aand and bad children before the Revolutionary War. Those prisoners would wound up becoming rednecks, good ol' boys bad country music singers and the Dukes Of Hazzard. Advantage: Montana.

Montana also has a beautiful state bird called the Western Meadowlark, while we here in Georgia just have a bird we call "Cooter". It's no particular type of bird at all. It's just a crazy rooster with only one wing somebody found years ago after the loony thing chased after the guy's car down a dirt road. Ever since then, when ever a Georgian sees a bird, we just look at it and say, "Hey, look at that crazy Cooter!" By the way, we call chicken here KFC, alive or fried.

There are so many differences about Montanans and Georgians. But, I know that we both share love of our states. I hope to one day visit Flathead Lake or to lay out on the grassy hills and watch the stars under the Big Sky at Yellowstone. I know that I'll be able to hang out with the many friends of Montana that I've made over the years and be treated with like I've lived there forever. At the same time, if any from Montana deems it safe to come to Georgia, I shall be glad to show them the spot where Burt Reynolds killed Jerry Reed in "Gator" and that spot where somebody thought they found a meteor rock, but it turned out to be a dropping from an 747.

So there you have it. Now honestly, most of the stuff I told you about Georgia is true. Okay, that stuff about the Cooter is kinda true. I love Georgia, I do. When I walk down the the streets here of Savannah, I feel a sense of history here that's still alive. The food, the folks, the buildings, it's all wonderful. Just the same as you Montanans feel about Montana. Everyone I know who lives there tells me that it's peacefull, friendly and one of the bests states to live in and that I'd be welcome with open arms anytime. I can't wait to finally meet my online friends there and enjoy all there is about Big Sky Country.

I just hope that y'all don't mind if I bring along some grits and hush puppys. I do have to have something from home.

Okay, Voting's Over.

Here's the top five, after looking at the stats fro both sites.I gotta be honest, I nevwer thought I've get this many folks to show up. We had over 350 votes all together, it seems. So, the five finalist are...

















Penda













April








Kristin









Karen














Pandora


















To all the nominees, thank you all for the fun. I did this for sheer heck of it all and I'm glad I did, and I hope I made a few friends out of this. Now it's time for the really fun part. Why do you think these five women are great? Let us know in the comments. If you never read them before, do it now. Because we vote on the winner Wednesday night starting at midnight, e.s.t. . Oh, and be nice in the comments about all of them..No mudslinging.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Keep On Votin'...

You got one more day to do it, then we pick the five. Plus, in the next pozst tomorrow night, I'm goin' street on ya. Like I said, it's a Sam like y'all ain't ever seen before. I'm out.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Spike Goes To Smallville


Ok, I'm just getting home from Jamzfest and taking a rest before heading to the afteraparty (you know that is going to be off the chain, as we say on the air) I have two good pieces of news, one that I will hold off on for now, but I can tell you that it will change everything you may know about me. The other thing however I can share, not only for "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fans, but of "Smallville" as well.

James Marsters is gonna (try) to smackdown Tom Welling.

I don't talk about how much I love the show here, but I am a HUGH FOLLOWER of "Smallville". C'mon, it's Superman we're talking about here. That's all you need. So this season, everything is leading up to "Superman Returns", which means it's going to be the hottest season yet. Details are here, and when you find out what's going on, you will believe a show will get high ratings.

Labels: ,

Sam At Jamfest2005!

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, July 22, 2005

A Good Ol' Fashioned Catfight

Wow, this is gettin' good. As I write this now, Redneck Diva and April Winchell are tied at first place. Diva's letting everyone know at her blog, like most of the others, while I think April is getting support over at KABC in L.A. . So, just to make it fair for everyone, I'm keeping the poll up until Monday so everyone has a shot. Plus it'll give me a break as I have a major weekend going on here. I've got two major radio shows going on WEAS, plus this is the weekend for Jamfest, which was postponed from last month due to rain, but is going on Saturday. Singer Toni Braxton will be there and I'll be bringing her out, hopefully. This is going to be as dream come true, I can promise you. I have a good feeling this nis really gonna turn out to be a good weekend all around. I'll see ya after the show, gang!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Here It Is...NOW VOTE!

Okay, we're gonna do this now, as I just found out that I have an emergancy DJ gig to do tonight. Here is the poll machine for The Miss RSJS Beauty Pagent! It's down below, right under the Flickr badge. Now I guess you can vote as often as you can for your favorite person, but remember, this is only for the TOP FIVE. Next week, we'll see who they are and that winner will become Miss RSJS. So, tell your freinds, tell your neighbors, tell everybody, because the voting begins NOW!

Don't forget...You can vote at the other site as well. Have fun, everybody!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I'm Not As Stupid As I Look, Folks...

Everybody's doin' it. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't get too dumb after watching some MTV.



37962 words
Congratulations! You scored 110!
You scored as knowing approximately 37962 words and word meanings. This officially qualifies you as a "wiseguy."







My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:










free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 5% on words known
Link: The How Many Words do You Know Test written by 476herschel on OkCupid Free Online Dating

My James Doohan Story

One of my best married friends when I was wedded was a couple named Dave and Sylvia Linsdey. He was an Army guy from St. Louis and she was a stripper from Savannah. They really had nothing in common, bu they loved each other for awhile and that was okay, I guess. If they loved anything together though, it was "Star Trek": the old and the new. They were only together during the first few seasons of "The Next Generation", so I don't really know how they felt about "Deep Space Nine" or any of the other shows afterwards.

Sylvia kinda absorbed the show from Dave and found the the first two shows wonderful, but the guy she loved the most was Mongomery Scott. He was cheerful and loveable, but when it came down to business, he was dead on serious. Scotty was a good ol' boy by way of Scotland, so the writers wrote it. Of all the characters of those shows, Scotty seems the most real to alot of viewers.

One day, they decided to take in a Trek convention, one of the last with James Doohan, as he was up in age and unfortunatly, his Alzhimers was beginning to start. But they wanted to see their hero one last time, so they made the trip to Florida, braved the Trekkies or Trekkers or whatever they call themselves (we comic book fans stick to "fanboys" for the most part) and finally got to meet the man. When they came back after the show, Sylvia had tears in her eyes when she told me how wonderful the guy was, how he signed every photo, shook every hand, and greeted every fan with a "hi". The most generous person she had ever met in her life.

James Doohan passed away today after 86 years. His wife of 28 years, Wende was at his side when he left. Dave and Sylvia divorced two years after that show. Where The Lindsey's went of too afterwards, I have no idea and I wish them well. As for James and Wende, they had a wonderful life together. I would like to thank Mrs. Doohan for letting us borrow her husband for awhile and letting us enjoy his adventures in space and beyond.

Here's The Bell For Round One

Alrighty, I just posted on the new site with more nominees. I know that there's alot of female bloggers out there, but these a few just a choice few of the many diverse women bloggers out there. I never meant this to be a joke, but I wanted to honor all the bloggers involved who have the courage to write about their lives and the world around them. I didn't want to ridicule them or be a sexist pig about this. I just want to say thank you to all of them out there for the great things that they do, in and outside of the web. With that done, now it's up to you. Tomorrow night, we start the voting. It's up to you now to tell us who are the top five of the field. Once again, I gotta thank you guys for letting me get away with this.

So, if you want to get a blogger in there, drop that line to samjohnson@gmail.com and I'll try to get them on as fast as I can, so that way you can see all the ladies and vote. Meanwhile, I've had a long day. So, I'm goona watch some Bob Newhart and chill.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A Pause For The Cause


Let's take a break from the Miss RSJS Beauty Pagent and talk about stuff for a tic, eh? That's me trying to sound British, what?

I'm at a crossroads on alot of things in life. I've gained a few pounds after moving. That means that I now have food in the house that isn't stolen and eaten. This is not a good thing. But, I am able to cook now and enjoy the smell of good cookin'. Tonight, I'm making a pork roast and Savannah Red rice. Oh, you never had Savannah Red Rice? I finally learned how to do it after 39 years and it's worth while. Here's the recipe. One option, replace the bacon with sliced smoked sauasge and add cooked chicken, deboned. It's a meal unto itself.

I have ceramic tile on the floor here at the house and I have no Idea how to clean it, other that Swifering the hell out of it. aneone have any ideas?

Remember Tickle roll-on? Like diet pop? Well, make it an Aviance night and check out these 70's ads for women.

Hey, David! Brent's talking about The Green Hornet!

Okay, that's all I got now. Still looking for nominations. Check out the other page and make sure to read their blogs. I gotta check my pork.

Monday, July 18, 2005

The Ladies Man-Jerry Lewis version, of course...

We've got more nominees for the RSJS Beauty Pagent! Meet Laura, Paige, Karen, and Pam now! Don't forget to get you nominations in now. Thanks to everybody for participating!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Ladies Are Flickr-ing!

Okay, I go the photos up on Flickr, however there isn't enough room for all of them. So, it looks like I'll have to create a new blog for them. Yep, another new blog. I'll have them all up and running by later tonight. Plus, I have a Flickr badge below so you can check out some of them early before I put up the new one. Stay tuned.

Update We now have the new site up here. I'll add a few more later on tonight...But right now, Family Guy is on. Gimmie an hour.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Even More Nods!

Where's Babs? Moos? Heidi? C'mon, y'all...Get those nominations in there!

I got this in the mail from Damon Owens. "I've got your winner, right here! Its Miss Gina Barge, blogger extraordinaire. At her blog, Gina's RantSpot , she provides commentary and observations that are both insightful and amusing. Her reflections of life experiences make her blog must-reading for me -- and, oh yeah, she's a hottie too! I humbly submit her for the coveted Miss RSJS title." That's good enough for me.


Here's Erica of Swirlspice. She loves sangria, the WNBA and just tried out for The Amazing Race. Good luck!


Lisa sent in this comment. "I nominate Robin... (she's going to kill me =)"
Robin from A.K.A. Binsk. Very mischivous look here. Well to be fair for Robin...





Here's Lisa. This way Lisa, if Robin gets mad at you for this, you can say you're in it, too. By the way, do you know THE MONKEY?



That's it for now. I gotta say, this is fun. Somebody's gotta get this on Fark or something. Sometime later today, I'm gonna put together the Flickr post so you can see all the lovely lady bloggers. And soon, you will have a change to vote. So, get those nominees in soon! David and I have a lot of work ahead of us....

Friday, July 15, 2005

More Nominees!

Here's Penda from Penda's Realm. She's from Detroit!Go, Magic Mojo (she'll know what I'm talking about)!


And now we have Lachlan from My So Called Blog with her dog Sumi. I thought she was huggging a fox for a second. Still cool, though.




Here is Keri from Under The Big Sky.She's blogged since April, 2005 and according to her, her job is "making people happy".

Does she give out free money? I would be happy with that.


Here's Julie from Lone Prairie. She's in North Dakota and does grapic design. I think she's the first one who's ever clicked on my Radio Spirits link. And, if YOU haven't, why? I get a buck or two out of it.




Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, PANDORA ZOWADA! You know she had to be here.


Here's shot of Aimee from Aimee's Blog. She loves animals and cute earrings, as you see here.


Finally for now, here's Lee Ann from The Cheese Stands Alone. "Well, I've never been shy to toot my own horn (which is not an euphemism for something naughty, it really isn't. Really. Not this time, anyway.) so if you want, there's a picture of me on my blog in the Flickr lineup... I'm the one with the snake near the bottom. I could win for Miss Pet-Enhanced, I betcha." If anything, she could do well just for showing us her rack. Oh, yeah...The snake is real.


Okay, that's it for now. Remember, email your entries to samjohnson@gmail.com and you could see your person here. I'll have these photos on Flickr soon and next week, we vote. Thanks everybody!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Do I Look Like I'm Jokin'?

I have a feeling some of you thought I was kidding about the Miss RSJS, because no one has sent in a nomination. I think some of you by now know that WHEN I SAY SOMETIHNING, I MEAN IT. Yes, I am serious about this. So much so, that I have taken it upon myself to drop a nominee or two into the pool. So here they are.

Here is Allison from Allison Lives. She's 27 years old and lives in Maryland. According to her, "In my spare time (which I never seem to have enough), I enjoy artistic things like watercolor and painting pottery. I love to read, mostly English or American classics. I'm an avid movie-watcher, however I hate animal movies, depressing movies, and just plain weird movies. I really enjoy spending time working on my websites or doing other computer-related projects. In fact, I spend entirely too much time in front of my computer. I prefer to label myself as computer-savvy. I don't know enough to be labeled a geek...yet. "

This is Tiffany from Blown Fuse. She's from North Carolina, married and has been blogging since January of 2004. "The Queen of Snark" says, "This blog is called blown fuse because it just seemed appropriate. When we first moved into our house, I tried to plug something in to an outlet in the living room. It blew up and threw the entire circuit into fuckeditude."

She also owns the soundtrack to the musical "Hair".




This is Kristin, better known as Redneck Diva. She lives in Oklahoma with her husband and her three kids, one of whom is named Sam. That alone got her here.

Finally, this is April Winchell. She lives in L.A. and does voice-over work, incluing cartoons like "Disney's Recess" (she's Miss Finster). She's been blogging since 2001 and does a radio show as well. And yes, her father was Tigger.




Now, these are just my nominations. We want to hear from you now.Who do you think should be Miss RSJS? From all the nominees we'll get, we'll pair it down to just four and then just one.So, get them in soon. We'll add all the nominee to Flickr and you'll have a chance to check them out before you vote. So, once again I say, Get those emails in to samjohnson@gmail.com in now!

Update Okay, I've gotten some good response so far after putting this post up, but so far, but so far everyone's just voting for the ones we have here. If you know a female blogger and they have a photo they can share, then let's put 'em up here! While your at it, check out their blogs and sites as well. It's great to see them all here, but what it's all about is thier writing. Thanks, gang!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Your Voice Is Heard

66.7% of you said "Hell, No" and you don't want to see celebrities in the Miss RSJS Beauty Pagent, while only 33 and a third said, "Heck, Yes". Well, Hell hath no fury, so it wins. I have made David at Better Living Through Blogging the only judge in this matter, but you all make the deciding vote. So, let the nominating proceed. In other words...

GET TO MAILIN', PEOPLE!

Why Online Dating?

While I was listening to "An Evening With Kevin Smith", I started looking at the online dating services again, just to see if I'm doing the right thing. Truthfully, just because I'm a DJ doesn't mean I ge tthe girl. He mentioned how he met his wife, Jennifer, after she intervied him for USA TODAY. Afterwards, they traded email online for awhile before they actually went out. He's very happy now with his life and that's great. Which tells me...

If that tubby bastard can find a match, so can I.

It's come down to this: I know you guys don't want to hear this, but I'm tired of being single. "Blah, blah. He's gonna start whining again." I can do that here. It's my site. But for everyone who is single and haven't found the right person, don't you get tired of just sitting on the couch, watching a good movie, and looking over to say, "Wow, that was a funny scene", and there's nobody there for you to say that to? Yep, that's me.

That's why I put my profile online. The last time I did it, which was two years ago, it was a failure. I always wound up with women biggger than me, and about as handsome. That ain't good. After a few months of this, I just gave up on it and said, "Screw that. I'll take my chances outside." Fast forwards to now, where I'm still single. Either I'm too picky or I'm tired of getting rejected all the time.

You guys have known me for a bit now. You've read my stuff and most of you know my life, I think. I'm not that bad of a guy. Don't you think it's time I found somebody? Or, do you hope that I don't so I can pay attention to the site?

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

So, How Was Your Day?

I'll tell you how mine went...

I woke up around ten a.m. and grabbed a cup of coffee to wake up right. Already, most of you hate me for this. I mean, I don't really have a day job, if you think about it. What else am I supposed to do? Other than dialysis three days out of the week and radio on Sundays, there just ain't much other than waiting on the occasional club gig. So, I wake up at ten a.m..

After soaking in the caffeen for a bit, I tuned into the news. I feel bad for London and the bombing. They have every right to be pissed off and angry for awhile after this. As for the new shuttle launch, I hope it goes without a hitch. We need to start looking outside of our world with all the crap that's happening here on Earth.

Soon, I left the house and took in a movie. Make that a few movies. I decided to do something I haven't done since high school and jump theaters. It's still very easy to do, as there's nothing but teenagers running the place and they could care less about you after you buy popcorn. I saw Fantastic Four (not too bad, even though critics say it's awful), Madagascar(very funny...VERY FUNNY), and some of Batman Begins again before I split. I then when to the Comic Box and hung out for a bit. It was good to be there again during the weekday. I had some good times there as Assistant Manager.

After that, I went to the store and got myself stuff to make a Cuban Sandwich. Real simple...

1 Sub Roll
Sliced ham (deli style)
2 slices, salami
pickle slices (i'm using dill)
mustard
Cheese slices (I've got American)

Take sub roll, slap on mustard. Then, throw on cheese, ham, salami, and pickles, in that order. BECAUSE I SAID SO. then, wrap sandwich in foil and press flat carefully. Place in frying pan on low temperature and cook on each side for five minutes or until bread is toasted. Wait a minute or two, then chow down. Serves YOU.

Afterwards, I placed an ad on Cupid.com because I'm sick of being single and tired of watching everyone else get the girl. Lord, why do I do things like this to myself?

That's my day into night. Don't forget to send in your nomination for the Miss RJSJ as soon as you can. Me, I'm going to ask myself why did I put my profile online like that when I have no chance in Hell of finding someone nice.

NO. THE CONTEST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Court: AMC Not 'Classic' Enough

YES! It's now legal and official. The American Movie Classics Cable network has been ruled "not classic" anymore by a New York Judge, after a cable company drew a lawsuit against the channel.

BITE ME, PREDATOR 2! You were never a classic movie. Long live Turner Classic Movies!

UPDATE The links has been fixed.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Are There Any Ladies In The House?


We got our first nonination for Miss RSJS, thanks to Dave Hewitt. Julie Newmar, better known as Catwoman.

Ok...She doesn't have a blog, Dave. If she did, from stories I heard about her, it would make a "Fear and Loathing' tale look like a Mother Goose story. So, she's out. Sorry, pal. Besides, the only comic book female we allow here is Linda Carter.

Okay, I can see now that this isn't gonna be easy, gang. Should we have a Celebrity Miss RSJS and an IRL Miss RSJS? Let me know, because if we do stars, Linda Carter is goin' up.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Nothing Good Can Come From This...

Maybe it could be the fact that I haven't had any sleep since yesterday, but I have a Wacky Idea®. Here it is. Brace yourselves...

The First Annual Miss RSJS Beauty Pagent.

Ok, here's how it would go. Nominate a fellow female blogger and if can send in a CLEAN, DECENT PHOTO of that blogger to samjohnson@gmail.com along with why they should win. Then, we'll poll all the nominees from you guys to see who you think should win. The winner will then have the prestige of being Miss RJSJ for one year along with the the love and affection of readers everywhere. If you like the idea, drop me that photo and let's give our appreciation to the ladies out there!

Lord, I hope that this isn't too wacky...

Friday, July 08, 2005

Mad Meme

I HAVE CREATED THE MOST EVIL MEME EVER!!! BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

I call it a "Mad Meme". It's just like a Mad Lib, if you know what those are. You just fill in where it tells you to and you have wonderfully twisted story. Then, you pass it on to the five bloggers listed in the meme. It starts out like this...

"Have you ever had one of those days? You know where you just want to (verb) a (noun) ? Sometimes, you just want to grab your (noun) and just (verb)? I had one of those day some time ago. See, I was just talking to (person) on the (noun) when I got a knock on the door. It turned out too be a (annoying noun). I really wasn't in the mood to be bothered. I asked them what they wanted, when they said, "(first thing that comes to your head)". I looked at them and said, "(second thing that comes to your head)". Well, you should have seen the lok on their face! They got really (verb) and tried to grab me by my (body part). The Kid wasn't havin' that, though! I grabbed their (body part), then I proceeded to put my (noun) in their (noun)! While I was doing that, (a blogger) showed up and asked was everything ok. I said that I was trying to handle this. (Blogger) asked could they join in and I said, "heck yeah!" Soon, they pulled out a (kitchen utensil) and began to (verb) the bad guy over the head! Then, (blogger), (blogger) and (blogger) showed up and they began to (verb) the guy! After twenty minutes of that, we got bored with the whole thing and had a nice, tall glass of (noun). You know, when you have bad days, it's good to know that you have friends who stick by you."

It looks kinda like this when you're done...

"Have you ever had one of those days? You know where you just want to (eat) a (cow)? Sometimes, you just want to grab your chicken and just (tickle it)? I had one of those day some time ago. See, I was just talking to (Toni Braxton) on the (soda can) when I got a knock on the door. It turned out too be a (out of work NHL player). I really wasn't in the mood to be bothered. I asked them what they wanted, when they said, "(WHne was the last time you checked the filters)". I looked at them and said, "(There's a pig in the bushes)". Well, you should have seen the lok on their face! They got really (ugly) and tried to grab me by my (left eyebrow). The Kid wasn't havin' that, though! I grabbed their (pinky toe), then I proceeded to put my (cable modem) in their (ash tray)! While I was doing that, (Craig) showed up and asked was everything ok. I said that I was trying to handle this. (Pandora) asked could they join in and I said, "heck yeah!" Soon, they pulled out a (egg beater) and began to (twist) the bad guy over the head! Then, (Ivan), (Babs) and (Randy) showed up and they began to (tickle) the guy! After twenty minutes of that, we got bored with the whole thing and had a nice, tall glass of (nails). You know, when you have bad days, it's good to know that you have friends who stick by you."

And there you have it. Now, in the words of Hedley LaMarr, "Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!"

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Meme's Like Old Times


Thanks to Pandora, I now have to do this. Torture, I tell you. IT'S TORTURE!

Oh well, with pain comes pleasure...

What I was doing ten years ago: Just getting over my heart attack and slowly going back to work programming WGCO FM. That was a very tough time for me.

5 years ago: Living in Hinesville, Georgia, working at Ft. Stewart doing government contract work with a bunch of losers who hated me and I hated them and the job. Once again, a very tough time. So far, I hate this frickin' meme.

1 year ago: Chillin'. Things are mutch better now.

Yesterday: Dialysis, then home. How do you come back from that?

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Oatmeal raisin cookies
2. Golden Crisps, right out of the box
3. Frosted Flakes, right outta the box
4. Grapes
5. Ladies' earlobes (I KEED! I KEED! kinda....)

5 songs I know all the words to:
"Sittin' On The Dock OF The Bay"
"Easy"
"I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am"
"Yesterday"
"Watchin' The Wheels"

5 Things I would do with $100 million:
GET NEW KIDNEY
PAY FOR ANTI REJECTION MEDICINE UPFRONT

Then, whatever's left after that....
Give some to friends
Start a charity
Buy a horse and move to country
(Sorry folks. It's in that order. Transplant comes first. For those of who think other think otherwise...Bite me.)

5 locations I would like to run away to:
MONTANA
MONTANA
MONTANA
MONTANA
ENGLAND (I'll go there, no matter what.)

5 bad habits I have:
Forgetting to finishing things
....
....
....
....


5 things I like doing:
Watching old tv shows
Being on the radio
Spinning hits in the club
Reading old comic books and snacking on Frosted Flakes while listening to old time radio
Working on the blog (except writing tough memes like this)

5 things I would never wear:
1. A swimsuit (ANY swimsuit)
2. Low riding jeans with a short T-shirt
3. Stiletto heels
4. Capris
5. Wool (too itchy)
Reason one, because this is all girl's stuff (Pandora picked the same thing). Reason two, because Capris and Stiletto heels make my ankles look fat.

5 TV shows I like:
Daily Show
Family Guy
Robot Chicken
Iron Chef
Power Rangers

Sad, huh?

5 Biggest joys of the moment:
New Comics Day every Wednesday
Getting Paid
Good friends (both IRL and blogging)

That's it for that, really.

5 Favorite toys:
My Home Entertainment System
My Computers (that's two, right there)
My Camera
My MP3 player

5 Next victims:
The Retropolitan
Moos
Brent
Randy
David

I'll smite somebody for making this meme.

Ya Gotta Have Friends, lalalalalalalala

Tonight, I had my first video night at the house and invited sme of the crew over. Clockwise, there's James, Tina Jeff, Cherry, and with his back turned, Aaron. I make the different styles of wings (hot, bbq, and jerk) while we talked stuff and watched the first episode of Wonder Woman. James, Cherry and Aaron are gay, so this was a special moment for them. I told you before and now I can confirm: Gay or straight. ALL MEN LOVE LINDA CARTER!

Sam 24/7

After weeks os waiting, I finally have my cable installed in the house and I'm able to go online properly. Which means that I'll post at my new computer desk here in the living room, instead of having to do it on the laptop in the bedroom, which was quite a mess. I've got everythig cetralized now so it's a media room here now. The desk is across from the television, which connected to the home entertaiment system and that surrounds the room. Yep, I never have to leave the house again. All I have to do is go grocery shopping once a week and I'm set.

God...I've become a bum. I'm going out. I'll be back later.

America-F...Yeah!

You Are 71% American
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

I don't think this is really fair. Ivan came up only 51%, but I don't thingk that makes him any les of an American than me. Look, say what you wanna, I'm happy to be here and I love it, no mater what.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

It's Honorin' Time!



With the new Fantastic Four movie coming out this week, Jack Kirby's name will be once again mentioned as co-creator of the book, along with Stan Lee. But, while Stan is around to receive the glory and a few bucks from it, Jack won't. When he finally left Marvel in the late seventies, he wasn't given funds for his work, nor the original artwork he drew when coming up with almost all of the charaters Marvel published in the sixties ( I may be wrong on some of the information, as it's Wednesday, I had dialysis and I'm still loopy. See Mark Evanier, who worked with Jack constantly or any of the other comic blogs linked here for more information). However after his passing, Jack finally has something Stan never had...His own museum. Now, that is an honor.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

On Blogging and Monkeys

Since I've been back online, I really haven't been to most of my favorite sites in awhile, so today was catch up day as I surfed around to see who was doing what, when something caught my eye.

Monkey was leaving.

If you never caught any of this primate's posting, he was one of the funniest guys out there and if I know one thing, I know this for certain...MONKEYS IS FUNNY.

I followed this guy ever since I started reading, then doing blogs and consider him as one of the guys who got me hooked.

I read his last post, for now. He will hopefully return, but for now he has his real life to take care of. When you're ready, Monk, I'll be there. I know alot of others will be, too.

Meanwhile, Spike at Bedazzled has good news: His retro pop site will be around for a good long time. Here's hoping he has time to cut another good CD between then. Need a goood backup singer, Mr. Priggin?

50,000 Miles And Running!

We did it! Over 50,000 hits on this little dog and pony show! I'm not aure how to take it, really. It just shows that there's alot of love for the ol' boy after all this time. You guys freakin' rock me ever time!

So, it's time we announce the winner of our little contest. Congrats goes out to TERRY LACY! Terry, you are the 50,000th visitor here to the RJSJ, so for that, we give you not only a big hug, a bowl of my homemade banana pudding, an autographed photo of of Lyle Waggoner I signed myself and a year's supply of Vitamitavegiman, but you are one of the rare Americans, nay, people of Earth, to have a one of a kind, cased in plastic, untouched by human hands, blessed by the Pope, and sealed for your protection, but soft for a woman...THE NO-PRIZE!


Terry, you show this thing with pride, my friend. If and when you open that envelope and you marvel at the simplistic beauty of The No-Prize (men have been blinded just peering at it for a brief minute or ten), you too will swell with pride as I know others have, while saying proudly, "I just got a No-Prize"!

"sniff-sniff"

I'm so proud, I can't stop crying like I just won "Dancing With The Stars". Ex-excuse me won't you, whilst I wipe the dew from my eyes..

Monday, July 04, 2005

Almost 50,000 Served

We're waiting to see who gets to be the 50,000th person to step through the doors here at the RSJS tonight! Don't forget, if that person is you, copy and paste the counter up top on an email and send it in to samjohnson@gmail.com and you will win a rare, one of a kind, your-folks-wished-they-had-one-when-they-were-growing-up No-Prize! Do it soon, as there's only one No-Prize out there*.

*Void where prohibitedOnly one prize per famliyWinner will be subject to constang pestering of friends wanting to touch the No-Prize,but you tell 'em get their ownOffer not available in some statesSorry,Tennessee

Sunday, July 03, 2005

God Bless Us ALL

For our Boys and Girls serving our country, this one's for you. Whether you agree or not, they are out there for US. Keep 'em flyin', y'all!

Sam Meets His Future Ex-Wife!

this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, July 02, 2005

In Case You Were Wondering...

For those of you who are into that whole homo-erotic fiction bullcrap thing (and why the hell are you even thinking about Kirk and Spock having sex anyways, ya weirdo), I checked out my Celebmatch for male partners. I got both Shawn Wayans and Mark Walberg (the actor, not the gameshow weasel) at 98%. The other three guys nobody's ever heard of. So, if I were gay, I'd look ok on the dating realm, I guess. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

By the way, If I Google my name and ever find any slash fiction with me in it, I will bust you up like a little kid with an Easter egg. Y'all think I'm playin'.

Turning Over

TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO HITS THE 50,000 COUNTER HERE AT THE RSJS!! READ!!!!!

Copy the page and send it to me via e-mail at Samjohnson@gmail.com for proof and I will send you an honest to goodness, 100 and 10 % "no-prize", possibly one of the most treasured gifts known to mankind. Come on, let's get to that 50,000! You can do it!



Superstar



When I heard that Luther Vandross had passed due to complications from a stroke on Friday, I has heartbroken. Here was a man who was the greatest singer in his generation and now he's gone. When I tried to start on a singing career as a teen, due to my old man's urging, he was telling everyone I was going to be the net Luther. There was only ONE Luther and I couldn't replace the man. All you had to do in my neighborhood was just say the man's first name and everyone knew who you were talking about.

He was a session singer at first, doing backup gigs with studio bands and artist like David Bowie ( including "Fame" which crossed over from the rock charts to the soul charts), Elton John, Chic and others. It was in 1979 that Luther decided to finally go solo and in 1981, released "Never Too Much" on Colombia. From there, it was hit after hit after hit and we were all jammin' and slow draggin' to every one of them. There isn't a person here today that can't say they got their groove on with Vandross tune, if you know what I mean.

Two personal Luther stories. Would you belive my very first concert was a Vandross show here in Savannah, circa August 1985? I was nineteen and had never been to any music act, rock, r&b or otherwise. I sat in the center seats thidr row and could see Luther up close. He was in the middle of his famous weight battle and looking like he was winning at the time. After doing a few tunes, Luther told the audience how much he hated the fact that Eddie Murphy had a bit in his stand up act of how even though the man could sing, Luther was a Kentucky Fried Chicken eatin' Mo-Fo. Luther said he was offended as Hell by the man and by that remark. Vandross stated that he will always be a Popeye's chicken eatin' man forever.

A year later, I entered the talent contest at Savannah State while I was a student there. I had plan on singing, but my voice was sore from practicing and having to work at my first radio job. Instead, I decided to turn it into a comedy bit and lipsynced Luther's ballad "If Only For One Night", one of my favorite songs and the sexiest slow jam ever. I, however turned it into a overdone farce, bringing a girl to the stage and acting over the top on the whole thing. I wound up winning the show with a standing ovation and realized that I had a pretty good sense of humor.

Luther Vandros was a man with as big a talent as he would be, depending on his size at the time. We've had singers come and go and no one can or could touch the legacy Vandross created. I can't enjoy any of the new so-called r&b crooners out there right now. They either try to copy the past with failure or they have no talent wat so ever. I know I spin alot of that stuff now in the clubs or on WEAS FM, but I have no choice in that matter. I'm stuck with it due to programming and I've told them this before. If I had my way, I'd replace every stupid R. Kelly song on the playlist with a Luther tune. I think everyone would be the better for it and the lovin' would be alot more romantic. Try it with the one you love one night and see. Luther would thank you.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Everybody's Doin' It


As a follower and not a leader, I have decided to take up the Celebmatch that Pandora got from Ivan who got it from somebody else who found it on the web. Let's see how this goes...

Traylor Howard-100%. She was in "Two Guys, A Girl (she was the "Girl") And A Pizza Place". After one season, the Pizza place was replaced and hasn't really worked since. Poor Place. As for Traylor, she was last in "Son of The Mask". Already, this list can't find me a classy dame.










Janine Turner-98%. She was in "Northern Exposure" and some show on Lifetime. Now, this is more like it, folks.











Julie Delpy-98%. The crappy remake of "An American Werewolf". She's bony, she's French, her hair is stringy and she probably hates Americans anyways. NEXT...









Drea de Matteo-98%. I'll forgive her for "Joey", but no matter how smokin' hot she is here, you must remember...Do her wrong, you get whacked. Bada-boom, Bada-bing...
















Jonana Benedek-98%. WHO? Would someone give me a frickin' clue who this is? I think we can do better on our own here, so let's drop this chick and the French Fry for these two...











Toni Braxton-65%. Y'all know that she's my future ex-wife, right?

























And, of course...

Only 54%. siiiigh. I can't win for losing, y'all.