Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Monday, February 28, 2005

The Love Theme to the Real Sam Johnson Show

(Play this song while reading this post out loud. Like that movie trailer guy that always goes, "In a world, blah, blah, blah".)

ANNOUNCER: "Sam Johnson. A man barely alive. When suddenly, he's bitten by a radioactive bug, bombarded with radioactive gamma rays, his parents are killed by a mugger and a bat flies through his window, all in the span of ten minutes. Soon, he realized that with great power comes chicks and soon becomes the Creature of the Night, the Devil may care rapscallion, rouge and comic book geek: The Real Sam Johnson!! Without having any actual super powers, Sam uses his amazing skill of street smarts, book learnin' and stuff he's seen Bugs Bunny do to outwit the most dealiest of foes...Stupid people from everywhere who disrupt our American way of life! Ride with us now in the continuing adventures of an insane world, and one crazy man trying to fix it. The Real Sam Johnson rides again!!"

I think every blog should have a theme song. This one is mine. You got one?

Post Oscar Blah Blah Blah...

What straight black male watched the Oscars tonight? That would be me. I was right in almost all of my predictions, except I never saw Cher, which is a good thing anytime. Chris Rock did ok, not Carson or Martin ok, but he held his own. Basically, it was the average guy hosting the show this year and he had his complaints. As for Sean Penn, let it go, pal. He probably knows Jude Law is a good actor. It's just jokes. Like the time Madonna said you were great. Now, go buy a tie, take a trip to Iraq and shut yer piehole, Spicoli. That's right. I just dissed Sean Penn. I'll fight a Method Actor if I have to. Who took your picture now, Sean?

I do feel bad for Martin Scorsece, though. I haven't seen The Aviator, and I haven't seen Million Dollar Baby, either. Still, Scorsece has worked hard over the years to get an award, with no luck. I dunno. Maybe if he did a smaller, more human drama, he could one day walk away with the statue. I would hate the little guy to get an honorary award when he's to old to shout "action".

Like I said before, I was right about my predictions. It was too long, any speech not by an actor was boring (except for Best Foreign Film winner, which I've forgotten, but singing as the guy accepted was cool), the songs well dull, and there was no Rob Lowe. Well, there's always next year. Maybe Ellen Degeneres can host next time. Comments, anyone?

Friday, February 25, 2005

My Oscar Predictions

I'm posting light this weekend, as I hope to be busy working on Samapalooza. So, here's my Oscar predictions for this weekend.

Chris Rock will offend somebody and I will laugh. The rest of America will sit there trying to figure it what he said as he is too hip for the room. And, when I say "hip", I mean "too Black".

Someone will wear a dress that will throw fashion back thirty years. It will more than likely be a woman wearing it. I say Cher.

Rob Lowe will not be allowed to sing ANY oscar nominated song AGAIN this year.

In Oscar's honor of their fallen, they will run a photo of Abe Vigoda, who just turned 84 this week and is still living.

Any award speech not from an actor will be boring as hell.

You won't be able to see it, but Martin Scorsese will pray that Clint Eastwood gets eaten in his seat by a sandworm when Best Director is announced.

Jamie Foxx will thank the following: God, his grandma, the director, the voters, Mighty Mouse, Pookie and Mimi, Uncle Earl, his publicist, that girl with the fine ass he met last night, The Wu Tang Clan and Ray Charles. Not in that particular order.

And, this is important...

The Oscars will be too damn long once again.

Last thing about Goth Girl Blog Day

I got this in the comments from Pandora...

"I don't know if I can write "Gothy" every Thursday. It was hard enough to write just that little post. But a goth girl meme sounds like fun! Whatta ya say Sam? Are you up to creating another meme?"

Let me repeat this again: I AM NOT A GIRL. Honestly, it was hard enough trying to write as a Goth Girl, as I don't know what women think. God knows every man wishs he could. However, I suggest that one of the wonderful ladies who stops by here take up the mantle of Goth Girl Blog leader. Please. Someone take it....

One More Thing...

I just went to Bravenet to check out how many hits I got on my counter and I am floored. 243 hits for this page! Wow! I have to say thanks to you guys for making it happen. Please, don't forget to visit my other page, In Honor Of Sam Johnson and make those hits worthwhile.

"The party's over, it's time to call it a day..."

Well, Goth Girl Blog Day is officially over. I celebrated by having to dj a gig tonight, but no one showed. I guess no one told them about today. Honestly, I came up with the whole thing just two days ago at 3:45 in the morning, so I didn't expect anything. I'm not even a girl! This tells me I need to try to get more sleep and try not to come up with too many crazy ideas when I can't go to bed. Oh well, I did get to go to a few new blogs I haven't been to because of this, which is cool. All of this tells me one thing...

Other than fundraising, try to stop me if I ever have another crazy idea like that again. I'm almost thisclose to doing a "Let's find Sam a girlfriend" contest, but I'm talking myself out of it due to thinking too much. Good night, everybody!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Happy Goth Girl Day!

Thanks to Pandora, Babs, Renee, Blather Review, and inadvertantly, David for participating in Goth Girl Day. I know this won't get as big as National Gorilla Suit Day, but it's a start. It's great to be part of a community of friends that stick together when the time comes. I'm glad to know you all and that we can all laugh at something as ridiculous as this. Let's do it again soon!

Goth Girl Speaks!


I hate my brother. He's making fun of my doll, Annabelle Lee, who has a much better life than his Max Powers action figures. He is such a tool. I don't want to ride the bus with him to school later. He gets in my business and farts alot. He is an ALIEN!!!! Posted by Hello

Great Girls Of Goth #1


Wednesday Addams. All Goth Girls must bow down to her.
(Idea swiped from Tom. Thank, Tom! Posted by Hello

Blah, blah, blah...

I'm such a loser. I have no mustard to eat my hot dogs with. Plus, I just got off the phone with a chick. She hung up on me. Just because I didn't have another 3.99 for the next minute.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEE?

See, I don't have a tween daughter. If I did, it would sound more authentic. Anyways, I thought I would start it off. Well, let's see how this goes...

God, I feel like listening to The Cure now.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Wowsie, Wowsie, Woo-woo


Ok, y'all. It looks as though Goth Girl Blog Day is on tomorrow. This photo will be our sign. I found it through Google and even though it had no real information with it, it looked perfect for the day. So, anyone down with this just copy the pic and post it on your site, along with most depressingly funny posts you can think of. And, keep me posted of who's involved so we can link to their site. This is gonna be so much fun! Let's get goth, everybody! Posted by Hello

Time for a vacation for me, don't you think?

Nope. I don't have time for one it seems. I had to deal with the Department of Health and Human Resources today about my Medicare, which is important. Then, what would Wednesdays be without dialysis, which was fine, except that there was a new guy next to me watching Lifetime. I wanted to slug him for those four hours of pain. But, I got some good news as I found out that another local musician wants to perform at Samapalooza! Now, we have three acts which is great!

I got an idea. If you guys know of any bands who wouldn't mind travelling down to Savannah, Georgia for a benifit show that day, let the know! I wouldn't be able to pay for their room and board, but it is for a good cause and all. Just as long as they don't suck. The more bands, the better! So, drop me a line as we go on our search for good rock and roll!

Goth Girl Thursday!

I think after comments made by our anoymous friend at Better Living, it is now decided that tomorrow is GOTH GIRL THURSDAY, where supporting blogs will rally as one...and act like goth girls. This is all in fun, of course. Fellow bloggers, join us! Let's make a stand and pretend to mope and whine and complain on our blogs for one dumb little day!

GO GOTH!

A Quickie

Just wanted to let you know since I can't sleep that ONLINE DONATIONS at In Honor Of Sam Johnson SHOULD be up today, according to Tina, via email.


Please God, please.

Sam Johnson's Meme Stikes Again!

Since I can't sleep, I'm going around the web to my favorite sites and snooping to see who's done my little meme yet. If you haven't seen it yet, here you go. There are a few folks out there who, if they haven't been hit with the meme, I would not have rad before. It seems like a great way to know folks. So, let's keep it moving. This time, I'm passing the meme to a diverse group: Ivan, Monkey, Humanity Critic, Kevin, and NEIL GAIMAN. Let's see if anyone tells him he's gotta do it.

Samapalooza Update

I've just gotten the poster made. I'll have them up across town here this weekend. I''ve got two bands so far and I'm going to talk to a guy tomorrow and see if I can get them to play on April 2nd.

Well, I guess I must be officially ill now. I've got posters and everything saying so. Crap. This thing better work.

Before I head out, I need to apologize to David at Better Living. I blew off some steam at an anonymous commenter who basically said that bloggers have nothing interesting to say. First of all, why hide when you say that? Don't you want folks to know who was that brave to come out to someone else's site and tell them that everything that they have done is crap? You're a punk for just saying that and a punk for just hiding. Some of us bloggers are not seventeen years old, angry about Blink-182 breaking up. We have something to say and and unless it's extremely personal, don't hide. I know I don't. So, thank you, Anonymous Commentor. You have made it my personal mission to continue blogging until I can't blog no more. Then, I'm gonna get a intertnet talk show. VIVA LA BLOGALUTION!

Damn, that felt good...

Star Wars III SPOILER!

I know that folks are tired of having to deal with Star Wars. I just know it. But, for those of you who haven't, the final chapter of the first trilogy will be out soon. Not soon enough for me.

I have seen REVENGE OF THE SITH. HERE. NO CRAP. GO TO THIS NOW BEFORE LUCAS JUMPS ON IT!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Good Day Sunshine

It feels good to be able to wake up after dialysis to sunshine and warm weather. The temperature is 75 degrees here in Savannah right now and the doors and windows are wide open. I just had to walk out on the balcony and soak it in. My roomate Matt was sitting out there already and I turned to him and said, "Man, this is just lovely. I can't believe this is November."

"It's February, Sam", said Matt. "It's February."

Oh. Great. Along with high blood pressure, end stage renal failure, nerve damage on the left side of my body and no dancing skills, I now have no concernable concept of months now. What's next? I won't be able to tell the Baldwin brothers apart?

I think we got the bugs fixed...

According to Tina, she recieved an email from NTAF that told her online donation will FINALLY open on Wednesday. It's on, it's off. Doc is in, Doc is not in. Sheesh. Wake me when it gets here. I know this is getting to be a pain, but think about how I must feel. I'm really, really sorry for the delay again, folks.

You know, if I wanted money for botox, this would be a cinch. But, NOOOOOOOO. I gotta have a kidney transplant. Gawd, I'm so over the top sometimes. I just gotta go big when I get sick.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Uncle Duke Is Gone

News has just come in that Hunter S. Thompson has committed suicide at his home. News will probably pick up more soon. Also, actress Sandra Dee has passed today and earlier today, John Raitt, singer/actor and father of Bonnie Raitt.

Once again, death sucks.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

What's A Guy Gotta Do To Get A Kidney These Days?

I've got a few minutes here at E-93 while I'm on the air to answer something, I got this in the comments fron Randy at A Secular Fransican Life (by the way, I don't have spell check on this, since they use Win98 and Blogger had all the major gadets for WinMe and up. Not like I use it much anyways, so things will look normal).

"I was looking at the NTAF site and how to donate to your cause and I couldn't find your name.What gives? Is there a lag time between getting your name submitted and when it shows up online?"

One of the members of Team Kidney, Tina McDermott wondered herself. She contacted the National Transplant Assitance Fund via e-mail to see what was going on. Just to let you all know, we've gotten our first thousand, thanks to you guys. Its those doations that will help to open up our online donation pipeline. However, Tina told me that the person who handles that she recieved an email from the NTAF is out of town and will return this week to resume work. Which means, we may still have to wait another day or two. So, I'm apoligizing once again for the delay on this. I don't mean to put anyone thru the paces on this, but I hope this is taken care of soon. The faster it gets done, the less I'll have to ask for money and more I can get back to being loopy here. Oh, and if I got the details wrong, I hope Tina will correct me in comments.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Real Good News

I've just gotten off the phone with someone from the National Transplant Assisance Fund. We've just gotten in our first check and ONLINE DONATION is now available. Thanks so much for making this happen!

Dig in, everybody!

"If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger, There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats"

I'm not going to retype the title here, but it's a mouthfull. It's also the name of one of the best photoblogs out there. I would have never found out about the site if it's author, Tom Sutpen had not written me a letter asking if I could link to his site on the blogroll. I'm glad I diod. Tom's site is filled with classic photos and stills from wonderful films of the past. Look, you guys know I'm not a classy guy, but I know it when I see it. So, if you check out any of the sites I've listed, please check this one out. I know the other guys won't mind and Tom will be happy.

See, Tom? Hyperlinks ARE good for somethings

Thursday, February 17, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play


The X-Toons, if you will... Posted by Hello

Repourposing

I'm feeling alot better now, although that cough medicine made me loopy as hell. Oh well, back to business.

I was quite surprised to read Mark Evanier's post that he was approached by CBS to create an new Amos & Andy cartoon show in the early 80's. I was surprised, but not upset. Why? This type of thing goes on in Hollywood all the time. If it's a property that could possibly make money somehow, they will sell it no matter what. It's called repurposing, taking an old property and updating it for a new audience. Could Amos & Andy work today? In a way, it did. It was called Malcom & Eddie and it ran on UPN a few years ago. Was there anything blatently racist about the show? From the episodes I watched and still remember, no not really. It was about the same as other shows about black comedies then and now on television. Everything was just repourposed. Do I think Amos & Andy the tv series was racist? From what I saw, no. It was the same as episodes of you see with African Americans as leads of comedies these days. Others may have their own opinions.

Speaking of repourposing, there has been more talk of "Loonatics" online than there has of Jeff Gannon. If you haven't heard, Warner Brothers has taken Bugs, Daffy and the rest of the Looney Toons and kinda sent them to the future, and turned them into superheroes with names like Buzz Bunny. Now, it is and it isn't Bugs. Once again, repourposing in effect. It's the WB's way of updating the characters for a new generation and make a few bucks. They've done it before with "Tiny Toon Adventures" and it worked then. Will "Loonatics" work for kids now, as well as adults who grew up watching Bugs in drag, or slamming Pete Puma over the head with a shovel after asking him how many lumps he wanted with his tea (my favorite)? We'll see.

I Am Loopy On Cough Medicine

I'm taking Tylenol Cough and Sore Thoat liquid to get rid of, well what it says on the bottle. Lemmie tell ya, that stuff is good. I am now loopy and just wanted to say good night before I drop off. By the way, I got the Cool Burst Sensation Flavor, so it goes down smooth. Reminds me of when I tossed back shots of Jameson Irish Whiskey, only it's not as harsh.

I promise I'll have my comments on Amos & Andy tomorrow, but right now I'm too doped up. So, good night everyone. And remember, if you get a cough or sore thoat, get that Tylenol Cough and Sore Throat Liquid. That's some good stuff, bruddda.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Amos & Andy, Revised

Not feeling too well today, but I wanted you to check out Mark Evanier's article about Amos & Andy and a revelation that's quite suprizing. If I feel better, I'll have comments later.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


Now this is a dog! Here is Pandora's pal, Shadow. He looks like a fun kinda pooch. Anyone else out there got a cool doggie? Posted by Hello

I Wanna Doggie

To cure me of my not gettin' any Valentine's Day blahs, I decided to watch the The Westminster Dog Kennel Show on USA last night. I have to tell you, those were some good looking animals I saw last night. Which tells me more and more I'm missing something in life. I want a dog.

Now, I know I'm gonna piss off some cat people out there, but you know what? PHSSH. Cats care for no one but themselves. They are evil, self-centered bitter little sneaks who think putting a dead rat on your bed after they toyed with it all night will get you to come to the dark side. No, give me a pal. A sidekick. A partner in crime who'll have your back. A canine Kato to my Britt Reid.

I don't want any ordinary dog, either. My dog has to be smart. Not Mr. Peabody smart. Just enough to know when to go outside to pee and when I'm having a bad day at the doctors. He can jump on the couch with me to watch tv and know not to bug me when I'm watching "Scrubs". They can sleep on the other side of the bed, that is unless they start with the farting or unless I bring a date home. It's more than likely they could hog the bed for the most part.

As for what kind of dog, I have no idea what works for me. I don't want a pretty dog. My brother Martin has pretty dogs. They're cute and lovely and adorable and he has children and that works for him. I also don't want a bulldog or a pitbull. I look tough enough as it is. The last thing I want is to walk down the street and give an old lady a heart attack.

Nope, I'm gettin' a mutt. 57 varieties. With a blue eye and a brown eye and a crooked smile. With his own personality. Humble and honest. I'm gonna call him Earl. Earl Hoffert, that's his full name. None of those fancy names like Spot or Comet. I just one one of theose dogs that could just be one of the guys. We could go out walking, or take a drive in the car and hit the road. Somebody I could talk to after having a long day or just sit on the stoop and watch the folks walk by. A pal. A good friend.

I'm gonna buy me a dog. Anyone who tells me why cats are better and I'll say one name: Snoopy.

Monday, February 14, 2005

For The Lover In you

Happy Going out to buy your sweetheart a wonderful gift, then finding out the store didn't have what you wanted and you go running around town to find it and it's nowhere so you wind up having to go get some roses and it's too late so your forced to just get a lily and a gift certificate from Bed, Bath and Beyond because everything's closed and she really wanted a diamond so you wind up getting the skunk eye from your sweetie all day and she calls her friends and talks about you like a dog and you find out her friend's boyfriends did the same thing so it's not like your alone but at least you know your baby still likes you Day.

Hope you got her something good.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Sam Johnson's Meme

I've been watching the blogs lately and the one thing I've noticed is this thing called a meme. I have no freakin' clue what a meme is, or why they even call it that. All I know is that the person who started it passes it along to someone else, then the new person puts on their own answers. Kinda like a slam book from high school, I think that's how it works. I've never done a meme before, but today that all changes. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Sam Johnson's Meme.

What's your favorte kind of cookie? Oatmeal raisin

Who is America's most overrated actor? Tom Cruise

Name a guilty pleasure. Doing the Cabbage Patch to old hip hop. In fact, doing the Cabbage Patch to anything. On alternating days, the Monkey.

"Scrubs" or "Everybody Loves Raymond"? "Scrubs".

Name two things you can't live without. High speed internet and slushies.

Using your first pet's name and your mother's maiden name, come up with your porn star name. Beanie Jackson

What song are you listening to right now? Actually, I'm on the air right now, but I'm in a station break.

Name your celebrity crush. Right now, that British chick from "Las Vegas". Her and of course, Bea Arthur.

Favorite punchline from a joke. "What I wanna know is who called that m***** f***** a piccolo player?"

Who do you want to pass this meme off to? Ummm, David.

And, that's my meme! Try it, kids! You'll love it!

Update I've had to drop the first question, due to safety. Internet thieves and such. Thanks for the heads up, Bill. But, Bea Arthur still stands.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, February 11, 2005

It Just Hit Me...

Man, I'm beat. I have to work all weekend, the house is a mess and all I wanna do is sleep. It's gonna be a busy couple of days. My mind is constantly running with ideas and thoughts. But, you want to know the rough part of it all?

Do you know how hard it is to be funny when you've just asked for $100, 000 bucks!?

As America's Only Neurotic Black Man®, I was feeling very guilty about asking for that. But, I got some letters of encouragement from readers and friends who straight out said " Screw it. You gotta do what you gotta do." For that, I thank them. It's still gonna take a day or two for me though to pull something out of the goofy hat. So, give me a day or two. I'll get something out.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

BREAK TIME!

Ok, I've got the other site set up now. I can rest. Whew. Lemme tell ya, this is alot of work getting a kidney. Sometimes, I just wanna go over the border and find a Mexican surgeon in the back of a bar and tell him let's just get this over with. I want to get back to the fun things in life, but it ain't gonna happen anytime soon. So, I'm gonna be flip floping back and forth from the serious Sam of the fundraiser to the Sam Shady on this page from time to time for the near future. Today, it's time to be Sam Shady.

So yesterday, I'm at my dentist's office to get some adjustments done on the new teeth, which by the way, feel and look great! Once they settle in perfectly, I'm gonna go chew some bricks for lunch and tacks for dinner! Anyway, I go in and there's a tv crew there working sone some stuff. The recepctionist told me that my dentist would be with me shortly. I finally got to go in, but the crew was shooting some background stuff. Then, my dentist, Dr. Ann Linton, asked me as I sat in the chair if I wouldn't mind being in her new commercial they were working on. Long story short: I'm now a spokesmodel for Abercorn Dentistry. Actually, I guess it's spokesmouth, since they were shooting footage of Dr. Linton examining my new grill. The commcerials are supposed to run in two weeks. I won't be able to get a copy and post it here and maybe that's a good thing, I think. But, at least I didn't have to pay for my visit because of it.

Oh, SAMAPALOOZA happens April 2. Check the other site for more details.

This is It

I'm not going to give you the story. You've read it here before. Now is the time. The fundraisers are ready. The website is almost ready. but it's up.

In Honor Of Sam Johnson.

A reminder: You won't be able to pay online for a couple of days, but you can call 1-800-642-8399 to The National Transplant Asistance Fund for early donations. Thanks in advance.



Wednesday, February 09, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Let's Get Down To Bid-nezz

Tuesday was a very busy day for your writer. I went to the dentist today and let's just say I have an all new smile, which I'm very happy about. I'll have a new photo up soon. I need the new grill anyway, as I've been taking care of fundraising stuff all day. I've talked myself to death and my hand hurts from shaking it with loads of folks. Peronally, I wish I didn't have to any of it. I'm a very modest guy, if you can't tell, but this is something that I have to. And, if I'm going to do this, then expect me to look like I'm almost running for the White House. Or, at the least dog catcher. I've told you be fore, there arw some interesting things coming soon. Well, I can say that it looks like April 2 for the kickoff, and what a kick it will be.

But what before then, pray tell? Be here Wednesday night at the stroke of midnight. You want a fundraiser, World Wide Web? You got it.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

There You Go, Kevin

Enjoy this now. My name goes back up top on Wednesday.

Update. It's now Wednesday. My name is back up top. Let's get back to business now, shall we?

Sam Johnson's Tale of the Tape

I'm cleaning out my old blog Sam's Pop Shop for the domain name as an important project has come up. This wasn't the first time I've dealt with the web. Here's my very first web page. Do have a laugh.

Love Gravy

I got a letter from long time reader Dave Hewitt that must be answered.

"Who cares who looks the best? What I am always looking for the absolute best music to play when getting busy. Do you or any of your faithful readers have any suggestions. I just picked up a Keith Sweats album from the library, and I'm not that thrilled with it."

WHODAWHADAFRICK!? Tell me you didn't go there, Dave. I love him, but it's time for a Come To Jesus Meeting® here, folks.

First of all (with head rotating and finger wagging), I care what women in rock look like, since I am a single, hertosexual male. You're so lucky I didn't put up a photo of Ashanti or your head would have exploded from the sheer power of her beauty.

As for Keith Sweat, I have no idea what album you got, but I know I NEVER GET MY MUSIC FROM A LIBRARY. That's where I go to get my books. Mind you, if you must use Keith Sweat for luvvin' and rub-a-dubbin', then "Make It Last Forever" is the one you want. Yes, it's from 1987, but it still works.

As for crooners these days, well, they suck. Seriously. R. Kelly? Forget it. Now we all know who he was singing to. The man had a song called "You Remind Me Of My Jeep". What woman wants to be reminded of something that was driven hard and dragged thru the mud, topless? Justin Timberlake? Great voice, but not even a lover man, as puberty has barely finished with him. Usher had a song called "Confessions", about how he cheated on Chili from TLC and got another woman pregnant. Ladies, do you want this man in your home, the bastard?

Me, I grew up on REAL MEN SINGING REAL SONGS. Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Isacc Hayes,
Teddy Pendergrass, Luther Vandross and Lionel Ritche, before he left The Commodores and adopted the dumb sexpot who's father is the bandleader for Jimmy Kimmel. And, if you want me to take it even further, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Tony Bennett and TOM JONES. It all stops at Prince when you move from romance to getting to the freaky deaky. Women, do you want to be seduced by a guy who says "Let's, let's stay together/Lovin' you whether, whether/Times are good or bad, happy or sad" (Al Green-"Let's Stay Together"), or some dude in saggy pants, drunk on crunk juice, rappin' "I've been thinkin' 'bout you a long time (Shorrrr-tty)/ But p**** never crossed my mind (Shorrrr-ty)" (Usher, Ludacris and Lil' Jon-"Lovers and Friends")? I though so.

Look, I'm not a loverman. I wish I was, but this isn't pityparty time. I just know my music for my moods. Use the right music for romance. You and your loved one may want to ge thteir freak on with The Ramones, others like Vivaldi. Others just like silence. Ask them what music they want to hear when your in those private moments, and it may just be to your advantage.

This post brought to you by Columbia Pitcures, with the new film "Hitch", starring Will Smith opens this Friday, only in theaters. I needed the money, okay!? Shite...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Gloating Day

I know I'm a little late with this, but it didn't hit me until I was driving today. It seems on last Thursady, there was this groundhog named Puxatawny Phil out of Philidelphia, who predicted six more weeks of winter. However, we here in Georgia have our own weather 'hog named General Lee, who predicted that winter was over for us on Groundhog's Day. Well guess what? The high in Savannah was 65, with temps in the upper 60's to the 70's this week, while Philly has hi's in the low to mid 40's this week. With some snow. Oh, and they lost the Super Bowl on Sunday. That's for beating my Falcons, you chunky soup eating birds. God said you could play, T.O., but he never said anything about winning.

By God, The South Shall Rise Again!

Sunday, February 06, 2005

WORST. NAME. EVER.


JEFF ALBERTSON?! I thought it was Louis Lane. It least his t-shirt was cool this episode. "Nerds Do It Rarely". Funny. Posted by Hello

BOR-RING!!!!

I'm at the half time of the Super Bowl and the game is pretty good. Right now, the game is tied at 7. It's the commercials that suck this year. I blame Janet Jackson on the whole thing.

There hasn't been one laugh out loud, wild and loose commercial so far. Not even the Budwiser spots have been great. Ok, the Bud Light commercial withthe bird was funny, but it just ain't the same. At least Paul McCartney doing some Beatles tunes. I can deal with that. More later.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

A Quickie

I just saw Justice League Unlimited on Cartoon Network moments ago, featuring Black Canary, Wildcat, and GREEN ARROW! If you ever wanted to to see animated superheroes kick ass, then this is the episode for you and it's a good one. I promise, you'll love it. Gotta run!

Here's Some Stuff You Need To Know


First things first. We had our first Team Kidney meeting today and things went well. We've got a few things planned already, but I won't beable to mention them for a few days, so hold on to your hat. Second, How about Java Jerry? I wanted to mention it yesterday but was too busy. It took an hour to get it right, but it was creepy and worth it. If you haven't seen it yet, head there now because you only have until next Saturday to view it. Third, The Patriots will win the Super Bowl! Lastly, more folks seem to comment more on Gwen Stefani than any of the other women in rock here. So, I guess Gwen wins. To our female readers, if I could think of some good looking guys in rock, I would but can't seem to think of any, as I am straight. Although, Animal from The Muppets was kinda cute. Posted by Hello


I see what most of you guys mean. Gwen is very hot for a rock chick, when she isn't getting too weird with the outfits. But yeah, I can dig it. Posted by Hello

Friday, February 04, 2005

Time To Get My Game Face On

I'm getting together with some friends on Saturday to work on some plans for fundraising. I have some plans I wanted to bring up to them, but I thought I'd bring them up to you first.

Running naked in the middle of Super Bowl Half Time show while McCarney is singing "Band On
The Run", wearing body paint saying, "Loan me a dollar or two, please".

Find those killers OJ's been looking for and get that reward!

Get On "The Apprentice" and just keep saying how good Trump's hair looks. That'll keep me out of the boardroom.

Hold a 24 hour webathon and talk about some of the most annoying crap that I can think of.

I think one of these should work. The OJ thing especially, I think. What do you think?

The Battle To End All Battles


Ok, it's time to settle this once and for all. Who is The Sexiest Woman In Rock today? Is it Liz Phair or Sheryl Crowe? First, a couple of pics of Liz... Posted by Hello


You must vote...It's only Phair. Posted by Hello


Or Sheryl Crow? Posted by Hello


Now Choose! Thanks to The Fink File for the idea. MILFS ROCK!Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I'm Number 1, I'm Number 1!!!

I just got word from Sam Nelson, Program Director for WEAS FM. It seems as though, our station is rated number one across the board in almost all deomographics, according to Arbitron. And, that my own weekend shows are NUMBER ONE! HELL, YEAH! DAMN IT FEELS GOOD SEEIN' PEOPLE UP ON IT! Thank you, Savannah and the Coastal Empire! Y'all make me feel good about coming back on the air now!

DANG ME...

If anyone has tried to contact me at my comcast address, it's no more for now. I couldn't open it for days and wound up hitting a button that deleted it. I am such a stupe sometimes. So, just use the adresss up on the top, samjohnson@gmail.com and it will get thru to me. Thanks.

And Now, A Word From Mr. Jerry Lewis...

Who has his take on the whole controversy between myself and Ivan. Really. Truly. It's Jerry. No Joke. We still pals, Ivan?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Double Sweet!

Napoleon


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Pandora!


I Like It, I Like It!!!


A pie fight has started between members of The League Of Savannah Bloggers. Ok, it's more like me and Ivan Schreve, he of Thrilling Days Of Yesteryear. It's not a big thing, really. Ok, it is. It's all about one man: Jerry Lewis.

Look at that face. Don'tcha just wanna squeeze him and hug him and love him and just eat him up? Who could not love Jerry? Well, there's lots of folks who don't. It's true. Maybe because he's too goofy, maybe because of an alleged ego. I don't care. The man made me laugh. It's the same thing folks say about Robin Williams, Jonathon Winters, Jim Carrey and others. They don't think they're that great. I think they're all wonderful. After all, we have to find someway to laugh, don't we?

I remember as a kid growing up watching Jerry and Dean Martin's films on Saturday afternoon on WSAV after babeball season. Each week at the same time, they would roll out one after another, in order that they were done. You could tell who things were evolving in Jerry's
carreer, from the first film ( "My Friend Irma") to the next. Then, after Dean left Jerry on his own, things got wild. Jerry started to experiment, sometimes for the good. I'm not saying everything was spectacular, but he had better moments on screen that some actors actually get. Really, try putting Jerry's "The Nutty Professor" against Eddie Murphy's. Eddie's was good. Jerry's was better.

After he did "The Family Jewels" in 1965, Jerry began to falter, in my opinion. No greater than that the way I see it is "The Day The Clown Cried" done in 1970, a very black comedy about a Jewish clown in Nazi Germany who helps to make the children in the concentration camps beforeleading them to their deaths. The films has never really been shown anywhere, probably for good reason. I've read about it a few times, but I don't think I'd like to go down that road at any point.

So, yeah. I know that Jerry Lewis has had his moments, good and bad. For me, I'll stick with the good. The mugging for the camera, the loud mouth, the crazy kid. If he cared that much to put it on the screen to make us laugh, then I'll be there to laugh like a nut.

One more thing. The Martin and Lewis team you saw on screen was a completely different couple of guys off the stage, humor wise. What I have for you is documented proof. This a blooper from a radio commercial they did for the film, "The Caddy". If you never heard this before, or really never heard cursing before, then this will blow you away. Not Safe For Work Or Kids, but funny as Hell. Oh, and thanks, Ivan. This is something I've aways wanted to talk about here and now I have the chance.Posted by Hello

When I Go, Bring Me Back As An Dancing Machine, Too

I'm not sure if this is gonna air during The Super Bowl or nolt, but you have to see this. Gene Kelly, poppin' and lockin'. I knew the man could dance, but dang...He's not a zombie now, is he?

Love for Loeb

A couple of days ago, I told you about comics writer and artist William Messner-Loebs and hid plight. Well, some other comic book pros are gettng together and holding an benifit auction for Loebs to help out. Well, that's alright now, ain't it?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

(post own post title here)

I know I should have posted a couple of things today since this is a non clinic day and all, but I needed to do some thinking today about what kinds of fund raisers I should have. I also tried to call a few folks today about getting together as a committee for these things, but no one has called me back. You know, if I were still married and had a wife that cared, she's probably kick me in the butt and say, "you'll get it done". It's a bit of a pain the ass sometimes when I feel like I'm doing this all for myself and the pride kicks in. I feel crappy having to ask folks to help support me on this, but it's not like I have 50,000 of my own dollars just laying around here. I wish I did have 50,000 bucks right now, actually. I'd go out and buy me a stainless steel double door refridgerator what makes ice on one door and Kool-Aid on the other. Oooh, and a Kenner Easy Show Projector like I had when I was a kid. I'm simple like that. But, I gotta think about that whole kidney thing so that's out.

That's the good thing about writing this blog. In the past few days, I know there've been lots of new folks checking in to see what I'm all about. I hope I've made good immpressions on you and I do hope you'll come back often. Yeah, I know. This is hokey and cheesey, but I really mean when I say thank you for keeping my spirits up by stopping by my little corner of Al Gore's Folly. Somedays, you guys are only the best friends I've got.

Oh, here's the website to The National Transplant Assistance Fund. I'm going to contact them in a couple of days so they can link to the blog and folks can go online to donate online. I sense a fundraiser coming up. Stay close.