The Person Of The Year Who Can Bite Me

This will probably be the last post I do for 2004, as I'll be very busy this weekend doing radio and club gigs. However, I figured I needed to do this. After hours of thinking and racking my brain on the person I can't stand the most this year, and believe me, there's alot of folks out there who just make me pure ill, I have decided to go with someone everyone can agree on. That's why at The Sam Johnson Institue of Technology and Drag Racing, we have our Person of the Year Who Can Bite Me. We were going to call it The Sam Johnson Johnson Person Of The Year Who Can Bite Me, Then Jump Off A Cliff Into An Ocean Filled With Sharks With Frickin' Lasers On Their Heads, but we couldn't find any lasers. So, without further ado ladies and gentlemen, our person...Paris Hilton. She makes skeevy women everywhere proud, huh?

That's right, you lady. You found fame with a good publicist and lots of dough. You wound up on every gossip page with your wacky antics and wild exploits and you made us all sick of you. Then, you did The Simple Life with Nichole Ritchie which proves to us that blonds aren't stupid. Stupid girls are real stupid. Don't even get me started on that tape of yours, Paris. Yes, I saw it. ONCE. You knew what you were doing when it came out. "One Night In Paris"? I'd rather spend it in a Super 8. In fact, you have ruined the family name and hotels. I'll be spending my time in broken down motel on I-95 than to stay in a Hilton from now on. At least you know the women are skeezy there. Stay away from television, Paris Hilton. And, BITE ME. With mustard.

Oh, and Happy New Year everyone! Stay alive in 2005!

FIRE AND ICE

Big up to my homies in Montna! What up, yo? I'm sendin' a shout out and this to y'all! Peace. Word life, y'all.

Don't get upset everyone. This is how they talk in Montana. They don't want you to know that, though. They're a quiet type of folk there.

Late Present

I forgot to link this, but still works for me. Here the boys frm Jib Jab with "Grumpy Santa".

Things I Learned From 2004

When Justin Timberlake tells a woman he'll have her naked by the end of his song, he means it.

Christopher Reeve will always be Superman. The next guy will have to live up to the cape.

If Ben Affleck keeps messing with women named Jennifer, his movies will forever SUCK.

Jesus is the biggest man in Hollywood today, until his points drop. Until then, hang on, Satan! Tom Hanks has a film for you!

I've seen all of Paris Hilton's work. She can't act in that one, either.

Lindsey Lohan is hot. Scary hot. WAAY too young for me hot. But, Bea Arthur doesn't do it for me anymore.

I did not watch "Friends". I did not watch "Sex in the City". I did not watch Tom Brokaw. I did watch "Angel". 'Cause it had vampires. Vampires could kick Monica's ass any day in my book.

Hey, Star Jones got married! Now, go have sex and lose weight.

Find me Ken Jennings. He may have one over 2 million in Jepardy, but I'll bet he still can't fight a cold, beat the clock, or whip inflation. Celebrity Boxing, here we come!

Which would you rather make out with: Fat, rich, slobby Anna Nichole, or Trim-Spa Crazy Anna Nichole? I'll have Kirstie Alley instead and take my chances.

Wanna bet Martha Stewart comes out of jail with a tattoo, a pimp cup, and a new name like "M-hard Love"?

The Red Soxs won the series, and Kerry gets the nomination for President. Boston still blows, no matter what.

I'd do a joke about President Bush, but I can't find what I need. Like Bush still can't find Osama! Thank you, thank you. We'll be here again for the midnight show. Now, here's Bananarama!

The Stuff I Lliked This Year

By now, everyone will have up on their website a best of 2004 list. Movies I can see, maybe TV and records. But, it's way too much. Why not say ONE favorite movie, ONE favorite TV show, and ONE favorite record, with a simple reason why they like it. So, with that said...

My Favorite Movie: Spider-Man 2. Because it had Spider-Man in it.

My Favorite TV Show: Arrested Development. Because wacthing dyfunctionaly, formerly wealthy people, other than watching The Jacksons, is funny.

My Favorite Record: Anything that DID NOT HAVE Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz. What's more stupid than seeing preppy shirt wearing white kids going, "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" in the club? Hearing them go, "Yeeah!". I gotta headache from it. I'm kickin' Chappelle's ass, then I'm kickin' their ass afterwards. Don't stop me. You know you want me to.

If you want a bigger list, then give me a TV show. I don't get paid for this webpage.

Bells on bobcat's...wings

Hey, we're back! I hope your Christmas worthwhile. What did you get? I got a dvd rack, a documentary on the Batman TV show, and a cool book called "The Action Hero's Handbook". I think that's my goal next year. Catching great white sharks, winning fights when I'm outnumbered, using the Jedi Mind Trick. I'll be fighting crime and becoming a International Adventurer in to no time. Thanks Jeff, Tina , Mike , and Wendy for all the gifts! I also got a cool card from Pandora I gotta share with you. Thank you so much, Pandora! You guys gotta see it. Have a look. Until then, tune in for The New Adventures Of Sam Johnson...Danger Man!

Enjoy Your Christmas

On the left of this page, you'll notice my Blogroll. Here, I've listed sites I visit often and enjoyed. To those listed, I thank you for making my year full of fun and laughter. Also, I want to thany you, dear reader, for stopping by and having a chuckle or two. Me, I'm gonna sit back and relax for a few before I have to go on the air all weekend. Yeah, it's a busy X-Mas for ol' Sam on WEAS FM . Sounds like fun. So, send time with your friends and family. Enjoy the season. I'll see you in couple of days. Take care.

I'm a Swanp Thing, Baby...I'ma Swamp al over you

Mike is giving away Swamp Thing trade paperbacks. Why? I dunno. Want one? Click here.

Here's How It Sounds, As Done By The Monkees...p.s. anyone who sends me an email address gets a copy. It's my gift to you.

My Favorite Christmas Song

RIU CHIU (traditional)

Riu riu chiu, la guarda ribera;
Dios guardo el lobo de nuestra cordera,
Dios guardo el lobo de neustra cordera.

El lobo rabioso la quiso morder,
Mas Dios poderoso la supo defender;
Quisola hazer que no pudiese pecar,
Ni aun original esta Virgen no tuviera.

Riu, riu chiu...
Este qu'es nacido es el gran monarca,
Christo patriarca de carne vestido;
Hemos redemido con se hazer chiquito,
Aunqu'era infinito, finito se hiziera.
Riu, riu chiu...

Translation:
River, roaring river, guard our homes in safety,
God has kept the black wolf from our lamb, our Lady.
God has kept the black wolf from our lamb, our Lady.

Raging mad to bite her, there the wolf did steal,
But our God Almighty defended her with zeal.
Pure He wished to keep Her so She could never sin,
That first sin of man never touched the Virgin sainted.

River, roaring river...
He who's now begotten is our mighty Monarch,
Christ, our Holy Father, in human flesh embodied.
He has brough atonement by being born so humble,
Though He is immortal, as mortal was created.
River, roaring river...

The Best News I Got All Day

First things first, I had to take the snow down. If I didn't, it would have been there forver and I would have forgotten how to take it down, which could have meant snow 365. Forget that.

But, this one is for the comic geek in you. Now, I know most of you, ok alot of you don't read comics anymore. It's changed so much since you were a kid that there's no need anymore. They were fun, had short stories, and bright pretty colors. Then, the guys in the office changed you superheroes and before you knew it, Batman became a Dark Knight, Wonder Woman never met Steve Trevor, and Superman married Lois. They grew up. Which sucks. Nobody wants to grow up.

Well, good news. Your comic books are back. You can be a kid again and your kids can stay kids. DC Comics is creating the All Star line with Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, and Superman. Here's the new writer of The Man Of Steel, Grant Morrison, who in my opinion is one of the best comic scribes around, giving his take on what going to happen. I think you may like it.

Winter Wonderland, My Butt

Ok, today is the first day of Winter, which I'm not too happy about living here in Savannah. See, I'm on the southern coast, which means I'm near the Atlantic Ocean. Sometimes during this time of year, we get winds blowing from the north , which is ususally nothing. This time around, the winds are getting chilly. I mean, frickin' colder than a Simon and Garfunkel reunion. Now, I know I have the friends in Montana that love it when it snows (no names, please), but I ain't even getting a flake! Plus, it looks like it make rain here on Christmas Day. Ho-ho-freakin' ho. I hope I get a good umbrella and a wind breaker for the holidays thanks to this.

And now, because he couldn't think up a good post, here's Sam Johnson as Wilfred Brimley

More Catch Phrases That Didn't Work

"Yaba-Daba-What The Frick?"
"A mind is a terrible thing to...Wait, come back to me for that. I forgot."
"Avengers, PROCREATE!"
"Vicotin, Baby!"
"Snap, Crackle, Wheeze!"
"Hey, hey, hey...It's Kirstie Alley!"
"I yam what I yam...Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Halmark...when you care enough to send your parents a cheap card during the holidays that you joined Al-queda."

I think I got a few more in me somewhere...

Merry Crimble and A Happy Goo Year

Here's something you can't get at Wal-Mart if your holiday shopping. Christmas Greetings from The Beatles. If you never heard them before, Ipromise, you're in for a treat. The vfirst four are actually funny and laugh out loud, but then slowly changes around 1967 as they progress musically. Download these MP3's and give them to Fab Four fan for the holidays. They'll thank you. Like, I'm thanking Andy for letting us know about it.

Christmas Memories

Good News

My old friend Matt Gallaher just come back from the road and has moved back in to the house! He's been on the road, doing work for Campbell's Soups and the NFL, of all things. So, for the next few months, The Real Sam Johnson Show is sponsered by new Chunky Chili. Please God, don't let the Eagles in my home.

Catch Phrases That Didn't Work

"That's my parabellum!"
"Holy Satan!"
" What you talkin''bout, Helen Keller?"
"To the future...then back to the recliner for some cheezits!"
"Bad touch!"
"Jumpin' dead Orson Wells on a pogo stick!"
"SPAAAAACE doody!"
"FOOOOOD!"

That's all I got. For now....

What I Want For Christmas

There are certain things men always want for Christmas, but never really get. Bottomless kegs of beer, a Corvette with frickin' lasers, monkeys, TWINS, and a robot. From the looks of it, we're getting closer and closer.

Are You Neutral Good?

Special thanks to Lachlan for this one. It suits me to a "T".

You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the 'goodest' thing possible. These people are willing to work with the law to accomplish their goal, but if the law is corrupt they are just as willing to tear it down. To these people, doing what's right is the most important thing, regardless of rules, customs, or laws. Neutral Good 90% Lawful Good 85% Chaotic Good 60% True Neutral 50% Lawful Evil 45% Lawful Neutral 40% Chaotic Neutral 35% Neutral Evil 35% Chaotic Evil 15% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

My Apple Cider Recipe

Why Radio Drives Me Crazy

I've been in radio since I was 16 years old. Since then, I seen it go from records to CD's to digital numbers like that. I love what I do now, just going in to the station, doing my show and just splitting when it's over. I don't have the time time to deal with paperwork, dealing with salesfolks and clients, listening to guys begging me to playing their crap on the air. So, as much as I love it, I also have problems with it as well. Free radio is right now in a major state of flux, what with the FCC fining everyone and Clear Channel taking over the business and loading it over everyone. Maybe satelite radio could be the new thing and possibly make broadcast radio straighten out and become a bit more flexible in how it's done.

Speaking of radio, here's my pal Strongbad with what I personally think why radio sounds bad today. It's dead on funny.

AT LAST, A POST ABOUT COMICS! A REAL GOOD POST!

This one is for Dorian, who complains so much, for Mike, who lives in California and for Rich, who's bollocks when I asked him for a photo of Stan Lee giving the finger.

Even though I don't work there on a regular basis anymore, I take time to help out my friend Fred Viles at his store, The Comic Box on Sundays while he sorts out the back issues of books he's left with. Usually, I'm up front taking care of the register helping customers with choices. On Sundays, we don't get the typical customers, just folks looking to pick up something special, which means it's a slow day.

On this day, which was yesterday, I got in late since I had a show on WEAS I had to do, which meant I had to keep watch until closing time, which is seven P.M. . Around 6, a customer showed up, which was good since I hadn't seen one for at least an hour. He looked around grabbed a copy of "Love & Rockets" and some other book. I never really thought about it or the guy until it was time to pay up with his credit card.

The guy's name was Daniel Way. Now, for those who don't read comics, Daniel is an up and coming writer who, unfortunately gets his books pushed back by Marvel Comics before they get published. The fact that he has an exclusive contract with the company doesn't help. If they don't get published, he doesn't get paid, which kinda bites. I should say at this point that it didn't surprise me that he would show up in the store. Savannah has become sort of a haven for new comic artist and writers, thanks to the Savannah College of Art and Design's Sequential Art program. That's "how to draw funny books" for those who think "sequential art" is too pretty.

Anywhoo, after I noticed his name, we started to talk shop. Now, out of niceness, he did tell me a few things that I can't really say. Not that he didn't tell me not to, but out of kindness for the man. I want Daniel to come back to the store. He did tell me that he wants to work on some independent comics soon and for the most part, even though his books are pushed back, he's happy doing the work he does for Marvel. I do have one thing I think I can share with you, however.

At one point, Daniel was to work on a miniseries about Ant-Man, which was scheduled but shelved due to the fact that the character was set to die in the unfortunate "Avengers Disassembled" storyline. For non comic readers, don't ask. It was a mess of a book. Nonetheless, although Ant-Man won't be coming back, the story will. Daniel is teaming up with television/comic writer J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5, Amazing Spider-Man) and retrofitting it for a miniseries for a charater named Tom Thumb, who is a part of the Squadron Supreme. As I said, for non comic readers, don't ask. It's all too much.

It was a pleasure meeting Daniel and I hope he does come back to the store soon. Me, I'm gonna sit back and read my copy of "Bullseye's Greatest Hits". Daniel wrote it. I should have gotten him to sign it, but it would bring down the value of the book. Good read, though...

Look what I got

Ladies and Getntleducks (as Daffy would say), presenting the trailer for Batman Begins. You may have to wait a moment while it downloads, but it's Windows Media and it is worth it. Watch in awe and leave comments before you go.

Adriene

I found out my kid sister Adriene is leaving for Iraq tomorrow. Adriene inlisted in the Army soon after she gave birth to her first daughter. She was 18 then. She had a different mother from me, since my father was a so called "gigolo", but somehow we became close. We
are brother and sister, after all. She moved in with my father around early '85 after an argument with her mother. I was getting ready to head off into the real world after graduating high school when she came in, which was great. Even though I had my father's other kids from his new wife there at the house, Adriene along with my kid brother Martin, were the only people I was comfortable with at that house. We were almost like The Dukes Of Hazard, with my stupid father as our Boss Hogg. With one around, the other wasn't far behind. We three try to keep as tight as we can, although I lost track of both Adriene and Martin after I got sick. But, we did our best to stay as close as possible.

I could go off on a rant about how I don't want her there and it's too much now that she has four kids. I could come up with a political arguement about Iraq and could throw in some things about the Bush goverment as well. Yes, I'm mad as hell and would love to beat the shit out of
something or someone right now. But, I can't. I know this is dumb, but the old "Superchicken"
cartoon theme had these words which kinda ring true in this case to anyone who signed up for the military before all of this went crazy: You knew the job was dangerous when you took it. Sometimes, a war happens. You gotta go fight. Nothing we can do here but pray we come out clean.

I called her a little while ago, but she wasn't there. I did talk to her last night for a few moments, but she couldn't stay on as her family was giving her a going away dinner. I told her how I felt, but I loved her very much and come home in eighteen months. It was bittersweet, but good. I know she'll be safe. God is watching her, along with the thousand or so other soldiers out there. I know it. I pray for it.

I could close this thing with a cheesy quote, but I think it would be shite. I just miss my baby sister right now and wish she were here so I could get a hug like the old days.

A Working Class Hero... 

For Johnny...

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I've loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you,
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
In my life I'll love you more.

Lennon/McCartney

"It was always John, Paul, George and Ringo, not Paul, John, George, and Ringo." Ozzy Osbourne
Merry Crimble, John

Here's my "Spanglish"...DAAAMN, MAMACITA!  

What do you wanna bet he made goofy noises when he saw casting pictures of Paz? 

Spanglish

First up, I hope you're enjoying the second day of Hanukkah, if you're Jewish, or you just want to light the candles. Second, I just found this on USA Today's Hip Clicks and I have to share it.

James L. Brooks is one of the best writer/directors in Hollywood today, since leaving television and making the leap towards motion pictures. I've seen "Broadcast News" and "As Good As It Gets". I've never really seen "Terms Of Endearment" and I'd rather see "I'll Do Anything" with those songs Prince wrote edited back in before I give an opinion. That part is true. But, I've just seen ten minutes of his new film, "Spanglish" and I am wowed. First, let's give it up for the wonderful dialogue. Brooks knows how to have a real conversation with his characters. They move and speak honestly.It's somethig he's known since The Mary Tyler Moore Show and it's stayed with him since. Next, the surprize performance from Adam Sandler. Of course, he has got give a toned down act in this film and he does it well as a man married to a Hollywood worrywort, played by Tea Leoni. What I've seen is no less than wonderful. This isn't Happy Madison, the Waterboy. This is more closer to his role in "First 50 Dates", only more relaxed and I enjoyed that film. What I love, or WHO I LOVE is Paz Vega as an Mexican housekeeper who only speaks Spanish with a young daughter who translates for her who somehow keeps Sandler's family together. Yes, I know she's HAWT, but Vega is a wonderul actress as well keeping her sanity in the insanity of it all.

I've only seen ten minutes of this, bu t I love it. I can't wait to see the whole thing in theaters. I think you'll love it, too. Have a look...

Why can't I write comic book reviews this good?

Self Hug

I finally celebrated the fact that I made it to the transplant list today. I went out to get the window fixed (it's not in, so I have to go back on Thursday), I went to get my new dentures made up ( I overslept, so I have to go back on Thursday), I lost my driver's licence, so I had to get a new one made, only to find out that I left it at the radio station earlier, and I couldn't buy anything from Media Play, even though I had my credit card, I had no ID to prove it was me. But, I did call up Jeff and Tina and told them to meet me at Sushi Zen, where they saw me and my EX WIFE and we had a great dinner together. Don't get it twisted. I took my ex with me since I owed her a few bucks, so I promised her I'd take her out for dinner...NOTHING ELSE. Plus, she and Tina were really good friends when we were married and they haven't seen each other in awhile. Everyone had a good time, but most of all I got to be around good friends and sushi. What more could a guy ask for?

Grammy, Scrammy....

In case you werewondering, here's what the Grammys are looking like for next year's non vioelnt awards show. That is, if Kanye West doesn't get one.

The Late, Late Show Has Started...For real, this time

Mr. Wick is the new host. Comments?

What Would My X-Man Name Be?

I've got a busy day tomorrow. I gotta pay bills, get the car window fixed, get some DVD's (I'm buyin' "Dodgeball". That's right. F' Netflix. If I wanna see it, I'll buy it. If it sucks, my bad. Not one clunker in the bunch.) I've also gotta go to the dentist again, but this time I finally get fitted for the new one. I can't wait. There's one problem, though. I have an extra set of teeth growing over the others. Not a full set, mind you, but just enough. It's kinda freaky looking at my x-rays. It's like watching "Aliens", when they get all up in Sigourny Weaver's face and shoot out the other fangs. Or like, when a guy transforms into a vampire by having his fangs grow out of his mouth. Very creepy.

My gums after the surgury have healed nicely, however I can almost feel the other teeth under it. It feels freaky. I'm expecting them to just pop out like Wolverine in case of trouble, or if I get a full moon, that receding hairline I've got becomes a major pompadour and those fangs comeapoppin'. It's something I have to live with, so I guess It's my little mutation. Some folks have webbed toes, others can bend their fingers backwards. I got the extra teeth. Just call me Sam the Shark!

Blog Watch

Pandora is celebrating her 24th wedding anniversary. Congrats!

Mark Evanier talks about how far games shows have gone from Charles Van Doren to Ken Jennings.

Mike Sterling has been working on Progressive Ruin now for a year. Jim Belushi has had his TV show on for your years now. I like Mike's Ruin better.

I see that Monkey has returned. Glad to have you back, ol' bean. Here's a banana.

Here's how The Incredible Hulk spent Thanksgiving.

Redneck Diva explains why men should nevber wear makeup. It hurts.

David was nominated for a Weblog Award, but didn't become a finalist. We believe in you, David. Keep up the good work.

Let's welcome Andy Baio's Waxy.org, Mr. Chair, and The Most Evil Blog In The World to the Blog Roll!

And, just in case you think I'm being lazy today (which I am), here's a link to post I wrote last year about African Americans in early television and Amos and Andy. Enjoy them all!

Sam Johnson's Luck

Last night was the annual christmas party for Cumulus Broadcasting, the company that owns WEAS FM, the station I work for. I didn't get an invitation, but I went since my friend Jeff McDermott was just hired as their new production director and he asked me to go with him and his wife, Tina. I hate these parties, because they all talk shop and for the most part, it's dead. You would think that a radio station party would be wild and crazy. Nope. No strippers, no loud music, nothing.

They did have a raffle at the door however, with door prizes. I figured just to feel like I'm part of the company, I'd buy a few tickets, which I did. For the most part during the party, I walked around and shook a few hands, but stayed near Jeff and Tina. Other than a few of jocks, no one really knew who I was, which was fine. They had a lovely dinner, but I had to leave for work at the Bar Bar at nine. I left my tickets with Tina and did the club thing, thinking to myself I won't miss the company party. I got hot chicks showing up soon.

Later at the bar, I see my program director from WEAS, Sam Nelson show up, with him telling me that he has something for me. It turned out that after I left, they drew tickets for the raffle and I won. I noticed that there were boxes there and that I ould have won one, but Sam came in empty handed. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out and envelope containing two hundred and fifty three dollars in cash. As it turned out, they also had a cash prize with all the money raised from the raffle. When my name was called out, Tina freaked out with joy, but told them that I had left. The company said that since I wasn't there, that I shouldn't recieve it at first, but since Tina was holding the tickets for me, I deserve it. Sam Nelson drank Seven and & 7's on me for the rest of the night.

I also won a dinner for two a some fancy restaurant as well as a door prize, but I have to go pick that up at the office on Monday. I know when I show up to get it, I am gonna get some major stares from the sales office. Suckers.

Did I mention that I made it to the National Transplant List? This makes up for the car getting broken into. Life is good. See, there's a plan for everyone.

THIS IS IMPORTANT! LISTEN...

Rock This Week

For anyone who cares about Rock and Roll, with occasional notes from me, in bold.

In 1957, Ed Sullivan airs the TV debuts of Sam Cooke singing "You Send Me," and Buddy Holly and the Crickets performing "That'll Be the Day"...
1965, the infamous blue flame strikes Keith Richards down on a stage in Sacramento when he grabs an ungrounded mic ... the indestructible Stone is on his feet and performing again inside of seven minutes...He spoke intelegibly for five seconds.
1967, Hank Snow's son, Jimmie F. Rodgers, cracks up his car and is found with a fractured skull ... he will survive, but his career is over...
1968, Graham Nash quits the Hollies ... three days later he announces the formation of Crosby, Stills and Nash...
1969, this week sees the infamous Altamont Speedway concert with the Rolling Stones; Jefferson Airplane; Santana; and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young on the playbill ... violence erupts and four people are killed, at least two in deliberate bloody assaults...
1970, a gold record goes to Mike Bloomfield, Al Kooper, and Steve Stills for Supersession, an album they put together out of an extended studio jam session...
1970, the documentary film Gimme Shelter, documenting the 1969 Stones tour and the Altamont debacle, is released on the occasion of the fateful concert's anniversary...
1971, The Montreux Casino in Geneva, Switzerland, catches fire during a show by the Mothers of Invention, inspiring Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water"...
1972, Carly Simon releases "You're So Vain," a song which sets the whole country to wondering exactly who is so insufferably vain ... candidates for the post include Carly's relatively recent famous conquests Mick Jagger (who sang on the record), Cat Stevens, Kris Kristofferson, and Warren Beatty ... when asked if she's "gone with" Beatty she says, "Hasn't everybody?" ... "I felt I was one among thousands at that point--it hadn't reached, you know, the populations of small countries" ... but, despite anything you may have heard to the contrary, Simon has never revealed who she had in mind when she wrote that song...
1973, the Who and friends trash a hotel suite to the tune of $6,000 in damages and spend a night in the pokey for their troubles ... John Entwistle later writes a song about the occasion, "Cell Block Number Seven"...
1976, during a Battersea Power Station photo shoot for the cover of Pink Floyd's Animals, a 40-foot helium-filled pig breaks loose from its moorings and floats up to an estimated 18,000 feet before finally touching down in Kent...It now co- hosts The Best Damn Sports Show, Period. Anytime I can throw in a Tom Arnold joke in, then it's a good day.
1976, Bob Marley and the Wailers are rehearsing at Marley's house in Kingston, Jamaica when seven gunmen appear and shower the house with a hail of gunfire...Marley, wife Rita, and manager Don Taylor are all hit but miraculously nobody is seriously injured ... the band plays a gig two nights later...
1976, the Sex Pistols' Glenn Matlock uses the F word during an English TV interview and the resulting uproar proves that the Brits can be every bit as priggish and sanctimonious as the Yanks ... most of the Pistols' upcoming gigs are cancelled and by the next month they can't book a date anywhere in the U.K....
1978, Ian Drury--the hot new British new waver--releases "Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick," which will sell two million copies worldwide and hit number one in the UK without ever charting in the U.S.... When was the last time you hit your rhythm stick, huh?
1986, Annie Lennox, lead singer for the Eurythmics, gets so carried away at a concert in Birmingham, England that she rips off her bra, which is the only thing covering her breasts ... this does not cause a national scandal...As it was Annie Lennox.
1993, revered rock weirdo, musical wizard, and spokesman for lyrical freedom Frank Zappa meets his demise from prostate cancer at the young age of 53... Did anyone ever hear the rumor that he was the son of Mr. Greenjeans? He wasn't, of course.

Births
December 1: Billy Paul (1934), Lou Rawls (1935), Eric Bloom of Blue Oyster Cult (1944), John Densmore of The Doors (1944), Bette Midler (1945), Jaco Pastorius (1951), Japan's Steve Jansen (1959), Brad Delson of Linkin Park (1977)
December 2: Tom McGuinness of Manfred Mann (1941), Michael McDonald (1952), Joe Henry (1960), Def Leppard's Rick Savage (1960), Nate Mendel of Foo Fighters (1968), Jay-Z (1970), Nelly Furtado (1978), Britney Spears (1981)
December 3: pop crooner Andy Williams (1930), Ralph McTell (1944), Ozzy Osbourne (1948), "Buffalo" Bruce Barlow of Commander Cody (1948), Mickey Thomas of Starship (1949), Molly Hatchet's Duane Roland (1952), Steve Forbert (1955), Montell Jordan (1971)
December 4: film singer Deanna Durbin (1922), Freddy Cannon aka Anthony Picariello (1940), Chris Hillman of The Byrds (1942), Bob Mosely of Moby Grape (1942), Beach Boy Dennis Wilson (1944), Southside Johnny (1948), Gary Rossington of Lynyrd Skynyrd (1951), Bob Griffin of The BoDeans (1959), Vinnie Dombroskie of Sponge (1962)
December 5: Little Richard (1935), J.J. Cale born Jean Jacques Cale (1938), Jim Messina (1947), Great White's Jack Russell (1960), Johnny Rzeznik of Goo Goo Dolls (1965)
December 6: Broadway lyricist Ira Gershwin (1896), Dave Brubeck (1920), Mike Smith of The Dave Clark Five (1943), Kim Simmonds of Savoy Brown (1947), Joe X. Dube of Looking Glass (1950), Jam's Rick Buckler (1955), Peter Buck of R.E.M. (1956), Randy Rhoads (1956), Dave Lovering of The Pixies (1961), Ben Watt of Everything but the Girl (1962), Ace of Base's Ulf Ekberg (1970)
December 7: Harry Chapin (1942), Tom Waits (1949), Tim Butler of The Psychedelic Furs (1958), Barbara Weathers of Atlantic Starr (1963), All Saints' Nicole Appleton (1974), Aaron Carter (1987)

Deaths

December 1: jazz violinist Stephane Grappelli (1997), Lee Dorsey (1986), Westside Chicago bluesman Magic Sam aka Sam Maghett (1969), bluegrass guitarist Carter Stanley (1966)
December 2: guitarist/composer Michael Hedges (1997), Aaron Copland (1990), folk singer David Blue (1982)
December 3: jazz pianist Mal Waldron (2002)
December 4: Frank Zappa (1993), Deep Purple's Tommy Bolin (1976)
December 5: Douglas Hopkins of the Gin Blossoms (1993), multi-instrumentalist jazz behemoth Rahsaan Roland Kirk (1977)
December 6: Roy Orbison (1988), Leadbelly (1949)
December 7: composer John Addison (1998)

Thanks, Andy.

My Car

I bought a 1993 Ford Escort in 1998 after an accident which made me lose my beloved 1983 red Izuzu Impulse. Jan and I wanted to to have more of a family car, so we got the Escort. No more than 6 months later, I was in an accident which damaged the complete passenger side. The doors or windows would never be able to open. I got a check from the insurance agency to fix it, but bills were piling up so much when I was married, I had to pay them off and never got the car fixed. When Jan left me in 1999, I wound up with the car. Up until I both the computers, it was the only real possession I owned.

This morning as I was walking out of the house to go to dialysis, I saw that the small back window on the driver's side had been broken into. I didn't really have anything in the car to take. just a black felt cowboy hat and a little change in a little cup. Nothing major, but it was the principle of the thing. My car... MY CAR. My car was broken into. It had never happened to me before. I've never been robbed physically. This was wrong.

I called the police and five minutes later, someone came out and took the report. They told me that I would have to go out to one of the police stations to have the car fingerprinted, which I did. I was very late for dialysis, but I didn't really care.

It was around 2:30 when I finally showed up at the clinic, but I had to replace the broken glass were the window was. So, I got some cardboard and some thick tape and sealed it the best way that I could. It won't really stop anyone else from breaking in, but at least I know there's nothing there for them to take. I hope.

I feel violated. The fact that someone would go into my private property and take what is mine is wrong. How dare the thief do that to me. I'm angry, upset, and tired all at the same time. It's not pimped out. All it does is take me to dialysis and back, for the most part. I hope the God the police find out who did it. Please, God. Don't let this man walk free from this.

My Guilty Pleasure

I never wanted to post this. I thought it would be goofy if I did. But, I've been doing this blog for awhile now, so it's ok to talk about it. Now, everyone has a guilty pleasure. Whether it's a sex fetish or a food fetish. Some like to eat chocolate ice cream while watching the rain. Some love to walk barefoot over fresh new carpet. Anyone's carpet. Some love to watch "Desperate Housewives", which I've only seen one show. It was good, but it ain't my kinda show. As a kid, my mom, bless her, had a thing for the "Guiding Light"in the late 70's-early 80's. Does anyone remeber Roger Bauer? Aww, the good times of coming home from school, and tuning in with mom. At first, it was just a ploy for me to get to the TV fast enough from my kid brother so I could watch "Space Giants" and "Battle Of The Planets" without him monopolizing the set. Soon, I became caught up in sex, life, death, evil twins, babies growing up to be full adults within a year, et al. The power of of the soap was amazing to me.

When I got older, I got back into soaps with "Days Of Our Lives". Just one name sealed the deal: Patch. Man, he was the coolest dude ever! Ok, so he was a bad guy at first who raped Kayla, then turned out to be a bad assed loner guy with a heart of gold. But, the guy rocked. I was into that show for the longest time, until they took the Patch away. I haven't looked at a soap since 1989.

My thing is TV. I can't help it. It's how I was brought it. You've read all the clinical reports. So I must have a guilty pleasure with it, right? Of course I do. I have taken my love for the soaps, mixed in some "Degrassi High", with just a touch of "Space Giants". What have I got?

POWER RANGERS.

The first time they hit the air in 1993, I was hooked. Five super powered teens. Robots. Martial arts. MEN IN SUITS. It just don't get no better than that.

There have been over TEN different shows. Honestly, I never really watched Power Rangers Wild Force, because I thought it looked stupid. But, I did watch them all. I wait patiently to find out who will be the mysterious Bad Ass Sixth Ranger? What color will he be? What type of Zord will he command?

Of all of the Rangers, my favorite one was Tommy Oliver. He was a bad guy during the very first show. That would be Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, of course. He started out as The Green Ranger, but somehow it worked out that was just possessed by an evil spirit. He then went over to the side of good and forced out the Red Ranger, actor and all, to become the new leader. He then went on to leading three different types of Rangers, until he left the show. After not inding any acting work for a few years, Tommy got a Doctorate degree in anthropology and now mentors Power Rangers Dino Thunder as The Black Ranger. Wow.

There are some Rangers that do well after the costumes are taken away, but they're still Rangers. There was one who was on "Felicity" as her best friend. No, not the Black girl, the other one. The one who left after two years and thought she would go on to bigger things. No way, lady. You were The Pink Ranger. Take one step back, Kimberly.

There's a new band of Rangers coming in February, Power Rangers SPD, set at least 15 years in the future, where aliens and human live together on Earth fighting Men In Suits. Just like the others, I'll probably watch it and get caught up into it. I promise: It maybe as cheesy as Wisconsin, but you'll get swept up in the fun just as I did. Dammit.