Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Things To Do Today...

Go to dentist to let him see my gums.
Buy Spider-Man 2.
Read Comics I bought two weeks ago.
Box up comics I bought three months ago.
Clean apartment.
Go to supermarket, buy food I can actually eat, not slurp on.
Get rid of beard.
Find out why the fireplace gives out more smoke than heat.
Contemplate watching "The Real Gilligan's Island".
Fall asleep during "Late, Late Show".

Sounds like I'm in a rut, ain't it?

Monday, November 29, 2004

Once More About TV Lists

I finally went to Bravo to see what they had for The Number One TV Character of All Time. You know at some point in five years, someone will update that. At any point, Archie Bunker was named number one, while Ralph Cramden was named number two. This blows.

As of now, I am sick of tv lists. Did Bravo even mnention how the thier list was combined? Who does VH1 talk to0 when they put together their little lists? They never really say. We just sit there and just argue later about it. Well, I'm tired of arguing about it. I know TV Guide had their lists of greatest TV shows and "Seinfeld" was picked as number one. I love that show, but I wold have never had picked it. I dunno...maybe the common man or woman really doesn't have a say in this.

Why don't we come up with The Common Man's Top Ten Favorite Tv Characters? Fellow bloggers, rally along with me! Let's come up with our own list of what we think is right! Let's unite our readers and and create a list even TV Land would be proud of. If they didn't screw up up their programming and add "Baywatch" to the lineup.

And that's another problem I have. TV blows.

By the way, I tried to Google 100 greatest tv charaters, but I got this.

Update: Now, here's a TV list I can get behind. The 100 most underappreciated TV characters.

Friday, November 26, 2004

NUMBER 64?!

Who the Hell does Bravo think is going to accept Andy Taylor as the 64th favorite Television Character? I know I'm not. Laverne AND Shirley at number 42? The ENTIRE CAST of "Friends" at number 46? Forget this crap. This is the stupidest countdown I have ever seen. Who did they even ask to put this together? What do you want to bet Urklel's in the top ten?

Thursday, November 25, 2004

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

So, what are you doing Thanksgiving Day?

Me, I have an show to do for E-93 from 2pm to 6pm. I mentioned before, no one really invited over for chew turkey, so I just thought that I may as well make some extra bucks that day. Plus, I bought a turkey breast, so it's not like I'm missing out, I suppose. Besides, I don't have to fight with anyone over who gets the wishbone.

I alos found out that the Bar Bar wants me to come in and spin for them tonight since they won't be open tomorrow. It's raining now, so nI have a feeling that it's gonna be a quiet night there, so I can get some sleep and catch the Macy's Parade in the morning.. Oh, and just because it's a holiday doesn't mean that I'm not posting Thursday. Nope, look for a couple of Audioposts for Turkey Day. So, have fun with all the prep for tomorrow. I'll see you then.

TO THE BATPOLES!

I think I we're about to get the greatest christmas present...EVER.

Coming online christmas day is a new CGI short, "Batman: New Times", a student film which was done with cooperation with DC Comics and Art Asylum toys, with an all star cast, featuring Dick Van Dyke as Commissioner Gordon, Cortney Thorne-Smith as Catwoman, Mark Hammill as The Joker, and...

Wait for it...

ADAM WEST AS THE BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AWW, HELL YEAH!!

Ok, most of you are saying, "The last time you wrote about Uncle Batman, you were saying how he was a part of that whole 70's 'Legends Of The Superheroes' thingie and how much he screwed that up". I never said he screwed it up. Ok, maybe I did. But still, the man was my hero when I was growing up, and after all the movies and animated series that's happened, I, along with millions of other geeks out there, even West, have wondered how TV's first Batman would play him today. This looks like a picture perfect voice cast, if that makes any sense. I can't wait to unwrap this on X-mas. Here's a clip. Fanboys, try not to drool on the keyboard.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Ya Big Dummy

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Where's Gunther Toody? ( A shout out to whomever knows what show he's from.)

I'm just finding out that Bravo is veering away from gay-centric televison for a few days (not that there's anything wrong with that) with the countdown show, "The 100 Greatest TV Characters Of All Time". Interesting, since time can be incomplete, but that's neither here nor there. I watched tonight's show, which went from 80 to 60, while missing 100-81 and finding out that DAN FIELDING FROM "NIGHT COURT" WAS RANKED IN THE 70'S ! WTF?! He has to be at least ranked in the mid teens, in my opinion. Also, Bravo isn't putting their list on thier website, which means I will never find out who's number one, since I'll be out of the house during the nights after Wednesday. So, screw 'em. Let's make up our own list of favorite TV Characters. Want to know my favorite? Check out the Audiopost above, which I personally got this guy to do, which was kinda hard to get since the guy who played him is as dead as Joyce DeWitt's tv carreer.

Monday, November 22, 2004

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Some Thoughts

I haven't followed the NBA in the past few weeks, until Friday night when Ron Artest decided to slug it out with fans in Detroit. I lived there when I was a teen years ago and one thing I learned whike I was there, Detroit fans are very loyal. So, when one guy thru the cup of beer down on Atrest, who was lying on the Piston's sidelines out of protest for a flagrent foul, it was on. Sure, it was a dumb thing for a fan to do, but Artest went beyond player/fan interaction by attacking them physically. Then, to have te rest of the Indiana Pacers jump on the bandwagon and fight it out with fans as well was just plain stupid. The members involved deserve indefinite suspention, but the fans as well should also remember something as well: It's only a game.

I did my air shirf today on E-93 and I'm also set to do a special show on Thanksgiving day. No worries, really. No one invited me to their house for dinner. Which means I'mgoing to sneak to my brother Anthony's place to mooch. They'll expect it.

Speaking of radio, did anyone catch Howard Stern on Letterman this week, explaining why he's leaving broadcast radio for satelite? His point: 25 years ago, everyne said that they would never pay for television, and look at it now. Plus, now the FCC is planning on fining not only the radio stations that run what they consider "bad taste" material, but disc jockeys as well. I don't do blue on radio, and I don't have the money to pay the fines, either. What have I gotten myself into? Will I still have a job if five years if Stern is right in saying pay radio will destroy what little free radio is now? Will I be able to get a job at Sirius when the time comes? Or, am I now the last of a dying breed?

As you can tell, I'm trying to get back into the blog again. It's been a tough road the past few days, what with the dentist and all, but I think I'm okay now. Oh, and remember all the venom I was spewing due to the fact that the job wasn't getting done fast enough and thatt the dentist didn't really care? That Thursday night after the surgury, I was still in a good drug enduced state when I got a phone call from Dr. Moore. He wanted to make sure that I wasn't having any complications and felt ok and to remind me that I should come in on Tuesday for a follow up visit. Whoa. How many doctors do you see doing that these days? That's alright.

I just bought the Pee Wee's Playhouse season one box set. It's pretty good. No commentary or behind the scenes stuff on it, which is a shame. But, it has one half of the entire series, plus never before seen episodes. Plus, I only paid 25 bucks for it, so in all, it ain't to bad to see Phil Hartman and Cowboy Morpheus again.

I also boght a used Philips home theater system with a dvd player. The first thing I played on it to test it out? "Blazing Saddles". You know I hadda do it. "Take this boys, in lew of the other thing." " That's Hedley." "Are we alright?" "I don't know. Are we...Black?" "It's twue...Oh, it's twue." Mel Brooks said on a classic "Later With Bob Costas" ( I miss that show) that there was one more line in that scene Clevon Little gave that was unfortunaly cut, but whould have brought the house down even more. "Madam, you are sucking on my arm." Priceless. Comments, anyone?

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this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, November 20, 2004

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Friday, November 19, 2004

What Hydrocordone Means To Me

I gotta be honest. I'm so glad I got the teeth pulled. It needed to be done. Do you know how long it's been since I had a candy apple? A good, bad steak? Nails?! It's been driving me nuts for months and now, it's over. The best thing though is the DRUGS.

I don't condone drug use. I could care less what you do to your body. But, when the dentist makes up for all the Hell and pain you've been through by prescribing legal drugs, then life is wonderful. Me, I got some hydrocodone yesterday after staggering away from the office. My ex wife was the lucky victim to take me to Dr. Moore's office at 8am. She was very cool about it. I imagined her in the lobby just laughing her ass off knowing that I would be in pain for days. Little did she know about THE DRUGS.

At first, they strapped me down in the chair so I wouldn't run. I was afraid at first, but then, the little angel on my shoulder comforted me and told me in a tiny little voice, "It's ok, Sammy. THE DRUGS will be here soon". Then, I felt them place a mask over my face. Was this it? are they going to take me out? Is this the end? Nope. Just laughing gas. The real drugs were soon coming.

Soon, they ran an I.V. into my arm. At last, sweet release. I dreamed of monkeys in fighter planes shooting down evil lizards on their quest to take over Pam Anderson's bazookas. I never knew who won, 'cause I was really staring at Pam the whole time. But, the next thing I remember was I was home on the couch and the ex had a gift for me. She had gone to the Pharmacy and gotten me something special. DRUGS!! I got my hydrocodone! It was like a kid getting ice cream after his toncils were taken out!!

Since then, no pain whatsoever. The swelling has gone down and I'm ready to play DJ again. I've put the pills in a special place in case I ever go thru the hurt once more. Remember folks, legal drugs are your friends, but they can hurt you. So, be very careful. As for me, I'm one step away from being SEXY again. When that day comes, watch out flying lizards! Pam's hooters are as good as safe in my hands!

What? No Emmit Otter!?

Just to let you know, the swelling has gone down. I still can't eat solid food yet, though. I hope to God I can at least get a good Thanksgiving meal outta the deal, if I ever get invited to go to one. Ehhh. Until then, I just found another good reason to have the internet in our lives. Moi is the happiest man on the face of Gaston Street. I'll audioblog around 9:30pm, E.T.BTW to let you hear how bad I talk now with less teethes. I'm on the air this weekend and I don't wanna sound like Fred Sanford.

This Week In Rock!

I'm feeling a bit better. The pain is mostly gone, thanks to GREAT DRUGS (!), but the sweilling is still there. So, in lew of not posting today I decided to bring you my good friend Andy Pena's This Week In Rock. He's probably has one of the best memories in the world when it comes to rock trivia and is a damn good guitarist in his own right. So I hope he doesn't mind if I share this with the world. Maybe I can con him into doing this once a week for the blog. Anyone have a mint condition Johnny Lighting carry case or a Captain Action they wish to part with?

This the week that was in matters musical...
1889, the first jukebox debuts at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco...
1955, RCA Victor pens the deal of the century, signing Elvis Presley away from Sun Records for $40,000...
1956, Fats Domino appears on the Ed Sullivan Show performing his hit, "Blueberry Hill"...
1957, a Chicago chapter of the Elvis Presley Fan Club pickets radio station WCFL for banning Elvis records from the air ... the station ignores them and sticks to its ban ...
1959, Alan Freed won't say he never accepted payola and is canned from WABC television in New York for refusing to tell a lie...
1960, it's a big week for Ray Charles who has four songs in the Hot 100: "Georgia On My Mind," "Ruby," "Hard Hearted Hannah," and "Come Rain or Come Shine"...
1961, the country's twist fever has inspired a number of movie companies to sign up twist artists for twist movies ... Chubby Checker inks with a British-American film company ... Joey Dee & the Starlighters are tapped by Paramount for Hey, Let's Twist, and Dion is signed to star in a Columbia film Twist Around the Clock ... all are hoping to cash in on what has become an international craze...
1966, Spinout premiers ... it is Elvis Presley's 22nd film and just like all the others, makes some money but fails to enhance The King's reputation as a fine actor...
1968, The Jimi Hendrix Experience ... Electric Ladyland goes gold this week, the band's third gold album in a row...
1970, Jerry Lee Lewis and Myra Brown call it splitsville in Memphis ... the marriage had stirred some controversy because they are cousins and she was fourteen when they married ... according to the former Mrs. Lewis, the marriage "had become a nightmare"...
1971, B.B. King celebrates his 25th year of playing the blues, marking the occasion with a concert in London, the start of a European tour...
1978, Linda Ronstadt's anthology A Retrospective goes gold this week ... it is her eighth album to reach gold status...
1981, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Ronnie Wood realize a dream when they jam with blues giants Muddy Waters and Buddy Guy at Chicago's Checkerboard Lounge ... it was Waters' "Rollin' Stone" that inspired the band's name...
1987, U2 opens for U2 at a Los Angeles concert, performing as a country-rock band, The Dalton Brothers...
1988, Phil Collins makes his screen debut in a starring role when the film Buster opens this week ... his first screen appearance was as an extra in A Hard Day's Night...
1990, David Crosby crashes his motorcycle breaking his leg, ankle, and shoulder ... he apparently was speeding and wore no helmet...
1990, Paul McCartney's birth certificate is sold at auction ... it fetches $18,000...
1995, The Rolling Stones become the first band to broadcast a concert via the Internet ... The Beatles release Beatles Anthology I and set a first-day sales record, moving 450,000 albums ... Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day earns his rock credentials by lowering his trousers on stage in Milwaukee ... the stunt gets him arrested and eventually fined $141...
2001, Britney Spears performs for her first TV concert, "Britney Spears: Live from Las Vegas" on ABC...
and that was the week that was.
Arrivals
November 17: Gordon Lightfoot (1938), Gene Clark of The Byrds (1941), Bob Gaudio of The Four Seasons (1942), Martin Barre of Jethro Tull (1946), Jim Babjak of The Smithereens (1957), RuPaul (1960), Ben Wilson of Blues Traveler (1967), Ronny DeVoe of Bell Biv DeVoe (1967), Isaac Hanson of Hanson (1980)
November 18: Sir William Gilbert of the Gilbert and Sullivan writing team (1836), Eugene Ormandy (1899), Imogene Coca (1908), Hank Ballard (1927), Herman Rarebell of The Scorpions (1949), Graham Parker (1950), John McFee of The Doobie Brothers (1953), Michael Ramos of The BoDeans (1958), Kim Wilde (1960), Kirk Hammett (1962), Duncan Sheik (1969)
November 19: Tommy Dorsey (1905), Ray Collins of The Mothers of Invention (1937), Pete Moore of The Miracles (1939), Graham Parker (1950), Matt Sorum of Guns N' Roses (1960), Tamika Scott of Xscape (1977)
November 20: Dick Smothers (1939), Norman Greenbaum (1942), Duane Allman (1946), Joe Walsh (1947), George Grantham of Poco (1947), Jim Brown of UB40 (1957), Todd Nance of Widespread Panic (1962), Mike "D" Diamond of the Beasty Boys (1965), Sen Dog of Cypress Hill (1965), Q-Tip of A Tribe Called Quest (1970)
November 21: Coleman Hawkins (1904), Malcolm John Rebennack AKA Dr. John (1941), Lonnie Jordan of War (1948), Bjork (1965), Blur's Alex James (1968), Pretty Lou of Lost Boyz (1974), Kelsi Osborn of SHeDAISY (1984)
November 22: Hoagy Carmichael (1899), Benjamin Britten (1913), Foghat's Rod Price (1940), Floyd Sneed of Three Dog Night (1943), Aston "Family Man" Barrett (1946), E Street Band's Little Steven Van Zandt (1950), Tina Weymouth of Talking Heads (1950), Craig Hundley (1953), Jason Ringenberg of Jason & the Scorchers (1958), Rasa Don of Arrested Development (1968)
November 23: Harpo Marx (1888), Betty Everett (1939), Bruce Hornsby (1954), Charlie Grover of Sponge (1966), Ken Block of Sister Hazel (1966), Kurupt of The Dogg Pound (1972)
Departures
November 17: John Glascock of Jethro Tull (1979)
November 18: Doug Sahm (1999), Cab Calloway (1994), Tom Evans of Badfinger (1983), Danny Whitten of Crazy Horse (1972), Little Junior Parker (1971)
November 20: Ronald Alphonso of the Skatalites (1998)
November 22: Michael Hutchence of INXS (1997)
November 23: Junior Walker (1995), Tommy Boyce (1994), Roy Acuff (1992), Tom Evans of Badfinger (1983)

Thursday, November 18, 2004

It's Over...

I know have holes where My teeth were. They were taken out around 10:30 am. EST . There were only five survivors. I'm going to pass out now.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

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All Falls Down


What we have here is a case of sour apples with Kanye West. After losing Best New Artist to Gretchen Wilson at the American Music Awards, Kanye walked into the press room and gave this statement.

"I was robbed. I refuse to give a politically correct bull.... answer because I make this music from my heart. I remember riding in the rain, not having any money, no one listening to me. I was the best new artist this year. ... If I'm not here next year for political reasons, you have the opportunity to hear my music in the stores."

The way the A.M.A's goes is simple. The winners are chosen by radio play charted by Radio & Records magazine and Soundscan, which tracks sales of recording artists. So, while Kanye may have a really good record, Gretchen Wilson had one that actually outsold his. Now, I've never heard Gretchen's stuff before, but I'm not much of a country guy. She's probably a wonderful singer, just like Kanye's a great rapper/producer. But, if Kanye pulls this crap at the Grammys, look for him to do raps for string cheese commercials. We know the literally blood, sweat, and tears you put into the album, Kanye. But, there are other awards, man. You'll do it next time. Posted by Hello

Monday, November 15, 2004

You knew this would happen...

Yahoo! News - Secretary of State Powell Resigns

What's the matter with me?

I know I haven't been blogging for a few days. I didn't know what to say over the weekend. I guess I've been angry over not being able to go to the dentist like I want and I'm frustated. Plus, a lot of things have been happening globally the past few days, and I've been wanting to just talk about it, but everyone else online has either written what I wanted to say or better. The whole Scott Petterson thing? I just had to stick my twwo cents in just so I could say I had something online. There's so much going on out there, but there are much better writers getting it out there. I haven't even thought about an audioblog as of late. I know I said once that you have a responsibility when you have a blog, so why am I know writing? I hope things get back to normal by Monday night after dialysis. Maybe my health problems are finally catching up with me. I dunno. I'm sorry, everyone.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Give 'em The Chair...Or, Better Still, A Cellmate Named Bubba...With The Herp.

So, I'm at the clinic today and all the TV's are all set on CNN waiting to hear the verdict of Scott Peterson. Why? The guy was a guilty prick who deserves everything he gets from this point on, shower love and all. When he sat there with his laywer, Peterson had this look of content, thinking he won the thing , according to reports. Nuh-huh, sucker. You're not getting away this time. They didn't need any audio feed to let us know he did it. Any ass that's going to lie on national television, then run off to Mexico days later with a wad of cash is just plain guilty and they know it. Buh-bye, Scotty. Hell's gotta special place for you, boy-o.


Kato Would and COULD Whupp Robin's Ass

David @ Better Living is one of my favorite bloggers. For only he knows that The Green Hornet was one of the coolest heroes ever on television. And, he's right. If you've never seen the show, and you've got Starz Action Channel, then you should check it out. They've also picked up the Irwin Allen classic "Time Tunnel" with James Darren. Both shows came out about the same time, but the Hornet was cooler.

In a related piece that i've been meaning to mention, but have too busy to do so, Mark Evanier takes on the task of watching the new DVD set of Gerry Anderson's "Supercar" a rarity of a show since it ran in Black and White in the early sixites, and was actually revived on The Comedy Channel, before it became Comedy Central (Remember the Higgins Boys and Groover? Rachael Sweet? Alan Havey? I didn't think so.) Mark notes that sometimes shows you remember that were cool when you were a kid don't hold up as well when you're an adult. He's right. I've seen the Shazam reruns they did on TV Land a few months ago. I really must have been hopped up on Super Sugar Crisps of have loved that terror then. I knew I should have watched The Grape Ape.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

The Truth...

You know what I really hate about this cold weather? The fact that that I'm still single. Here it is, holidays are right around the corner and I'm by myself. AGAIN. I don't wanna hear that "Awww, you got friends, Sam" stuff. I know that. I'm glad your reading this. It's jst the fact that I get tired of being single. I want a girlfriend. I don't want just a friend. Do you know what it's like wating all of your frinds have mates and you don't? It I had a girlfriend, she could have gone with me to the frickin' dentist and made sure I'd gotten home ok. I could have taken her with me tonight to the movies and we could have laughed at all the jokes together. She'd probably jumped my ass for gaining all this weight I'm getting from drinking too much fluids and made sure I'm be ok from dialyisis. Nope. I gotta do all this crap by myself. Yes, it sounds like I need to get my life in order, but I'm ranting here. Look, I've been alone for too long now. This is getting old. I don't want to have another depressing winter. I just want to be happy and meet a decent woman who won't lie, is smart, has a great sence of humor, will put up with me being ill, and at least, good on the eyes. If you know of anyone willing to go the extra mile, let me know, willya? 'Cause I'm tired of going out to dinner by myself.

Sorry. I just had to get that off my chest.

"Where's My Supersuit?!"

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Dogs 24/7

There's a new photo book coming that takes a look at pets and their owners called "Dogs 24/7" and their asking all pet owners to take pictures of their dogs, no matter how ugly the pet. You'll get a payment, which isn't much, but you'll get a copy of the book if they use yours. This is why I want to get a dog. I've got it all planned out. I plan to name him Earl Hofert and to teach him how to fetch, sit and turn channels on the remote. You just watch. It's happening soon.

Gotta run. Gonna go see "The Incredibles" tonight. Audio review coming.

Ya Gots Ta Chill

If you noticed the new Weather Pixie on you left down below, You'll see that the temperature has changed here in Savannah. Fall has definitly shown up in the south after having highs in the 80's up until last week. Which means it's cool days and cold nights. Now, I know it's not going to get as cold as say, Montana (wait for big audience pop), but for me, I hate it. especially in the condition I'm in now. Chilly weather literally slows me down since I've had the stroke. The nerve endings on my left side were damaged enough so that anything could knock me down. Whenever it rains or I take a shower and it hits the left side of my body, it feels like tiny dull needles constantly poking me. Cold breezes drop my body temparature and lowers my blood pressure, which I hate, so I wind up bundling up heavier than most during this time year. All I want for Winter is a warm coat and the ability to sip warm homemade cider this year. I hope your Fall , you stay warm too.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

How To Make Me Mad, THE REMIX!

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He wrote "Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls", You Know...

Here's a piece from Roger Ebert about his visit to the Savannah Film Festival and a shot for shot look of "Citizen Kane". I've seen the film. Big deal. Wanna do a shot for shot critique that'll impress me? Run "Catwoman" then in the middle of the film, stop it and ask what the Hell was Halle Berry thinking?

Monday, November 08, 2004

OOOH, BRUDDA

I'm tired from the clinic. Joey's doin' well, but he can't drink anymore which is good. His doctor cleared him for work, but told him he can't drive now for six months. Joey was supposed to take me to the dentist tomorrow for surgery. once again, I will have to hold off to get these teeth pulled.

Remember last week when I said I should get Big Pussy to knock them out for me? Forget that. Get me Goldberg. I'll let him powerbomb me first. I just wanna eat a good steak before Thankgiving

Sunday, November 07, 2004

How To Make Me Mad

Well, It's been a busy weekend, but I'm back with a great story to tell. There may be some harsh words, so watch out here.

From time to time since leaving Wet Willie's here in Savannah, I've been doing gigs at this place called The Bar Bar. It's a Yuppie meat market in downtown Savannah. The previous DJ there was a guy who thought he was king of the world and would move folks from the dance floor just so he could show off his Michael Jackson moves. After the owners of the bar Mark and David realized that he was a lousy jock, he told them that he was moving to Atlanta to work as an A&R guy for Jive records. The last they heard from him when he left was that he was working as a DJ at a seedy bar on River Street. We see now who's full of Jive. Nonetheless, I got the call to duty because they knew I was professional as hell and I know the music and the crowds. I've been packing them in the place ever since. The crowds love me, which makes me feel a lot better than I did the whole time I was at Willies and I get a hell of a lot more respect than I ever did from Bar Bar than any other bar I've ever worked.

The past few days the bar has been run by Mark's girlfriend, Tina. The regular manager, Susan took a month off and Mark thought it would be wise to get someone he knows to run the place. Tina seems like a niceable girl, and she had previously worked there before seeing Mark. It didn't matter to me. Just give me my money at the end of the night and let me go home, cause I don't care who you are after I get paid. Simple as that.

Now, I get all kind of folks to roll though the place when I'm there. A lot of them usually ask the same question. "Where's the old DJ?" I don't know, I don't really wonder about him, I never knew the guy, and what do you want to hear? That straightens them out quickly, they hear their song and they're happy. But, last night was different.

The dance floor starts at 10 pm, however Tina comes up to me as son as I walk in telling me she wants to open up early. I haven't even prepared anything yet, but I said ok fine. You're the guest manager, whatever. So I just threw on the first thing I could think of, which was "Roxanne, Roxanne" by U.T.F.O. , a classic in hip hop. Early in the evening, I usually play old school stuff to get it out of my system and no one usually shows up in the room too soon. But this time, as soon as the song started a group of girls showed up, heard the song and started to give me the skunk face. Now these girls are the Barbie doll types. Too pretty for their own good and filled with plastic. They wanted to be seen and noticed and I never notice them.

So, of the girls (we'll just call her Ho Bag #1) comes up to me and says, " Omygawd, like, WE wanna hear some good music. Like, could you turn that off and put on something good?" I told her that I just put the song on and she had three minutes to wait for another one. Her reaction was "Well, like, play a good one,like, soon." Then, she held up her hand like she wanted me to give her a high five.

Now, let's understand something. I'm 38 years old. I don't do high fives anymore. I also don't give the pound to women. I have very big, powerful hands and I am Black. Do you know how stupid I would look giving a high five to a woman, nonetheless a tiny white girl? If I were to make contact palm to palm with her, she's wind up with a sack of dust around flesh, then run off screaming, "The big Negro broke my hand!" I actually told a girl who had the jaw of a hundred year old lantern the night before that. Her reaction was that her guy friends give her pound all the time. I told her all her guys friend who do that also want to do her and they could care less. Guys should treat women like women. Well, Ho #1 didn't get that. I told her I don't give women high fives. She became disgusted and began to call me a dick, a nigger and that I can be fired. I put on my headphones and just went back to playing music. Sometimes it's all you can do without slinging CD's like throwing stars and killing all of them.

They stared asking where the old DJ was and I said I'm then new one. Nothing more, nothing less. Then, they got really upset over that. This is where Tina comes in to play. One of the skanks goes to get her and tell her that the uppity nigger has a problem and she should straighten it out. So, Tina comes up with a Ho and tells me that that they are friends of hers and they spend a lot of money there and what ever song they want to hear I better play it. I let Tina and the Ho know that I ain't a mind reader and they never ever asked for any particular song. If they have one, then I'll play it, but until then, I'll do what I normally do. So Tina goes the old don't you argue with me, I'm the boss here, then both girls walked away with that determined white girl walk. You've seen those during those stupid "Legally Blond" movies.

As you can tell by know, I'm pretty pissed off. So, I threw on a long tune and found Tina at the bar where she was pretty busy with her job. JUST LIKE I WAS WITH MINE BEFORE I WAS INTERRUPTED. I told her let's talk now before I walk out of there with all the music. We go into the back office and I told her my side of the story, but she didn't want to hear it then. She goes she wants to talk about it later, but it need ed to be worked out now, before anything else goes on. Nope, she wanted to talk about it after work and we'll argue later. So, I walked off pissed off while she thought she had the upper hand. No way was she getting away with this. I could have cared less who she was doing.

Soon, the other owner, Mark showed up and skid me what I thought happened. I told him the rundown which I wish I could have just done here. His reaction? That I'm doing a great job, the crowd loves me, the folks who works for the bar love me and I'm a damn good guy and it will be taken care of. He then apologized and told me it's cool. That's when I felt like the Teflon Don. For as soon as Mark made me feel better, Tina came up to me and asked was I ok. I looked at her and said, "Hey, I'm fine". That's when she dropped her head and out came an "I'm sorry". I said fine. And went to throw down the maddest mix I've done since I've been there.

I'm a pretty much a laid back guy. Give me the respect that I deserve. Don't, and by all that is holy, I will wish the fate of a thousand fears upon your soul. I will growl and sneer and and
give you the coldest touch the iceberg hit the Titanic. All any human wants is R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
I got it. For the first time in a long time, I got it. And, those skanks ever come back to The Bar Bar again, they'll know to give me the respect I deserve.

Damn, it feels good seein' people up on it.

Friday, November 05, 2004


I'd like you to meet my roomate, Joey. He's like the kid brother I never had. I actually do have two kid brothers, Martin and Eric. But something about Joey makes me like the guy. He's a misfit, but he's pretty cool. The bad part is he's only a buck-25, soaking wet with a brick in his hand and he drinks like a whale. Tonight, he scared the hell out of me. After I was talking to him tonight at Mercury Lounge, where he was completly sober, I wound up falling to the floor in a seizure. We wound up having to call EMS to take him to the hospital to find out what happened. I couldn't go, because I was stuck having to go to a gig, but his girlfriend Cheryl went with him. AS soon as he got there, all of our other friends showed up to make sure The Kid was ok. After tests, theycouldn't find anything and told him that he has to see a neurologist on Monday for a loser look. He's at home now, resting, but from this point on, no more drinking for Joey. I'm glad of that. He's only 25 years old. If anything happens to that guy, I wouldn't know what to do. It's funny. He's like family to me. Family I don't have. I love the guy like my brother, the doofus. Posted by Hello

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Target Is EEEEVIL

Don't go there. I went. It was awful . I'd never gone to a Target before, but if it's what it's like, I'm afraid to go there again.

There were too many damnned bargins. I couldn't take it.

I wound up having to tear myself away from the store. They had a home theater system there for 99.99. 99.99! Do you know how hard it was to walk away from that? I had a buggy full of stuff that I just couldn't help picking things up. Is this what a Target does to you? Before you knew it, I was in a corner of electronics in a cold sweat, shaking. It's so unfair. It's all unfair.

Buy the time it was over, I had gotten my composure and put back my Henley shirt and my Home theater and my 8 dvd's and my various kitchen gadgets and refused my Target card. But, I left the store happy, knowing that I had shaken the Target Dog off my shoulder.

I did though, pick up a great Merlita One on One coffee maker for 34.99. Man, that thing is sweet. I gotta go back to Target soon and get me one of them crock pots for Thanksgiving.

Darn you Target for having everything for a low, low price.

Some Final Election Thoughts

"This Election is hotter than a Times Square Rolex." WTF?

The following folks officially have no career after Tuesday: Alex Baldwin, Janene Garafalo, Sean Penn, Micheal Moore, John Zogby.

I'm not mad that G.W. is still in the White House. That's fine. It's the fact that I have to see his stupid assed cousin Billy on Access Hollywood that pisses me off.

Sure he's not President today, but Kerry still has his senator gig. AND, his Millions. And, one hawt daughter named Alexandria. GRRRRROWLLL.

Speaking of which, are they gonna stop production of catsup now out of anger?

What do you wanna bet Nader just had a couple of drinking pals in the garage just watching "Spongebob" just trying to keep Ralph calm thru the night?

Can we get back to funny now?

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Why is it so hard to get new help these days?

I don't to the politics talk much, so I keep it to the other blogs. But I figured I better do this now or else I'll feel left out and I'll start feeling alone and call my shrink.

Look, I know we gotta get a new guy in office every four years. But, whether we like the guy or not, we have to support the guy. After all, he is the President. It's just the fact that I worry that things could go wrong. Yes, I am/was Democrat. Please, don't tell me why I should be a Republican. I know what you have to do to get by in this country. Work hard and in the long run, it will come to you. Support your Army. Believe in your counrty. I know all that. But, not everyone sees that. Not even Democrats anymore. I just want folks to work together again and make this country what it was. I guess I'm a dreamer when it come to politics.

Maybe I don't know what I'm trying to say here, but I'm going to pray hard that we have a safe four years. I'll support Bush as much as I can, but there are just some things that don't jive right with me. As for Kerry, he did the best that he could, but it just wasn't enough for him to win. I dunno. Maybe the next election, the good guys will win. Whoesever side they're on.

Sighhhhh...

I was promised a years supply of catsup if Kerry won. Looks like I'm not getting it now.

HOW AM I GONNA MAKE MY CATSUP SAMMICHES NOW!?


Kerry Concedes, Bush WIns

Kerry also promises to bring Bush his lunch money and to do his home work for him for three weeks.

Let's hope for a nicer next four years now, shall we?

Yahoo! News - Presidential Election

this is an audio post - click to play

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

At Last...LINKS!

If you notice on the left side of your screen below, I have finally have SAM APPROVED LINKS on the screen. Now you will notice that it's in alphbetical order and not complete, which means that I have to get all the way to the Z's with this. These links are filled with either fun stuff or thoughtful reading and if you've never visited any of these sites, please do so. I should be done with this by the end of the day, so you could be here. All I ask is that if you show up here, please link me to yours. Thanks again and enjoy!

Late Happy Birthdays

Happy birthdays to both David and Babs! I know I'm late with both but I've been kinda busy. But, Happy B-day to both these great bloggers and to everyone else out there celebrating their day today! NOW GO VOTE!

Monday, November 01, 2004

GRRRR...

Guess what DIDN'T happen today?

I still have those dang teeth. As it goes, the dentist tells me that I should have the surgery AFTER dialysis, due to the fact that I have to take Heparin at the clinic, which alows me to bleed easier. I could have loss too much blood before hand, which would make dialysis difficult. All of this means that I have re-re-re-REsceduled my dental surgery for next Tuesday at 8am.

Have you ever just wanted to get something out of the way so you know it gets done, but someone or thing just keeps screwing it up? I'm about to just find a guy named Big Pussy, talk about him mom and just let him punch me in my piehole just so I can get rid of the teeth, then go get some wax ones.