"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Monday, July 12, 2004

I Hate Mondays

I know I'm writing this late (It's 11:13PM as I write this. The post will say different. Blogger Lies!) Anyway, I have a have a stress test early in the morning. I usually have one once a year, but this one is for THE LIST, as it will now be called. You want the truth, I hate stress tests. They put you on a treadmill with wires all over you while you run your butt off till you can't do it anymore. I'm not saying don't do it, but they should make it fun, y'know? Like letting you wear headphones. But that's too simple. No. They should do it THE SAM JOHNSON WAY.

You know this is gonna be f'd up.

Try this. You know that old joke about the guy who loses wieght by chasing a naked girl around the room everyday, then to really lose it they throw a gorilla in the room for fifty bucks more? Do that on a treadmill.

OR, you could try the Scooby Doo method of having a scary ghost/alien/vampire/Harlem Globetrotters chasing you, while you run in one spot for twenty minutes. I would do my Shaggy for this one, but I don't have Audio Blogger...YET.

I think the one that would work for me is have my ex-wife show up and let her whine about how much she would have done Prince if she hadn't married me. I'm runnin' like Rodney King from an L.A. beatdown. Now that's a stress test.

By the way, I promised I'd never write about my ex-wofe here. Baby, welcome to Hollywood.

Anyway, I still have one more task to go. I've got the colonoscopy in three weeks. This will not be pretty. Maybe I'll have a guest poster on that day. Any takers?

On a sad note, Isabel Sanford has passed. I know you all heard about it all day, but I had to mention it since it was part of my growing up and knowing that Black America was, well, Movin' On Up. Bless you, Weezie


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The part of the stress test I hate is shaving parts of your chest to stick the electrodes on. It makes you look like a homeless dog. Then it's itchy for weeks as it grows back.

I did one once in socks. They slipped down my feet until my heel was bare. They wouldn't stop the test for me to pull them up. I was running up hill tripping over my own socks.

Dave Hewitt

1:46 PM  

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