Sam-a-rama!

"Say, does this look funny to you?"

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Checking In...

Ok...I know I'm late. Just stop it?


It's been a tough day today. I had to go to the hospital to take care of left arm, due to the fact that the folks at the dialysis clinic couldn't hit the vien right because it's small. So I laid on the gurney in the surgery day room for a hour while they did their work. I, by the way was wide awke the whole time they did it, deadening the arm with Lydocane, running cathaters thru my skin, while watching the whole thing on a monitor.

Ok...I'll stop telling you about it. You're starting to look kinda queasy. Anyway, my arm is better, dialysis was ok today and I am pooped, I'm going to bed. Night!!

Sunday, August 24, 2003

SLAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM! Let the boys be boys!!!

A few months back, I saw the great Smokey Robinson reading a poem on H.B.O's "Russel Simmon's Def Poetrty Jam". The poem was about how we as blacks nave gone though many names, culturally over the years. I thought the peice was great it was about the same of my own views, so I went to the H.B.O messege board to try and se if I could find a copy of it. I finally did and was very happy about it. Too bad I can't post it here, but that's another story.

So today, I checked my mail and found one from Poetri, who had also been on the show. POETRI WROTE TO ME? How's that happen?

"Hey,

This is not Smokey's poem, even though I know that you were looking for
it awhile back. My name is Poetri, and I am the cat that did the poem
about Krispy Kreme Donuts. I just got off of Broadway doing "Russell Simmons
Def Poetry Jam on Broadway". We won A TONY AWARD!!! YEAAAA!

Anyway, I am emailing you to let you know that my new website is
finally up.
http://poetri.com

Please go to it and sign my guestbook, so it will look like a lot of
people
like me...hahahaha.

PS. Our book is also out. Go to Borders or Barnes and Nobles and pick
up a
copy of "Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway...and more"

Keep it Natural"


A TONY AWARD WINNER!!! DAAAAANG! I think my head just got a lttle bigger today. Thanks again, Poetri. Y'all go get the book, NOW!!!

Friday, August 22, 2003

Let The Good Times Roll

Last night at Loggerhead's was great. We didn't have a huge crowd, but it was good for a start. Our guest bartender, Jennifer Quackenbush, did a wonderful job, the music was fine for the customers, as I was told, the staff did their job, and the Jagermiester girls just showed up.

That leads me to something. Have you ever gone to a bar and they had a liquor/beer promotion? Usually, they had models/hot babes post the name of the drink on their clevage, hoping it'll sell more. Not to really slam the Jagermiester girls, but they just looked tired, just plain beat. A bit like how a person is after you've had a few shots of Jager. Now, that's how to sell a booze. Can you imagine any other distillery and their spokesmodels? I can just see one now for Jamison Irish Whiskey, one of my favorites when I drank. Just think of a slurring, drunk woman from Cork County, sitting at a bar with her Jamison sash on, just waiting for the Jagermiester to show up, ready for a cat fight. Guess who wins in that battle of the hooch.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

It's a Kinda Thursday?

I know...I haven't posted in a few days. I have a good excuse. I 'll finally start at Loggerhead's tonite, so to get ready, I had to make special CD's, which ment lots of ripping and burning. I usually start when I get home around seven, look for tracks that could work, then get them ready for the CD. That took a while, but I got it done. I think I have 15 CD's ready for the them.

Anyway, we won't be doijg the turtle races tonite, cause we don't have the turtles. I hope we can get them in in a week or two. But, I will be there every Thursday night. We hope to have loads of fun out there and bring in lots of customers. So, if you're ever in the area, I sugest you do come on down and check out the south in the summer.

Monday, August 18, 2003

It's A Kinda Monday

It's almost 3:30 p.m. est as I write this. It's already been a long day.

I had a date over the weekend with Mo. She showed up wearing a red dress that had me floored and the rest of the Mercury Lounge drooling. I think I had a cheshire grin on my face becasue of that for the rest of Sunday. Which is why I hard a hard time sleeping that night.

So, here it is...MONDAY. I have a meeting for my Medicare at 8:30am and did not want to get up. I just wanted to bask in the glow that I am seeing a VERY HAWT WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY WOULD PUT ON A RED DRESS AROUND ME. Reality sank in once I woke up, right at seven a.m., even though I set the alarm at 7:15. I wound up getting a phone call that turned out to be a wrong number after I looked at the caller ID. I never answered it. Somehow, I think it was a call from God, telling me, "Everything's cool, baby. You got the great girl, dialysis is fine, and you still have a roof over your head. I got this. Let me do the driving, man."

So, I got cleaned, dressed and hit the road. I got a good breakfast in along the way, one I haven't had in a long time. Afterward, I got to the Ga. Department of Health see about getting my Medicare and food stamps. For the record, I hate doing this. The person I talked to looked like she was tired and I felt like I didn't need to be there. It was like I was taking up her time. But, it was done after an hour and I was SO glad to leave.

When I get home, I see the handymen still working on Milton's room. It's loud. The banging of the hammers, the screaming of the guy who got something dropped on his foot. Aren't they supposed to wear steel toed shoes? I just wanted take a nap, and they ain't helping. Soon, Milton comes knocking on my door, to bug me about making the landlady pay for a professional carpet cleaning. I then reminded his that's there a home shampooer in ther closet and to use it and be quiet. Whether that works out, we'll see.

So, here we are NOW. It's Monday here in The Comic Box. All is quiet and I've only sold $10.50 today. I know you're driving, God, but could take Mo and me to the Bahamas for a few days?

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Are You Ready To Rock?

One of best freinds is a dude named Bob Ruggerio. We met about 10 years ago when I was just sstarting my television show, Underground Savannah. More on the show later. He's an accomplished writer who has edited local weeklies here in Savannah and the Houston, Texas area. He's now doing freelance work for a few papers and does a damn good job. Just like helping to start a feud with metal rocker Ronnie James Dio and everyone's favorite dad, Ozzy Ozbourne. God, would I love to se that fight. Next to Bob talking to Cesar Romero and Tommy Chong, this has to be my favorite stoty he's written to date. Oh, and Bob, if your reading this, Little Rickey Givens says, "Hi, Mo Fo".

Inside joke, folks. I'll tell you later

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Fair and Balanced, Part Two

In my last post, you may have noticed I put a link on the words "Fair and Balanced" . The reason for that was a Weblog protest to Fox news for suing satirist Al Franken for usinfg the tag line on the cover of his new book. As a big fan of Al, I had to jump in , as well as other fans of free speech. Other blogs jumped on the wagon Friday, hopfully making a big noise. It was all started by Neal Pollack, who has a great blog himself. He like myself and Al are both Fair and Balanced when it comes to our blogs. We hope that you are, too.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Where Were You When The Lights Went Out '03


To anyone in the Northeastern United States and Canada, my heart goes out to you. I was watching MSNBC after dialysis and saw footage of folks walking thru Manhattan like it was a giant mall. It does take things like this to bring man kind closer, even though it's a tragic thing to happen. I just wanted to wish the folks there good luck and we'll send a prayer.

The Real Sam Johnson Show...FAIR AND BALANCED.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The Mark of Streeter

I met Mark Streeter working in The Comic Box over the last year. He's a cool customer. He comes in every Wednesday when the new books arrive to see if there's anything worthhwhile, just walking around slowly to see the prints on the wall, contemplaiting a purchase. Just a very good customer. He's also the Savannah Morning News' politcal cartoonist, who's been given many awards for his work and hailed by many as a very funny guy. His drawings are thoughtful and whimsical at the same time, while trying to explain the events of the day with a wink, a smile and lots of ink.

Honestly, I only know of the man thru the store. We've never really hung out, although I did invite him to my Big Birthday Bash in June. He didn't make it, but he sent his regards. I did buy his compilation of drawings a couple of months ago and had him to sign it for me as I was a big supporter of his work. I even have a print of his drawing of the passing of Jack Lemmon. Jack had just entered Heaven and waiting for him, in a recliner was his old pal, Walter Mattheu. Mark wrote Jack saying, "Oscar! The Landlord called me up here because you were making a helluva mess of the place!" Considering "The Odd Couple" is one of my favorite films, the print is a treasure to me.

I look at Mark as one of my favorite artist, as well as a good customer. Plus, any man in my oppinion, who puts Clark Kent in the "thank yous" section of your first book, is an all right kinda guy. Check out his work here.

Getting Caught Up...

OK, there's alot to talk about here, so let's do it. I haven't really posted anything worth while, and I kinda owe it to the readers to do so. That's what writers try to do.

Last night, I was in a bad mood. My landlady is a sweet liitle Greek woman, but is ruthless when it comes down to money. Nonetheless, she rented out a room in the house I'm living in (I'm renting out half the place, if you must know) to a psycho named Milton. I had to deal with him once before. He had lived in the house last year for a month and a half, spouting things like he had been a psychic and he knew who was killer behind the missing children case in Atlanta 21 years ago. But, no one listened to him, even though, in his mind he was right. He stated he lost his amazing powers due to drugs and drink and was forced to live an ordinary life.

You can imagine what I said he could do with his "ordinary life" and would happen to him if he EVER uttered a vowel around me.

Needless to say, he left afterward and I was glad. He was moving in with his girlfriend, or whomever. I didn't care.

Then, the freak moved back in. Talk about pissed. Ben, my real roomie, hates it too. But, this time, we're trying to train the monkey to jump the hoops. I'm not sure it can be done. Really, I don't care. I just want peace and quiet.

So, while Milton the Monster was moving in, I was headed out. I called up a friend and told her I wanted MEAT. I didn't care where it came from. I just need to eat MEAT. RARE MEAT. We met up at what I now consider the Wal-Mart of restaurants: Golden Corral.

Let me give you the set up of the place, if there's not one near you. Sure, there are loads of places you can go to for a buffett. America loves a good buffett these days. This is why we're so fat and lazy. Buffetts make good little senators. But the Golden Corral is different. No...they have STEAK on the buffett. Slabs of MEAT that's cooked in front of you on a GAS GRILL (!), then sliced. You have the choice of rare, medium, or well. As in, "I may as Well eat it. It's on the menu. How Rare is it to to get alot steak and a plate of spagetti for 8.95?"

So, I rallied up to the counter and the cook gave me a slice of the MEAT. THe cool thing about it was, if I wanted I could go back and get more steak! Joy! I could hear my heart screaming to me. "Oh, God, yes! Clog me , please. This could never happen again! Be the Man you always wanted to be and eat steat to my content! All you need is some dancing girls, and you are made for life, mister!"

I sat down with my food and launched all my anger and all my frustration of the day into the steak. Then, the flavor hit me. Actually there was know flavor at all. Just the realization that ANYONE who puts steak on a buffett is just plain eeeevvvviiiillll. I couldn't even finish it. My appetite was gone and my taste buds ran like Saddam for the hills. Thank God for the guy who created A-1. If it wasn't for that, it would have been like eating raw concrete. I used it on everything. The steak, the mac and cheese, the bread, my iced tea, the table...

This is America, however. We have to eat. We love bargains. If we have to have it, we'll suffer and go eat at a buffett and eat food just like Mom used to make when she was angry at Dad and put a Swanson's frozen dinner in the oven and we'll pay for it, 380 degrees in the long run. We just don't care. ALL the food I can eat? HECK YEAH! We don't care that it sucks. It's all you can eat! Get outta my way, Gramps! Put some jets on the walker and let me thru to the fried chicken or I'm running you down, old man!

If you have a hankering, go. I'm not really trying to put the place down, honest. It's just that when they say all you can eat in the ads, it can only mean bad things. Just make sure they have an Iced Milk machine with a bar that has all the toppings. Now, those ain't half bad.

Virus Alert

Someone sent me the virus that's going around online. If you ever get an Email from Yurobing@yahoo.com...DON'T OPEN IT!!! it has a virus that could attach to your harddrive and warp it, especially if you have Windows 2000 or XP. Remember, Scan your mail first if it's an adress you don't know...so be safe. If you do upen it, Microsoft has a patch already made to take care of it. Good luck!

Monday, August 11, 2003

Choices

I got paperwork back today from the Social Security Administation about my status on help. I will recieve Medicade, but won't get disability, due to the fact I make over 800 dollars U.S. a month. I won't go into how much money I do make a month with you, but let's say I take from one to give to another in order to make it. I'm thinking of just doing the one night at Wet Willlie's in order to do this. It could possibly get me more money a month than I'd be making at both jobs, which would be good, since I need a new car. The downside is having to tell my landlady this and asking her if she can handle me paying lees for the next three months. If she can do that, all will be well. Knowing her however, she'll go crying and begging that she needs money now and the morgage on the house is killing her. I just want a place to stay and be comfortable, no matter what happens, and I happen to like this house. Why does everything in life has to be a catch 22? Darn you, Joseph Heller.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Brain Freeze...

I havn't posted in a couple of days, mostly because I coudln't think of anything to put down. I think I was thinking too hard about the political stuff. So, if your wondering what it's like trying to put one of this things together, try this on for size. It's a bear, y'all.

Friday, August 08, 2003

Uncle Duke Lives...

All of a sudden, it looks as though the blog has gotten political. Don't get upset...it's just me trying to broaden my surroundings. Hopefully some of you will understand. You don't have to follow any of this stuff, but it makes for great water cooler talk.

So I was checking out Ain't It Cool and it does have an interview with Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas". If you've never read the man's books, then you're in for a treat. If you have, then it's the same thing. It's a wild ride. You be the judge on the man.

Goin' Back To Cali

In our continuing, yet skewed look at the California Gubnatorial recall, we now have an up to date list on the folks running. It looks as though Mr. Drummond's adopted child is in the race as an independent, while Larry Flynt is also in for the Democrats. All the more why Arnold could win this one. He could wind up being the new face for the Republicans. Their version of a Clinton. He's done pot, he's been a womanizer, he's even done nudity. But he admits it. Well at least he's honest.

But, with guys like Gary Coleman, Flynt, and even a character named Trek Thunder Kelly eyeing the spot, Schwarzenegger could walk away cleanly and take the spot. The guy has the recognition, he has the clout, and the Republicans need this for a sort of overhaul to take the heat off of guys like Cheney, who for my opinion, looks and acts like the perfect conservative.You know....the old, balding, rich, white guy. I don't live in L.A. or anywhere else for that matter in California, but if I was, I'd get ready for some major changes come October.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Total Recall

It's official. Arnie is going to run for govenor of California. Meanwhile, so is Ariana Huffington, her husband, Gary Coleman and lots of others. The next few weeks in Cali will be interesting to watch. We'll keep an eye on it for you as it progresses.

You know, with this recall, anyone can run. My vote is for Ralphie May of Last Comic Standing for California Govenor. Hey, he came in second to Dat Phan. Give him a chance!

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Dat won! Dat won!

Ok...the date was fantastic, Mo's a great kisser and Dat Phan won in Last Comic Standing!!!!
I knew this was a good night!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Dat's the Man!!

I've got a few minutes before I step out with Mo. I took a quick shower to freshen up and feel awake. The greek place is only a few minutes away, I'll get there on time. As soon as I get out of the door, though I gotta watch Last Comic Standing. It's one of the better summer rality shows on. I don't have time to go though deatils of it all, becasue it's the final episode tonite on NBC. Comedy Central also reruns the shpow on Saturday nights as well. If they run it as much as they run old eps of BattleBots, then you'll never miss it. My pick to win of the group is Dat Phan. He's a zen master of comedy and he's never really done a regular set, like the other comics. The others are fantastic as well. Check it out and I'll get back to you after the date. Maybe you'll let me know who won.

If It's Tuesday...

then it must be dialysis day. I went in and weighed myself on the electronic scale and found out that I had gained 12 pounds since Saturday's session. How the heck did that happen? When going thru this, you have to keep an eye out on how much you drink, as your kidneys won't let them filter properly and your just plain stuck with it until you return to the machine.

There were more complications as well. My skin is very tough, making me a sort of Superman, something which is kinda cool in a geeked out way. But because of that, they can't seem to get the 16 gauge needle into the vein to pull the blood and return it. By the time it was done, it took at least 4 plugs to the arm before they could start. I felt like a pin cushion by the time they were done. I thought my arm would look like Popeye's when it was over. So, after four and a half hours of this, it was over and I was pooped. I got home and imediatly plopped down on the bed to rest. One more problem, however. I've got a date with Monette tonite! I hope to God I don't fall asleep in the middle of the suvlaki at the greek restaurant.

Monday, August 04, 2003

Yesterdya USA Update

As I was sitting down to peruse the web for a bit, I decided to tune in Yesterday USA and the Bill Bragg Show to see how things were going. I recieved a leter from him today after I sent him a letter a few weeks ago, letting him know that I thought his station was my favorite and that I posted it here. His letter. As I listened, I just happened to hear him mention my name and the Real Show! Jus tto let you know, Y-USA is heard around the world online, so I just got a big boost. Thanks, Bill! Man, do I want to do a show for those guys. I'm working on the old time radio show collection as much as I can. If I can ever get my DJ setup like I want, I may return to the airwaves doing the thing I love best...having fun.

By the way, here's what Bill wrote:

"Sam,Sorry I am so long in getting back to you! I just read your kind posting, and you really made my day. I tried to print the posting to read it on the air, but was unable to do so.

You are a good friend!

Bill Bragg"

Man, that was like getting a letter from Santa Claus for me. Cool!

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Everybody, Everybody...

I hope you guys had a great weekend. Mine was cool. Loggerhead's is about go to for Thursday night. By the way, it's on #1 old Tybee Rd. here in Savannah if you ever decide to come on down. Check Mapquest for directions. We're planning on a fun time with the stuff we thought up, just to make you happy. The food is great, the service is excellent, and I am just a shill for the place. Come on down and see for yourself. Tell them I sent you.

Now time for a link.If you're a fan of good flash animation, then check out Homestar Runner. I was told about this place for quite a while and didn't get the chance to see it for a bit. I was glad I got to it. The flash is nice and clean, but the writing is superb. The cast is lead by Homestar, who is a winner of all sports, but not the smartest marshmallow in the bag. Of course, every hero needs an archrival and his name is Strongbad. He and his brother, Strongmad, and sidekick, The Cheat thrive of making H.R.'s world a living heck with mass confusion and hilarity. It's one of the best things on the web today, and alot better than even larger studio sites. Now, go on... check it out. If you're not satisfied, I'll personally buy you a milkshake. Really.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Sir Mixalot would be proud...

I got a quick link here, or "huurr", as the kids say these days. It's the perfect site for those of you who like or have a little more junk in the trunk than usual. I saw it and got a great laugh from it and I hope you do too. I give you...Badonkadate.com!

And, whatever you do, if you are single, don't take the site seriously, M'kay?

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Screech Spade

I have the entire weekend off, so I figured that I am going to enjoy myself by going out and having fun tonite. Yes, Sam is STEPPING OUT!

So, because of that, I may not post tomorrow. I'll leave you with this instead. I came about this post a few weeks ago and have been waiting to pass this along. This is probably the greatest home made full length movie based on a Saturday moring kids show ever. I give to you Saved By The Bell Mysteries! Enjoy!

Friday, August 01, 2003

The Governator?

Arnie is planing to announce whether or not he's run for Califorina Govenor on The Tonight Show this Wednesday. Letterman had a good point in his Top Ten List earlier this week when his number one reason why Arnold wouldn't run is the fact that he didn't want to take a 29 million dollar cut in pay. Here's the gist of the ongoing saga of Cali here.
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Real Show Salute!

I've gotten my first real Email from a reader! I am, like, so stoked about! I only thought it was just pals and family reading up on me. But the FIRST Real Show Salute goes to Dave Hewitt, who has been reading for a month now! Dave, thanks for taking the time to check us out. You can pick up your free supply of Turtle Wax at the door. Our ushers here will bring it to you.

If you have any cool links you want to share, email me at Blaxstone1@Yahoo.com. You'll get a mention and salute if I use it here. Thanks, everyone!
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I'm going to keep "Secrat Origins" as sort of a semi-regular feature of the blog. I'll get it from time to time, pending what mood I'm in. It started out to be a link to a very cool music site, The 360 Project, which has musical oddites galore, from William Shatner's golden tones to Calypso singer and dancer Louis Farrakan. Yes, that one. However, I started to talk more about family instead.

Speaking of which, I got an email from one of my sisters, Linda, who saw the piece and had some corrections:

"I see (in) your family story, you have Anthony older than me but it's the other way around, and what happened to the other siblings, Betty, Rosetta and Wyman who was also there until conflict sat in with your father, but mama raised all of us. The only one wasn't in the house with us was my half sister Shelia, who was my daddy's child, but we were also raised around her. Oh, and your mama spelled her name SARAH..."

Let's now tally this up...

After careful counting, we know stand at 11, including me, circa 1966, not counting Sheila. But, if we were to take into account that my father was, in nicer terms, a bed hopper and look at later years, you would find my whole baby brother and last of SARAH's children, Martin, who was born in 1971. His story coming up later. Dad also sired two boys in New York who I have only seen pictures of, Eric and Abe. Eric, I belived worked for HBO HQ at one point. Dad was also the birth parents of girls Debora, Terri, and Adrian, all here in Savannah. Finally, in his Last Two (!) marriges, he had a son from one wife, Eric (again), and two girls from his last wife, Catherine, the only woman whom I call step mother, Erica and Catherine, who saw nicknamed Cherry. Let us not forget Catherine Sr.'s daughter who was adopted by my dad, Damitta. I will not those who have come to my father's store and claimed to be a child of his, because, frankly, there were way too many of those freaks that I stopped keeping count and this has given me a splitting headache.

In all, 21 FREAKIN' BROTHERS AND SISTER!!!!!!! Holy Walton's Creek, Batman!

Do you see NOW why I'm so quirky?

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